CHAPTER 3 : Confessing

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The days goes like usual. Zee and nunew have several events and so does other domundi boys. They have fun meeting with the fans and having interaction with them.

Nunew and the other domundi boys are at their gathering house to film their real life vlog while zee are having a workshop to film his new lakorn with actress Melissa. After finish filming the vlog, nat approaching his best friend, nunew that was having macaron prepared by the staff. 'New,how about you and p'zee. Are you guys ok?' asked nat curiously. 'Hmm?? What do you mean?'. Nunew was confused by the question from nat. 'Didn't p'zee say anything?' Nat raise his eyebrow. 'What about it?' Nunew try to analyse the situation. 'Oh! hmm..nothing..I need to go.P'max is calling me'. Nat pretend to take his phone out. He should not bring up the topic first.

Nunew was faster. He grab nat shoulder turning him in one swift motion to face him. ' Tell me. What is this about? You are not getting away until you answer me'. Nunew look into nat eyes. Nat feel nervous with nunew seriousness. 'Its just...just about that night..hmmm...p'zee and I saw you and p'bam'. Nat scratching back of his head while talking. After few second, nunew nodded to himself. 'I got it'. Nunew get inside a room and locked himself . He need time to think. Did Hia really see that and does not bother about it at all? Does hia really don't need to hear any excuse or explanation from me. Nunew feel disappointed on himself. It's been 2 years he had knowing zee and almost 5 years he have crush on zee but he really cannot understand zee behavior.

The feeling that he can't deny and the love that can never be destroyed. He tried several times going out with other boyfriend and even having a girlfriend but he cannot betray his own feeling. He love Hia and he is the only one.But ,after he heard from nat, it broke his heart more than anything. If zee really did not care about him after all he has done to him before, he will get out from zee life. He won't live in a fantasy world that he dreamed of. The fantasy that won't never turned to reality.

Nunew decided to go to zee house. Zee must have return from the event at this hour. The wristwatch he was wearing show at 9 pm. Nunew grab his things and get out from the domundi's house as soon as possible. He need to confirm this with zee tonight. As he arrived at the front door of zee ,he was hesitated whether to ring the bell or turn back now. His action will bring a great impact on their relationship after this. He just does not want this to end badly. Like Hia said, once we create a relationship, it will continue. We will learn about each other more. However, his action are faster than his thinking. He ring the bell and the door open after a few seconds without he greeting me. He walked following the sound of water splashing in the kitchen. P' zee was washing his bowl. Seem like he just had a late dinner.

'Aow nhu, why you not inform me you are coming. I may go to the gym at this hour. Luckily, I was decided skip it today' . Zee talk with his back on nunew and keep washing the bowls. There is a silenced and awkward atmosphere between them. 'Nhu?' .Zee ask for nunew, thinking he might not hear him asking. 'I know Hia saw me and p'bam kissing that night'. Nunew bravely blurt out the sentence he was hesitating before. Zee become a statue after hear the secret he been keeping from was disclose by nunew. Zee then turn his body and facing nunew that are a metre away from him.

'It does not matter' zee said sarcastically. ' Why would it not? Does hia really don't need my explanation? Hia keep behaving like nothing happened and expect us to be like this as usual? After what I learn about that night?' Nunew try to endure his tears from flowing. Not now. He need to settle this tonight. He want an assurance. 'Why can't we? It just a kiss and it had already happened. It's you that try to overthink things. There is nothing between us. What right did I have to be jealous?!'. Zee cannot contain himself when he think nunew has kiss somebody else but he did not want to put pressure on anyone.

'Is this right? Is the thing we are doing is right, hia?! I love you. You know about it but you keep it silenced. What are you trying to do? Questioning me about your right on me will hurt me more than it could be. I love you. You have any right on me. You have the right to be jealous, to hear my explanation but you didn't.' nunew sobbing after uttering the word he want to say to zee. The love that he never express through word. That word was graved in his heart because he never dare to tell zee in person about the long love he has for zee. The action was oblivious and enough for zee to describe his feeling.

Zee feels weak hearing nunew expressing his love. He know about nunew feeling more than anyone could tell but he don't want to ruin nunew career that just on his peak. Nunew is still young and he got lot of potential. ' It's not just about us nhu. You just start you career. What if..' Zee words was cut off by nunew. 'I choose hia over my career! Hia are the one I want. The one that will give me happiness.' It took a while before nunew moved closer to zee until there are really no space between them. 'Ki..kiss me ,hia' nunew bravely asking for a kiss . Zee still not moving. He was confused by nunew request. Is the confirmation that he need?

Nunew anxiously waiting for the kiss but there are no response from zee. When nunew are ready to turn his back , zee speak up firmly. 'stay!' . Zee reach for nunew cheek and rubbing the wet cheek that full of tears. Zee hands was big enough to cover nunew small face. He feel sorry to make he cry because of him. His gaze was shifted into nunew eyes and make it way down to his lips. He stare on nunew lips for a while before gazing back into nunew eyes asking for certainty. Nunew closed his eyes waiting for the next step. Zee kiss him softly and tenderly to let he know his feeling and reach the answer that nunew was seeking for. The red lips in front of him was so appetizing that he cannot control himself to have a rough kiss. Zee sucks his upper lips repeatedly before start sucking it vigorously. Nunew put his arm around zee neck to deepens the kiss. He want to feel more love that he has been waiting for long. Zee hold nunew waist close to him . The tongue darted inside each other mouth ,savoring the taste. Nunew tilted zee head to have a better access. Their head are flickering back and forth until zee push nunew away from him.

He need to stop before he really cannot stop himself. Nunew stare at zee confusedly. ' We need to stop... I can't help myself if we go further' zee explained while trying to catch the breath. There was silence between them for a few second. Both are trying to catch the breath that they have lost. After a while, nunew move away from zee and grabbed his stuff. 'Umm..Hiiaa, I will go back first.. we will talk more about this tomorrow' nunew also does not have any mean of going further before they are certain about each other feeling. ' I can send you home' zee is ready to pick his car key when nunew stepping out the door rushly. 'I will go back by myself. I will call you when I arrive' nunew going out of the door with a small smile on his face. ' Be careful on your way' zee just watching nunew going out of the door from the back.

Zee smiling by himself while his hand pressing his lower lip. He cannot wait for the next day to come.

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