Piece of Your Heart

16. Midtown

Put this song on repeat:
Bastille - Oblivion

She stared at me. Her nose and eyes were red. She didn't reach for me either. I didn't know what to say. I thought for sure that I would know what to say by the time I got to her front door, but I was speechless because here she was in front of me in an airport. It must of been a lifetime.

"What are you doing here?" I finally asked. She blinked at me like she didn't know what I was referring to.

"I don't know." She finally said.

"How have you been?" She squinted her eyes. I don't know if it was to keep herself from crying or if she was utterly confused.

"I've been..." She broke eye contact with me and wiped a tear quickly from her face. Her hands were shaking.

"Derek!" Screamed a lady few feet from us. "I missed you so much." We both turned to look.

"I missed you too baby." Said a man, who I assumed was Derek. He wrapped her in his arms and gave her a kiss.

It wasn't fair. That should of been us.

".... Better." She finished turning away from the couple. Something was off about her.

"Kayla, are you okay?" I said reaching for her hand. She yanked it back as if pulling away from a hot stove.

"I don't know.. It's just.. This was a mistake." She finally said. With that she turned around and walked away. She didn't go out the doors or head towards the parking area. Instead she headed for the airport transit.

I followed behind her shoving people in the process. By the time I reached the platform she was already gone. I went into the first cart I saw. I thought back to what she told me about 2 years and how she like trains. [Chapter 5]

I pushed my way to the last cart. It was less crowded then the first few. I found Kayla. She was in the last row of seats with her head against the window staring out the window at nothing in particular.

I slowly made my way to her seat. I slid down next to her. I leaned onto my thighs, looking down at my clasped hands hanging between my knees. She didn't even flinch when I sat.

We stayed quite. Her phone went off a few times, but she didn't answer it. All she did was stare. I wanted to know so badly what was going on in her thoughts.

We reached midtown which felt like hours later. She then got up and squeezed past me. Not even glancing at me.

I followed behind her off the train, at a safe distance, and into a nearby Coffee shop a few streets down. She grabbed table near the back.

I sat down across from her. A waitress came to us and asked what we wanted.

"It's raining cats and dogs out there." She said pulling out her notebook. I hadn't even noticed.

"Uh, two cups of hot chocolate please." Kayla hated coffee. She also hated the rain, but here we were.

After a few minutes the waitress, Judy, came and set the cups in front of us.

"On the house." Judy said casting a glance at Kayla.

"My car is at the airport." She said after Judy left. Her voice was raspy. "The next train will be here in 20 minutes."

I nodded. "Okay." She started to relax. I didn't want to say anything that would make her shut me out again.

"Have you been looking at colleges?" I asked causally.

"Yeah, a few." She took a sip of her hot coco, going along with the small talk. "Do you plan on going to college?"

"I think I might ride this music thing out and see where it takes me." I said taking a sip as well. She nodded. We fell into an uncomfortable silence again.

"Do you want to talk about what happened?" I asked cautiously. Bad move. Her face scrunched up with pain. Kayla always told me she did this when she didn't want to cry. She quickly grabbed her stuff and ran into the pouring ran. I followed closely behind her.

"Why do you keep running away from me!" I shouted at her. She stopped and turned around. We were a good 15 feet from each other and the rain wasn't helping us hear.

"I'm not." She shouted back.

"Then what are you doing now!" She didn't answered I walked towards her until I was a step in front of her. "Tell me Kayla. What are you so afraid of?"

"You. Us. Everything." She whispered.

"What do you mean?" I didn't understand what she was saying and she must of sensed it.

"I'm tired of crying over you for the past few months!" She suddenly yelled. She pushed hard against my chest and I stumbled backwards. "I'm tired of seeing couples everywhere I go knowing that, that might never be us again." She pushed again. "I'm tired of trying to get over you, but failing. Thinking about what you're life is like now that I'm not in it. Gosh, Shawn. YOU WERE MY PERSON." She started pounding on my chest repeatedly, shouting over and over again. I couldn't stop thinking about how I failed.

I grabbed her wrists and drew her close. She tried to pull away, but I didn't let her. She stopped shouting after a while. We started rocking side to side.

"I'm scared Shawn." Her voice cracked. "I'm scared that because I love you, I won't be able to let you go no matter how much I know I should. I'm scared because I think that you'll stop loving me and I-I... I don't know if I can live with that."

"I'm sorry," I pushed her back so I could look her in the eyes. "For all the times I was supposed to be there, but wasn't."

She kept looking me in the eye and then started laughing. The sad laugh you make when you're crying.

"What's so funny?" I asked letting out an queasy laugh.

"I'm in midtown. In the pouring. My phone is dead and my parents are probably going to ground me for the rest of my life because I was about to pay $300 for a ticket to Toronto, to see a kid I'm in love with. The best part is we missed the train that was supposed to bring us back to the airport to my car. Which parking meter is expired and should be getting towed right about now. " She lets out another laugh. Her voice started to quiver. "I'm just waiting for the part when I wake up and realize it was just a bad dream."

"Do you really find this funny?" I asked. I had to fill up the silence that followed.

"No, but it sure beats crying." She said looking down at the ground and letting out a little chuckle.

Standing there in the rain she looked very innocent and I realized that I caused her this pain.

"Until." I started. Her eyes snapped back up to meet mine. I pulled out the guitar pick, that was wrapped around my neck by a string. I glanced down a it. "I remember the time you have gave me this and I spent months trying to figure out what it meant. It probably means something different then what it should of been, but I think.." I paused nodding at it. "I think I get it now. It's until the 'until we meet next time.' That we see the pressure that has been brought on us. But, it's also in that same moment that we see the suffering and the love. I used to tell you this every single night and I still whisper it before I go to bed, but I love you Kayla. Nothing in the world compares to how sorry I am. I should of came sooner, but I didn't and I'm sorry."

She took a step closer to me. I grabbed her waist and leaned down to meet her lips. She ran her hands through my wet hair pulling me closer and in the moment, I swear we were the only two people in the world.

I couldn't stand them being broken up.
-A