The girl behind her smile

- 3 -

ELIZA

My feet tap against the hardwood floor, as music fills my ears. The slow beat luls me into a drowsy trance, and I lay down my head on the table, resting my forehead against the length of my arm. The library was empty, other than a few other people dotted around the room, not many people were here after school on a Monday. I had been here for the past hour waiting for Ezra to finish practise, filling out my time with homework that had to be completed.

I bring my head up slightly, scanning the room as an unsettling feeling overcomes me. I could feel eyes trined on me, but the location was something I could not pinpoint. The hair on my neck was standing, and the slow beat of my heart had started to pick up its pace. I lift the screen on my phone, checking the time to see how much longer I had to wait before I could leave. There was ten minutes until his tryouts were finished, and I felt uncomfortable staying here any longer. I grab my bag after pushing my belongings in and I make my way out of the library.

Staying at school after lessons was over was never on my bucket list, it seems odd, the halls would be hollow, no friend to walk around with - all that was left was the remnants of the day. Anything cold happen in this time, the gates to our school was open most of the time, and even though we required ID to enter the building, it isn't very difficult to snatch someone else's.

Anyone could be lurking.

That's probably why I found it slightly creepy to walk these halls on my own. It was silent and empty. The only noise was the echoing of my feet hitting the ground. Just the idea of how packed this school can be during breaks and lunch seemed insane.

The creeping feeling of being watched remained with me, no matter how far I was from the library.

I could probably blame it on paranoia.

Thinking the worst of many situations - even the most ordinary - was something that I developed over the 4 month period - after his death. Who would have thought that my dad would have ended in a horrific crash, on an ordinary day just like any other - right before my eyes?

You would think that this would make me distant to others, scared or paranoid to talk to people or reluctant to go to places. In fact I'm just the opposite. I still try to talk to everyone, I still try to go out, I still try to be happy.

But there are also times where I want to be left alone, times when I can't be bothered to talk, times when all I want to do is become devoid of all emotions - especially when my mind overloads. Because the fear of something beautiful and normal becoming a disaster eats away in the back of my mind. All the time.

The hallway seems to go on forever before I make it out of the front doors. As I step out, the cold wind whips my face, and a momentary sense of comfort washes over me. I stand there for a couple of seconds, soaking in this feeling, before I spot someone approach me.

Jasper.

Unsure about what I should do, I unplug my earphones and place them in my pocket, stalling for time - just to see if he was coming to talk to me. And I continue to stare ahead of me, completely forgetting that I should be heading to the fields. Within seconds he appears in front of me, but I make no effort to acknowledge him. He shuffles to stand in the other side of the door, leaning against the frame.

"Why are you here?" I ask, mirroring my thoughts.

"Am I not allowed to stand here?" He questions.

"I mean normally people would be home by now, school was over like an hour ago." I reply.

"You're here."

"I'm waiting for my brother to finish his baseball practice." I turn my head, to see he was already looking at me.