Teardrops Of Justice (Under PIP Collab) ✔️

Epilogue

She is wounded that is for sure.

A little girl who faces the cruelty of the world, a grown-up lady who have wounded inner child and a woman who fought so hard to get her own healing. Her journey is not easy, she got ruined but bravely introduced herself again in the crowd despite her severe wounds. Ang tapang niya, sobra. Hindi lahat ng tao may kakayahan ayusin ang sarili nila pagkatapos ng unos, hindi lahat ng nasaktan ay may lakas ng loob upang hanapin ang kanilang paghilom. She is too brave to find a hope behind her trauma and to risk for love no matter how many times the world betrayed her. 

Tang'ina, mahal ko na siya. Aalagaan at poprotektahan laban sa mundo. She makes me believe in hope, she makes me believe in love, and everyone can heal despite their wounded soul. Minahal ko siya higit pa sa kakayahan kong magmahal.

"Percival, ayos ka lang ba?" nag-aalalang tanong ng isang psychologist.

My mother died in my birthday, in order to ovecome the self-blame and the great agony, I attempted to kill my own life. To hurt myself and to punish myself. The pain was addicting. It slowly killed me and hate my existence.

"Yes." I answered but the truth is - I never been okay. Walang araw na hiniling ko na sana ako na lang ang namatay, na sana may nagawa ako para maligtas siya at sana naging mabuting anak ako bago siya mawala. The 'what ifs' are too heavy for me to handle.

"If you need to talk, I'm here and I'll listen," she assured me.

Pero agad naman ako umiling. "Tell him that I will try to live and still inherent his hospital. Hindi ko kailangan ng Ama na ang iniisip lang ang magiging kalagayan ng hospital niya kaysa sa mental health ng anak niya," I left.

My mother died while battling her depression. She died having her mental breakdown and no was there to tell her how beautiful and worth it she is. Depression is not illusion. It is existing and it can kill us. Nakakatakot ito dahil wala siyang pinipiling edad, kasarian, at lugar.

Balak ko na umuwi ng may nakita akong isang batang babae na isang taon lang ang tanda ko. Nag-iisa habang nagsusulat sa kanyang papel. Umupo ako sa tabi niya. 

"Ang lungkot ng mga mata mo," pansin ko.

Patuloy siya sa kanyang pagsusulat ng kwento sa kanyang papel.

"Ang lungkot ng boses mo," pansin niya.

A soft laughed escaped in my mouth.

"We are here for a reason," I was referring the Mental Institution.

"Edi, lahat pala tayo andito, we are the generation who are pro of changing mask just to avoid depression." she sarcastic laughed.

Patuloy parin siya sa kanyang pagsusulat. Napansin ko ang mga pasa niya sa katawan at doon ko na napansin kung gaano kalalim ng sugat. 

She hurt herself for a reason. That maybe she hurt herself to tell the world that no one can be able to hurt her because she's already wounded. Too broken that she's having hard time to fix and heal herself.

"We have a different story - story of failure, grieving, agony, hope or tragedy and no matter what is the ending we chose is valid. Tao ka na nasasaktan at nadudurog pero hindi ibig sabihin 'nun ay doon na matatapos ang kwento mo. Fight for own life. Lumaban ka para sa sarili mo, you deserve the ending you dream of and be your own hope. Masakit, oo pero doon naman tayo natututo 'di ba? You are here because you supposed to find something and it'a your responsibility to find it," she seriously said without looking at me.

Wala sabi siyang umalis na hindi man lang ako tinitingnan.

Mag-aabogado dapat ako pero dahil sa kanya mas minahal ko ang propesyon ko. I want to study human's mental health because I know how risky it is.