Misc.

how to get away with murder 2

"So what you're saying is that i'm broken."

"No- Connor that's not what i'm saying." 

"But you implied it." 

"No."

"Yes." 

"No."

"Yes! Ollie, you can be honest with me." Connor replied to his boyfriend, his voice thick with passive aggression.

"Please don't do this." Oliver sighed, rubbing his face. 

"Okay. I won't." Connor said, petty. "I mean- fighting with someone who's broken is just unfair, isn't it?" 

"I wasn't looking for a fight! All I mentioned was that you don't seem to be doing so good right now, and that you're allowed to opt out of things you can't handle." Oliver persisted, trying to find a middle ground.

"Fine. You weren't looking for a fight. Just...leave me alone. Go whine about it to Asher or something." Connor said, his voice cold as he shut the bedroom door in his boyfriend's face.

The lock clicked, and Oliver stood in the empty apartment alone and bluntly shut out. 

---

Two days passed. The guys were swamped with work, and school, and cases and it seemed best that the conversation was just left untouched. Not everything needed to be resolved. 

Friday night came. 

"Yknow what? Let's have a party. You go get drinks, I'll call Asher and Michaela, hell, I'll even call Laurel." Connor said, jumping up, suddenly really excited at the prospect of getting drunk. 

"Excuse me?" Oliver said, looking up from his laptop, confused.

"Go get drinks. I can give you the money if you want." Connor offered, pulling his boyfriend up. 

"Don't you have like, five cases to prepare for Annaliese?"

"Screw Annaliese. I want to do what I want for just one night." Connor decided, sighing.

"Are you sure-"

"Yes I'm sure! C'mon, it'll be fun." 

"You. Fun." Oliver teased, gradually getting on board with the idea.

"Yes. Me. Fun. Wow." Connor replied.

"Okay, fine. I'll go get the drinks." Oliver conceded.

"Awesome. Get something good. Get whiskey. No- get vodka. Now that's a real screw you to Annaliese." 

Oliver laughed, kissing his boyfriend briefly before pulling on his shoes and grabbing his coat.

"I'll see what they have. You call the others, I'll be back in half an hour."

Connor's boyfriend left their apartment and in his rush of sudden joy he turned on their speakers and started playing some music. The best, upbeat thing he could find. Nodding his head and humming along, he started cleaning up, before having the wonderful, impulsive idea to surprise his boyfriend.

-

When Oliver returned from the liquor store, there was music playing loudly and the house was weirdly clean.

Connor was nowhere in sight.

"Hello?" Ollie called out, setting the bags on the counter. "Connor where the hell are you?" he asked, checking in the bedroom to no avail.

The bathroom light was on and the door was opened just a crack. 

"Connor?" Ollie asked, pushing open the door to find his boyfriend sitting on the floor, sobbing. Hair clippers lay on the edge of the sink and there was hair everywhere. 

"Oh my god, what happened, are you okay? Did you hurt yourself?" Ollie asked, immediately concerned, kneeling down.  

"Surprise." Connor said, tearfully. 

"Connor what happened. Did you hurt-"

"No- i didn't- I didn't hurt myself. I just..." he started, hiccupping turning into hyperventilating. 

"Hey- Connor- breathe- I'm here."

"I just thought it was a good idea- to change my-" he cut himself off with his own crying, pressing his fingers into his eyes. 

"change your...? Honey, why would you need to change anything?"

"Because i'm broken. I'm broken, i said it myself and I can tell you agree. And I thought if maybe I looked different I wouldn't...you wouldn't..." his voice cracked, and he dissolved into tears, hiding in his boyfriends shoulder, gripping him close apologizing through waves of sobs, "i'm sorry, i'm so, so sorry." 

They held each other on the bathroom floor and in the brief moment of clarity Connor experienced between calming down and becoming grounded to reality once more, he realized Ollie would love him no matter what. 

Eventually, Oliver pulled back to look at his boyfriend's head. 

"Hey, it actually looks pretty good." he smiled sympathetically, running his hand through his partner's bristly hair.

"Thank god." Connor laughed tearfully.

"Connor, I'm sorry if what i said came across the wrong way. You're not broken. And I love you."

"I know. I love you too."