Rekindled | ✓

Chapter 8. Introspection

🎶 Dancing with your Ghost

Published on 08.10.2022

❝ never got the chance,
to say a last goodbye;
i gotta move on,
but it hurts to try. ❞

🥀

After reaching her house, after Maya opened the door, Inaaya shut it and slid against it. Maya walked forward, switching on the blue LED bulb without even noticing and started battering her with questions upon questions. It was when there was no response from Inaaya did she turn around and found her on the floor with her legs bent at the knees forward and arms hanging defeatedly upon them.

Maya rushed towards Inaaya and crouched down at her level. "What's wrong?"

Inaaya slowly looked up at her like a lost child. "What am I even doing?" She murmured brokenly. "What am I even doing Maya?" She asked helplessly in the faded glow.

Maya held her face gingerly. "Baby, what happened? Did Josh say something? Tell me."

Inaaya shook her head. "Ay— Ayansh." A sob left her throat. "He was there. Josh— Josh came to pick me up from the office right? He— he saw us. He came to know he's my boyfriend and then later when Josh and I were at the restaurant, he was present there." She swallowed. "Drunk. Drinking I don't know how many glasses of alcohol. I've never seen him like that." She chuckled sadly and ran her tongue over her lips. "But that wasn't the worst thing. The worst was what I did."

Maya frowned when Inaaya let out another painful laugh.

"I— I called Daniel and asked him to help Ayansh, to pick him up. Why did I even do that?" She cried out in frustration and Maya pulled her into a hug and rubbed her back. "And what that guy did? Made me feel as if I was the one because of whom he was suffering, as if I betrayed and wronged him and not the other way round. I hate him. I hate myself."

"Quiet. Quiet." Maya said softly, stroking her back and hair as Inaaya weeped. "Don't be so harsh on yourself. You did nothing wrong. This just means you're a good person."

"And look where that has gotten me?" Inaaya bit back, breaking the hug and taking in puffs of air inside her lungs."I was there with Josh. I was supposed to have a good time with him, feel the emotions that he felt towards me and not be worried and thinking about Ayansh all the time. What am I even doing Maya?"

Maya stayed silent, having no answer. She just stared back helplessly at Inaaya who sighed wearily.

"I should confront him, ask him why is he back, what does he want from me but what am I doing actually? I'm busy proving to y'all that I'm not affected by his presence." She laughed at herself. "I should hate him and I can't even do that. Why am I so weak?"

"You aren't, Ina." Maya whispered, folding her legs on the floor and taking Inaaya's hand in hers. You don't have to feel things a certain way and you definitely don't have to force yourself to match a certain set of expectations."

"I thought I was fine. I thought I've moved on then why all of a sudden do I feel as if I'm sucked back to where I was?" She wondered, staring at Maya with glassy eyes.

Maya exhaled. "Remember I said Akira is just looking out for you in her own way?" Inaaya nodded. "Because she already knew this would happen."

"What— what do you mean?" Her voice cracked.

"Stop looking for temporary escape because oneday it's going to disappear and you'll be left alone once again. Akira is worried about your attachment with Khushi and what will happen once she leaves your life. You do know Akira and Khushi will leave next year for India? What will you do after that?"