POV: You Love Charles Leclerc

26. Regret

1739 words
This one is another request from inastan9 they have such amazing ideas, my writer's block could never 😂 Again, I loved writing this so thank you so much! Hope these have done your ideas justice 😁
I have used she/her pronouns in this one but obviously if you don't identify with those, you can still read, I'm just making you aware ☺️

As an Italian F1 driver, the Grand Prix in Italy was the most important to you. This weekend was Monza, the race you wanted to win the most. There was more pressure this weekend, you usually didn't feel it but your home fans going crazy for you (as the only Italian driver on the grid) hit different and the pressure was on. Your boyfriend of 2 years, Charles Leclerc, was also a driver on the grid. A Ferrari driver. And he was having a very good season. Of course, the fans went crazy for him too as Ferrari is an Italian team which you think got to him too as he had been acting weird all week. You guessed that you were acting weird to him too. You see, you had just found out you were pregnant at the start of this week but hadn't told Charles yet as it was only early and you needed to do another test to be sure. You didn't want him to be distracted for it to be nothing if the test was a false positive.
You were good with keeping your relationship and private life separate from your work life, so much so that you just looked like 2 drivers on the grid to most other people. You were an F1 driver, you wanted to beat everyone. That included your boyfriend. And you weren't sorry about it. He was the same to you- it was a mutual agreement but you were the most loving couple behind closed doors and off the track.
However, this weekend, Charles had been very distant. You supposed the pressure was more intense than usual because of the fans and him wanting to do well himself to prove the last races weren't flukes. You always supported him but you knew he needed space when he got like this so you were spending a lot more time with your best friend on the grid, Daniel Ricciardo. You went to him when the pressure got too much for you and you were panicking but also when you just needed someone to laugh with: it only took seconds for him to make you smile. After quali, you went to congratulate him on his P5 and celebrate your pole with him as Charles was upset with himself for only qualifying P6. You knew how much he wanted pole or to be at least on the front row so you decided to give him space to process it and to make sure he wouldn't say anything to anyone that he would later regret. You did some post-quali media and then joined Daniel where he was sitting on the pit wall to talk about everything you hadn't already- quali and just life in general. It wasn't long before you were practically crying from laughing so much. You had to hold his arm to stop you from falling over after he had said something about another driver that was so true it was hilarious. He was also holding you up as he was laughing at your struggle from laughing so much. Just as you looked up again after your laughing fit, you caught a glimpse of red in your garage. You knew it was Charles so you looked over but when you did, he was death staring you and Daniel before exiting the garage to go back to his own. Concerned, you told Daniel to wait a second and you followed him back to find him in his drivers room. "Hey." You knocked on the slightly open door. He looked up and it looks could kill, well, you'd be 6 feet under already. "I saw you a second ago, what's up?"
"Just go, Y/N." Was all he said, no emotion, no nothing.
"Please, baby. What's wrong?"
"Just go back to Daniel!" He shouted, making you step back in shock. He had never spoken to you like that before and you already hated it.
"What do you mean?" You asked, confused but angry that he would talk to you like that.
"You clearly want to be with him more than you want to be with me so just go! Go and support him, go with him back to his hotel and tell him how much you love him and how great he's going to do tomorrow like you never did for me!" There were tears tainting his vision but his tone was even and angry. It honestly scared you but your anger had already got the better of you. He was lying and you knew he knew, you did all of those things for him.
"You know that me and Daniel are just friends, Charles! You know! And yes, I've been focusing on myself more this weekend but don't. You. Dare accuse me of not supporting and loving you because that's all I do! But you know what? I will! I will go back to him because he's doing a better job of supporting me all weekend than you have! You know how much this weekend means to me!" You shouted back, tears streaming down your face, before storming out of the Ferrari hospitality and into your own drivers room where you put your headphones in, blasting your music.
