POV: You Love Charles Leclerc

9. I Can't Do This, Y/N

734 words
Inspired by 'How Do I Say Goodbye' by Dean Lewis
Listen to the song while reading 😁
⚠️ talk of loss & death of loved ones- if anyone wants to talk I know what it's like so don't be scared to reach out, sometimes telling a stranger can be easier than someone you know

20th June 2017.
The week Charles lost his father was a rough one. All you could do was watch him and hold him through the pain. He was understandably falling apart.
That weekend was also the F2 Baku race which you were going to support him in. On Sunday, after qualifying on pole with no problems, you were feeling good. You knew he was strong enough as a driver to win but you were worried about him, as ever. Before the race, you and Charles were sitting together in his hospitality room, laughing about a meme you saw on your phone. You looked at him and noticed that even though he was smiling and laughing with you, his eyes were red as though he had been crying. "Charles," you said, wanting to check on him, "how are you feeling about today?"
"I'm good, the car is fast and I think we will do well today." He smiled but you knew he was putting it on and knew what you were really talking about. "You know what I mean, I know you're trying to be strong but it's okay to be sad, baby. It's understandable and I've been there, you can tell me." You assured him, remembering the day you lost your grandfather, who you were very close with.
"You haven't been in my position, Y/N." He replied, his voice cracking as a tear rolled down his face. You put a hand on his arm to reassure him. "You haven't lost your father and one of your best friends, you don't know what that's like!" Tears were streaming down his face by now. "No, I know. But there's one thing I do know, Charles." He looked up at you. "You are the strongest person I know and you will find a way to get through this. I'm going to be here for you whether I can relate or not because I love you and I care about you, okay?" He looked up at you with desperation and heartbreak in his eyes, "I don't think I can do this, Y/N." His eyes were spilling with tears, his voice no more than a whisper. You pulled him into your side and rubbed up and down his arm, attempting to comfort him somewhat. "Yes you can, Charles. You're too good to let this go. You're so strong and you will get through this. It's okay to feel like this for a while but then you have to move on and think about the good things your father did. And Jules. Do you understand?" You felt him nod from your shoulder. "Good. So you are going to get up and go out there and give it your everything for Jules and your father, okay? Think of how proud they will be of you, think about what they would have wanted you to do. Would they have wanted you to sit here upset about it?" He shook his head no. "No, right." You kissed his forehead. "I know I said this before but I'll say it a thousand times more if that's what it takes. You're the strongest person I know and I'm so unbelievably proud of you, baby. Go make them proud." He looked up at you and you offered him a smile, wiping away his tears gently. He showed you a watery smile back gratefully and kissed you before going into the bathroom and splashing his face with cold water and preparing for the race.
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Naturally, you worried about him the whole time but he showed you no need as he raced his hardest. He was putting in phenomenal lap times and pulling amazing moves on the cars in front if he dropped behind (which only happened twice when he came out of the pits). You knew that as he was doing this he was thinking of Jules and Hervé.
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At the end of the race, once he had won, you were right at the front of barriers to congratulate him. He saw you as he got out of the car and ran over to you and the team, throwing himself at the barrier and onto everyone in celebration. He stepped away and took off his helmet to kiss you. You pulled away for air and pointed to the sky. He saw and smiled, doing the same. He did it for them. For Jules and Hervé.