Misc.

breaking bad 5

joel henderson had visited exactly ten different cities in three different states since the last time he'd seen jesse pinkman. he had eventually returned to albuquerque on business for gus, and his homecoming was met with considerable displeasure. he came back kicking and screaming, figuratively being dragged back through the desert scraping the dirt up with his fingernails, throwing a tantrum like a child. 

what made it worse was the gus refused to tell him what it was for, simply that he was needed for "security work" and he would not take no for an answer. this wasn't a job opportunity,2 it was a bosses order. 

ever the early bird, he'd arrived for work far before any of the actual employees showed up, and when they did joel was confused of the sight of merely an old man. 

then jesse arrived. 

joel stared, his brow etched into a frown, and jesse stared back.

nobody said anything. 

joel henderson had visited exactly ten different cities in three different states since the last time he'd seen jesse pinkman, and it took two weeks and a day for them to speak to each other once more.

it was one in the morning, and joel had blissfully slept through the police sirens that wailed their way around the downtown. he woke begrudgingly at the sound of someone rapping on his door, and shuffled to the door disoriented. 

jesse stood in his doorway looking haggard, panting, his face injured. he looked at joel who squinted at him with one eye shut. his hair was a mess, poking out everywhere and jesse noticed for the first time how much lighter brown it had become since the last time they'd spoken.

"jesse what the fuck?" joel said, rubbing his face "it's the middle of the night."

more police sirens wailed by.

"can i come in?" jesse asked.

"no- you? how did you even find my apartment?"

"please, i swear, let me come in, just for a minute." jesse urged. 

"why would i let you come in? i don't even know if im supposed to be talking to you." joel mumbled, yearning for the bed. 

"joel. please." 

there was something about his voice, jesse saying his name again that shifted something within the other man. he shuffled aside, nonverbally telling jesse he could come in. 

"what do you want? i was sleeping, and it's cold." 

"i need- i need  a place to stay. for the night."

"are you fucking out of your mind?" joel asked, suddenly irritable. any sympathy he'd felt had vanished in an instant.

"what?"

"are you out of your mind? i don't see you for a year and then you just show up and don't even say hi to me?"

"man, are you serious?" jesse retaliated, "i fucking work there, you're the one "showing up". and bold of you to even mention that, what with ghosting me and shit?"

"i didn't fucking ghost you- i was dealing with-" joel began, but jesse overlapped, finishing the statement himself.

"yes you fucking did, you left me alone in that fucking house like the cold bitch you are and then you didn't ever answer your phone again."

"and yet you still show up at my house unannounced at one in the goddamn morning asking for a place to stay. if you came here to berate me for dealing with my own shit you can fucking leave, jesse. there's the door."

"no. i don't...i'm sorry." he said, genuine remorse in his voice. things went quiet again.

"i'm sorry too." joel replied regrettably. "i shouldn't have been so defensive. you can stay the night if you need to, you can take the bed."

"what? no, don't be ridiculous. i'll take the couch."

"jesus christ im too tired to have this argument, we're not children. look, im going to bed, if you want to also sleep in the bed, i wont freak out, theres enough room." 

joel was drifting off once more when he felt the mattress dip by his feet. he propped himself up on one elbow and saw jesse's silhouette in the darkness taking his shoes off. 

"there's extra blankets in the cupboard." joel yawned. 

jesse lay down, back facing joel. 

"it's fine. goodnight." 

"don't bleed on my fucking sheets." joel told him, before turning his back to the man and finally going to sleep.

-

the morning shone through the window, and the cold grey october sky made its presence known. in the bedroom, joel shifted, waking up, only to find himself nuzzled close to the chest of the man who had so abruptly dropped by last night. 

weirdly enough, he felt safe. warm. he forgot how much he missed human contact that didn't make him feel wary, or alert of the state of his own safety. 

jesses arm was slung over joels shoulder, chin on his head, quite exactly the polar opposite position of how they'd both fallen asleep the night prior. 

joel began to shift out of it, only to wake his friend, ever the light sleeper. 

"hey." jesse said groggily. 

"hey yourself." joel replied, staying where he was.

it was quiet for a while, both men processing what had happened leading up to their reunion. it was joel who broke the silence.

"does this make up for when i ghosted you?"

"i guess. maybe." jesse chuckled. 

"what do you mean, "maybe"?"

"i don't know, it's like, paying back debt. you do it little by little."

"uh huh, so every time we sleep in a bed together my debt is payed back?"

"yeah you could look at it that way."

"well...i do. and i think its a good idea."