That night you stayed with Daniel. He didn't need to ask what happened and you didn't tell him, he just supported you as you cried onto his shoulder, like any best friend would. He just held you as you questioned your relationship.
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The next day, race day, you were still thinking about Charles as you entered the paddock. You were still thinking about Charles as you prepared for the race. You were still thinking about Charles as you got in the car to start the race and you were still thinking about him when the lights went out. It was odd for you to not be 100% focused on the race ahead of you but concentrating right now felt impossible: you were pregnant with Charles' child and you had just had a big fight with him that had left you questioning your relationship, how could you focus?
Turn 1 was a close one, your teammate in P2 almost took you out but you were able to maintain the position. However, Turn 2 wasn't so lucky. You just hit the apex when you felt contact on your rear wing that sent you spinning off across the track, landing in the middle. You felt another contact in your other side as you were T-boned by another car. The adrenaline was pumping so you felt no pain but after a few minutes, it hit you. The pain was unbearable, it coursed through your body like a torpedo, ripping through anything in its path. That was the last thing you remembered before you blacked out.
Of course, the race was red flagged and all the drivers returned to the pits. No one knew anything, just who it was but the whole paddock was silenced. Charles didn't say anything to anyone as he ran to your car, only to be pushed back by stewards, surrounding the track. He fought against them but he couldn't get through them, eventually giving up and collapsing to the floor in defeat. He needed to be with you. He needed to know you were okay. He couldn't let you leave on that note. He was such an idiot!
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Charles never left your bedside for the week you were out. You were placed in an induced coma to allow your brain inflammation to die down for 3 days and since, you hadn't woken up. During this time, Charles was informed that you were pregnant and that the 3 week old foetus inside you had died on impact. Of course, he blamed himself for everything. He wasn't really religious but he begged God that you would be okay. The doctors didn't know if you would even survive, let alone the extent of your injuries when you woke up. It was just a waiting game.
Finally, on the 8th day, a miracle happened. You finally found the strength to fight against your own body shutting down to take a breath on your own. It felt like you had taken a breath after being suffocated for days, refreshing and relieving although it did make you cough from the tube that was in your throat. You wanted to pull it straight out but you couldn't move. Eventually, you felt someone relive that discomfort on your throat as they removed the tube. Then you were left alone. Or so you thought. You jumped slightly when you felt Charles grab your hand and speak to you. It shocked you so much that you opened your eyes, the blinding light streaming into your eyes. "Hey." You croaked, smiling at him. You remembered your fight but it seemed somewhat irrelevant now.
"Oh my god! Baby! I am so sorry! I love you so much!" Tears streamed out of his eyes in regret but also happiness that you were awake. He squeezed your hand so he wouldn't hurt you by hugging you and placed a kiss on your cheek.
"It's okay. I'm okay." You wheezed. Then you remembered. "Is Baby okay?" You assumed he knew already.
"I'm so sorry, ma cherie. It died in the crash. Why wouldn't you tell me you were pregnant!" Charles looked down, speaking quietly but sounding upset at the end.
"Oh. I'm sorry for not telling you. I was going to but I hadn't yet." Tears squeezed themselves out of your eyes. No, the baby wasn't planned but you really wanted it, you could've been a great mother and had an amazing family with Charles and now all of that was taken away. Charles wiped your tears as he leaned in to kiss you gently, also crying. "It's okay."
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You made a full recovery for almost a year now but hadn't yet gone back to racing despite it being the only thing you wanted to do. There was just one thing you had to do first. You had to deliver this baby. Yes, you were pregnant again. You and Charles had decided 6 months ago that you would try again as you both felt ready to start a family.
And you were. You were amazing parents to your beautiful baby girl who had mostly your face but Charles' beautiful eyes and smile. She was perfect. Everything was perfect. Finally.

A/N: Another long one, sorry... but I hope you still enjoyed! This was the last requested one so I have no more ideas. Basically, send me more because writer's block is real 😂
Remember, you are loved and strong and beautiful ❤️
-A