Piece of Your Heart

12. Burden

I didn't know how to do it. I couldn't send a text message because he meant more then a explanation through text. I couldn't do it in person because.. I couldn't bear to look him in the eyes and say that what we have is over. That two years of our relationship is over. Two years with someone I love is over. The more I thought of Shawn and I breaking up the more I started to shut him out.

I stopped texting him. Only texted when he started the conversation. Started hanging out with the girls more often. Canceled on dates that he set up. We hung out less and less. It soon ended up with we only saw each other at school and when we hung with the others.

Last night Shawn called me.

"Hey." He said.

"Hi." I responded. Then it was quite. It wasn't our comfortable silence anymore instead it was replaced with a awkward.

"What's been going on lately?" He asked. It wasn't asked in a causally tone.

"With what." I needed time to think. I don't know how to explain it.

"You know exactly what I'm talking about." He said a little harshly.

"Oh I've just been spending more time with friends. Is that a problem?" I responded back matching his tone.

"No. It's just feels like there's more to it then you're letting on." He simply stated.

"Oh, well I got to go to bed." I said hurriedly. I looked over at the time it was only 7pm on a Sunday night.

Shawn had to of checked too. "Okay." he said.

He hung up without saying goodbye.

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"Come on Kayla." Jessica yelled from her backyard. Tonight we were having a bonfire. It was only a few weeks after Shawn kissed me. Jessica's mom had bought her a box of cards with a bunch of questions on getting to know someone.

We were bored and decided to use it. The boys didn't want to answer the questions so, they just sat around us listening. Jessica picked a card.

"If you could move anywhere in the world where would you move and why?"

"I would move to Dubai because of the architect." Mallory answered because we were playing where you asked the person to the right of you.

Mallory picked the next card. "If you could kiss one celebrity who would it be?"

"Easy. Niall Horan." Jenna had a liking for One Direction so, it wasn't much of a surprise. It was now my turn to be asked.

"Do you believe in long distance relationships? Why or Why not." Jenna asked.

"No." I said very sure of myself. "It doesn't work out. There are those rare occasions where it works out for people, but I don't think I can manage a relationship where you are many miles from them. I don't want the nagging thoughts of cheating being in my head. I would end it. If it was mean't to be then things will fall in place, but personally no."

Everyone was quite. I couldn't bear the silence so, I picked up and a card. "Best vacation you ever took?" I asked Hannah and all was forgotten.

-------------------------------------------------

I woke up the next morning grumpy. I missed my alarm clock so, I only had 30 minutes to get to school. I just knew today was going to be a bad day. I got dressed and ran to my car. As I got to the group the 5 minute bell warning bell rang.

"Wow Kayla. You looked like you had a rough night." Jessica said as I reached her.

"Yeah. For someone that went to bed at 7." Shawn mumbled under his breath as he walked away with Mallory to their first hour. I stared daggers into his back.

"If looks could kill." Jessica said letting out a low whistle.

By the time 6th hour came I felt a little better. I had Jenna and Shawn sixth hour. 6th hour happened to be English and we don't do much in that class.

"To end class today. We are going to talk about relationships." Mr. Matthews started. It's going to be a open class discussion. So, What makes a relationship a.. relationship."

"Intimacy." someone from the back said.

"No shit." Jenna giggled next to me. I shifted uncomfortably.

"Communication." Shawn said focusing on his pencil.

"Elaborate." Mr. Matthews said.

"Well like talking. I don't mean texting or talking on the phone everyday. I mean being on the same page as the other person. You can't have someone wanting to explore the galaxy while the other is good with just looking a pictures of it."

"What if the other person doesn't know how to talk about whatever the other person wants?" I muttered.

"Well I can start off by saying that not saying anything sends a pretty clear message." He said harshly.

"But what if what the person is doing is to help themselves? They are their own person." I pointed out.

"They should think about the other person. It's not just them in the relationship it's another person as well. The other person in the relationship will feel what the person feels and think if they communicated. They can't expect the other person to understand something if the other person is going to shut them out for 3 months." He had finished. The tension in the room grew.

"3 months isn't a long time." I looked him in the eye.

"Neither is two years." He snapped back. Everyone was silent. He looked ticked off. This was definitely not about the question anymore. "If those people can't communicate, Maybe they can't handle a relationship with each other."

"Maybe those people should just end it." I said softly still keeping his gaze.

Shawn paused before he spoke. "Maybe they should." With that the bell rang.

Ending class.

Ending the school day.

Ending our relationship.

I'm sorry guys.

-A