Teardrops Of Justice (Under PIP Collab) ✔️

10

"Hindi ka ba nagsasawa sa ice-cream?" he asked while watching me eating my chocolate flavor ice cream. 

I smiled widely. "Our comfort food,"

Hindi ko alam kung darating pa ang araw na magsasawa ako dito. 

He grinned as we continue eating our ice cream. Nang bumaling ako sa kanya ay nahalata ko ang biglang paglungkot ng kanyang mga mata. He seems bothered for something and it kinda makes me sad. Ayaw ko siya nalulungkot o nakikitang nahihirapan. I want him to be my Percival who gives me happiness and freedom to escape from my agony.

Siniko ko siya at ang kanyang singkit at mapupungay na mga mata ay sinalubong ang aking pangamba.

"I'm okay," sabi niya na parang alam na niya ang itatanong ko.

"I know you're not okay. I've been there and I know the feeling. Let's make a promise, na kapag kasama natin ang isa't isa ay hindi natin kailangan magkunwari. We will be each other's open diary as we escape in every painful chapter,"

Siguro nasabi ko na ito, hindi natin kailangan naman talaga ng sobrang rami na tao sa ating paligid, we just need a one person who can asked you if you're okay, to listen to your rants and hold your hand in every joy trip that the life can offer. Kahit isang tao lang na sasama sa atin sa bawat masasakit na kabanata at sa bawat tagumpay. We all deserve that kind of person and I'm still holding the hope, that despite of how wounded I am - I still deserve that kind of person.

"Siguro, kinakabahan. What if I fail to be a doctor, will you still be proud of me?" ang mga mata niya ay punong-puno ng pagdududa. 

"Lagi naman, eh."

He smiled in relieve. "Thank you for accepting me,"

Pero hindi ba ako dapat ang magsabi niyan. He accepted me knowing the fact that I'm not mentally okay, after witnessing my trauma and panic attacked, and still rooting for me.

Bigla siyang tumayo habang pinapagpag ang kanyang damit. "Then allow me to escape you, again. I want you to witness the beauty of this world, and experience every kind of happiness that the world can offer. I want to be there and witness how you chase your own healing." he offered me his hand and I happily accept it.

I am no risk taker, but you made me want to become one.

Ang bawat daan na tinatahak namin ay mas nagiging pamilyar and we stopped from running when we reached our destination - the hidden children's play ground.

Iilan lang ang nakaka-alam sa tagong palaruan ng aming Unibersidad. Dahil matatanda na ang nag-aaral dito ay hindi na ito binibisita. And I'm kinda confused how he find out this place.

"Paano mo ito alam?" I asked, doubtfully.

He smirked and gently looking at me. "I'm your Senior. I just graduated last year and valedictorian," a glimpse of arrogance evident in his voice.

"Wow, Doc. Parang bigla ka yumabang." pabiro ko siyang tinulak.

I went to the swing and sit down.

Tulad ko ay umupo din siya habang nakatingala sa bughaw na kalangitan.

"I never had my childhood. I was too busy chasing the teardrops of Justice and never enjoyed my childhood," I stated with bitterness.

Its been a while but the pain was still too deep for me to handle. Marami sa akin ang pinagkait. Marami sa akin nilayo at marami ako pinaglagpas na kasiyahan.

Masinsinan niya akong tinititigan habang may lungkot sa kanyang mga mata. "On the other hand, I have a lot of chance to enjoy my childhood but I spent my life reading law books and serving our hospital. So, I guess let's enjoy our childhood even its too late."

Tumango ako habang tiningala ang bughaw na kalangitan.

"Why it should need to be unfair?" I asked while starring the vast sky.

Nagkibit-balikat siya habang nagbuntong-hinga. "Maybe it supposed to be unfair so we can grow as individual. Baka kapag naging unfair ang mundo doon lang natin makikita ang halaga ng malilit na bagay at maging matapang. It takes wounds to be healed. And it takes great agony to be brave enough to fight for our existence."

"Pero hindi ko hiningi sa kanya na mabuhay. Hindi ko hiningi sa kanya na buhayin ako kung ganito lang kasakit ang buhay. I never asked and begged him. What the use of living if it means putting yourself in pain?" nanghihina kong tanong.

"Maybe because he wants you to find your own happiness, to find the reason why you're still. Kapag nakita mo at natuklasan ang kasiyahan sa dalawa mong mga mata, lahat ng sakit at paghihirap ay magiging worth it," he said in a low voice.

He stand up. Unti-unti siya sa akin lumapit at umupo muli para magpantay ang aming mga mukha.

"Please, fight for your own life. Someone out there is thankful that you exist. That you inspired them to ba happy and live, too." puno ng pagkamangha at paki-usap ang kanyang tinig. He hugged me tightly like he's afraid to lose me.

At ito ang unang beses na nararamdaman ko na mahalaga din ang buhay ko. Because some is afraid to lose me ane my life was too precious to end.

Semicolon.

I rested my head on his shoulder. Pagkatapos ng mahabang pakikibaka, ng mahabang laban na walang pahinga, na puro sugal at sakit, sa unang beses na taguan ko ang aking pahinga.

"Rest, love. You're a good fighter and you will always be. I'm proud of you," he gently said.

My phone beeped. Umalis muna ako sa kanya upang tingnan ang aking cellphone. Tumayo ako para kumpirmahin ito.

Its from my handler, and it says I'm having my own book signing as children book literature. Agad akong nagtatalon sa tuwa.

Ang kanyang singkit na mga mata ay punong-puno ng pagtataka. I went to him and hugged him.

"I'm having my book signing as novelist!" masaya kong balita.

Maramdaman ko ang pagyakap niya pabalik. "You made it, love. And I will always be your number one fan," he proudly said as he kissed my forehead.

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Ps: I know some of you got disappointed and I didn't reach your own expectations. But I want to write this as green flag. As someone who is willing to give everything for love because we deserve to be loved like we always dream of. And some lines here are true. I'm writing this while battling my suicidal thoughts. So, let me express those painful lines.