CHAPTER 13 : The Fear of Losing

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The airplane landed safely. Nunew take a taxi on his way to the hospital. He walk directly to zee's ward. As he almost reaching the door, p'kla show up. Nunew was not in his mood to ask about p'kla whereabout this morning. He was still shocked from what happened to zee. He had no energy left after cry a river. His chest feel like there is a lump squeezing him tight and painfully. 'New, maybe now is not a proper time for you to meet zee' p'kla blocked his way. 'I want ..to see hia' his tears falls down to the ground. P'kla still insisted on where he is standing. Nunew fight his way in but p'kla push nunew back. ' I want to see..hiaa...Let me see hiaa..' nunew sobbing while uttering the words. He desperately want to see zee. 'No new, go back first!' p'kla shout to nunew. P'aof come out from the room. 'P'aof..I want to see hia.. Let me in phi...' nunew begging to p'aof. 'New, we will talk later..can you go ..' p'aof words was cut off 'No! Let me see him first..why everyone doesn't let me see hiaa' nunew cry harder. 'New please...we might disturb other patient...zee just gain his conscious..he is fine now..you don't have to worry...I will update you if anything happen..but now ,I need you to go back and have a rest...' P'aof convince nunew . 'How dare you come here...after all you have done to him...do you know how hurt he is..I already warn him..you don't deserve zee..don't show your face here' Melissa come out from the door ,speaks blankly. 'Mel..this is not a proper time to blame anyone..go in..zee needs you' P'aof stopped Mellisa from going further. He aware on how wicked Melissa can go. He don't want to worsen the matter anymore. Besides, they are at the hospital, so it is not appropriate for them to argue here. Melissa smile wickedly. She walked inside the room. Nunew was confused on what happened. Why everything seem out of puzzle. What happen to zee? His tears are coming out non-stop. P'aof hold his shoulder tightly to reassure things. Nunew head back to his pa and ma home. He persuade himself that everything will be alright but nothing could ease his mind.

Nunew's ma opened the door when she heard the bell ring. She was surprised seeing her son standing at the front door .'What happened, son?' ma asked when she saw his son's eyes already bulging . Nunew hug his mom tightly. 'What should I do ma?' nunew sobbing as his ma patted his head gently. 'I don't know what to do ma. It was my fault that he...' nunew sentence hang as he felt a lump going down his throat. He just let the tears out. He need a shoulder to cry on. 'I don't want to live without hia..I love him..I love him so much' nunew express his feeling. His ma is already in the verge of tears. She don't want to see his son in this miserable state. 'Let's sleep son. You need to rest. Or do you want me to prepare your favourite dish?' nunew ma persuade her son but nunew just shook his head weakly. 'I want to rest. Thank you ma.' nunew head up the stairs to his room. He still haven't had any meal today but he didn't have any apatite.

Nunew close his eyes but his body keep turning left and right. He can't sleep. His eyes was sting after crying for too long. He miss zee. He want to see him so badly. He don't know why everyone didn't let he see him. He try to call zee. After a few ringing, the call was answered .

Nunew : Hello.. Hia?

Zee : Hello...who are you?

Nunew : Hiaa...can you remember me?

Zee : I'm sorry..I didn't save the number

Nunew: Nevermind hia...I'm just someone you know..how you feeling now?

Zee : Better..

Nunew : ok krub hiaa..get well soon

The call ended. 'Did hia lose his memory or is it possible hia didn't recognize my voice? But I'm the only one call him hia' nunew thought to himself. However ,he is satisfied enough to hear zee voice. He want to ensure zee was alright.

A week passed by. Today is the day zee discharge from the hospital. Nunew already talk to p'aof about zee's condition. Zee suffer from post traumatic amnesia results in a traumatic brain injury because of the hard blow on his head. Besides, zee suffer partial memory loss of his previous 4 years .It may take months for him to recover. The doctor already remind not to pressure him or let him under high stress. It may worsen his memory. That's why P'aof didn't let nunew in, the day zee was warded. He didn't want to put the pressure on zee. Besides, they have not yet inform zee about his memory loss that day. They want to find appropriate time to inform him.

Nunew haven't met zee the whole week. He is afraid he might trigger zee memory. He have deal with p'aof to introduce him as a housemate to zee. Being zee lover only will bring a bad memories. Nunew want to start all over and forget about the past. Nunew anxiously waiting for zee at their home. He has been staying there since yesterday. Nunew want all to be prepared so zee would feel comfortable. He even separate their room so zee can have his own private space. Nunew want to take everything slowly. Even p'aof also have reduce their work schedule to let zee have a good rest.

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