NO SHAME

X

We had stayed up until about five in the morning just talking about what was troubling me. Luke talked me through some things, and helped me realize just how much I had been wanting to break up with Jake.

    I awoke in the morning to my phone ringing, and I knew right away who it was. Luke and I were still on the couch, we had fallen asleep there and somehow in the process, I had ended up with my head in Luke's lap.

    I carefully lifted my head, trying not to wake up Luke, and answered my phone.

    "Hello," I whispered into the phone.

    "Get your ass home, right now," Jake growled.

    "Goodmorning, Jake, how'd you sleep?"

    "I'm not playing this game with you Aspen, get home."

    Jake hung up the phone and I sighed, setting my phone face down on the coffee table. I took a moment to look at Luke and take in his features. He looked so at peace for once, and not like he had to watch over his shoulder every three seconds.

    I gently brushed a few of his curls off of his forehead before shaking his arm gently to wake him up.

    "Luke," I quietly started, "Luke, wake up, we have to go."

    Luke stirred and opened his eyes, "Huh?"

    "Jake just called, we have to go now."

    Luke became more alert at the sound of my soon to be ex-boyfriends name, and nodded his head. We both got off the couch and I grabbed my phone to text Jake and tell him to give me a second to get some coffee and food and then I'd be on my way home.

    I let Luke grab some stuff for us to eat on the ride back to my apartment while I made coffee for the two of us. We were rushing, because we both knew the sooner we left, the sooner this nightmare would be over, but I also wanted to take my time and delay what was to come because I was scared.

    "Hey," Luke whispered as he grabbed my shaking hands. "It's all going to be ok. Just a little longer and you'll be done with him."

    I nodded my head, for fear that if I spoke I would break down. Luke stood there for a second longer before deciding that I was okay and that we could leave.

    The drive to my apartment was quiet, the only sounds being the music playing on the radio and Luke's car. My head was racing, and my hands were still shaking, but I knew I had to do this. Luke already promised that we would block him on everything as soon as we got back to his house, and that I would be safe at his house.

    As we pulled up to my apartment building, it all became so real. I realized that this would likely be the last time I set foot in that apartment, and the last time I saw Jake.

    "Are you ready?" Luke asked after parking his car.

    I nodded and we both got out of the car, and made our way up to the apartment.

    I stepped into the apartment to find that it had been totally trashed. There was stuff thrown all over the place, broken plates and picture frames, some of my personal belongings were broken, and actual trash littered the apartment.

    "What the fuck," Luke mumbled from behind me.

    "Jake?" I called out in response, anger evident in my voice.

    "In the kitchen," he called back.

    I led Luke to the kitchen and found Jake standing behind the counter waiting for me.

    "What the fuck is he doing here?" Jake asked angrily.

    "He drove me here," I informed Jake.

    "Did you stay with him last night?"

    "Yes."

    "Fucking whore."

    "Don't call her that," Luke said.

    "Don't fucking talk to me," Jake responded.

    "Jake," I started with a deep breath, "We need to break up."

    "The fuck?"

    "We. Need. To. Break. Up. I'm done with this."

    "It's because of him isn't it."

"No, Jake, it's because of you. You've done nothing but treat me like absolute shit for the last few weeks and I'm tired of it. I'm tired of being scared to go home to my own boyfriend. I'm tired of you acting like I'm cheating on you, even though you know it's all fake and I've told you multiple times that Luke has done nothing but respect my boundaries. We're done. I'm here to collect my things and then you are to never contact me again."

"Fuck you. I hope you have fun whoring around with the One Direction wannabes."

I rolled my eyes at Jake but ignored him, and left the room to go collect the remainder of my belongings. Luke followed me to my bedroom and helped me pack my things up into a few backpacks. Once we were ready, I took the apartment key off of my key ring and left it on the counter for Jake, who had already left, presumably to go get shit faced or something.

"How do you feel?" Luke asked on the car ride back to his house.

"Honestly, I feel amazing," I laughed. I felt like 1000 pounds had just been lifted off my shoulders. I felt so, so relieved.

Luke smiled at me and reached over to grab my hand, giving it a squeeze.

"I'm proud of you," he told me.

"I'm glad you were there," I said to him.

Luke squeezed my hand again.

"I'll always be here for you."