Wanted For Pleasure

Chapter Forty-nine: the 'L' bomb

"You open your heart knowing that there's a chance it may be broken one day and in opening your heart, you experience a love and joy that you never dreamed possible. You find that being vulnerable is the only way to allow your heart to feel true pleasure that's so real it scares you. You find strength in knowing you have a true friend and possibly a soulmate who will remain loyal to the end. Life seems completely different, exciting and worthwhile. Your only hope and security is in knowing that they are a part of your life."

Morgan Ann Bennett

Another day I woke up feeling like a princess but not for all the good reasons such as the glitz and glam, but because I'm locked away in a tower guarded by the fire-breathing Dragon that is Malcolm and his hot breath.

Ugh, he kept me up all night with his loud mouth breathing, I kept pushing his lips together but it was no use. He'd toss and turn and start to slobber, too.

I hate Malcolm.

"Oh, you know how much it hurts, every time you say you hate me; but when we're makin' love, you make it worth it. Can't believe the places that you take me..." I sang along to the Shawn Mendes song Perfectly Wrong.'

How fitting, I thought in my head. Eye roll.

Slouching in my vanity, I disassociated from the lyrics that were hitting a little too close to home, and finished getting ready for the day.

"—You're perfectly wrong for me, and that's why it's so hard to leave. Yeah, you're perfectly wrong for me.
Oh, you're perfectly wrong for me, all the stars in the sky could see; Why you're perfectly wrong for me." The lyrics went on as I set angled my hair in the mirror.

Damn you Shawn Mendes for making such vocally beautiful music that is so unfortunately relatable.

My phone lit up with a text message from Jasmine. It read:

Today's the big day!!!

I'll give the quick rundown. Basically, I might've let it slip to my best friend that I have strong feelings for Chris and wanted to take things to the next level. And, yes, I know that with our peculiar situation, there's not many levels we can go to, but still.

I at least had to get it off my chest before it was too late. Isn't it obvious, already? Oh, but you know how men can't pick up on things, you have to look them in the eyes and speak clearly.

Things are less than favorable for Chris and I right now but we had fought back hard to get to this point, and I feel as if there's a reason that we prevail after each and every hard trial.

The worst that could happen is he doesn't say it back and that would hurt, yeah, but at least I confessed once I felt it, and he'll know.

Okay, psych. I'll actually be crushed if he doesn't say, or feel, it back. I mean, it's Chris, there's no telling what mood he'll be in.
And oh, that's exactly why I had plans to stop at the finest lingerie store and find something absolutely irresistible to wear tonight for him before dropping the 'L' bomb.

I replied to Jasmine, letting her know that I'll pick her up as soon as I was finished getting ready.

Sitting my phone aside, I stared at my reflection and took a deep breath.