Chapter Thirty Eight

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People say that when you die you can see your whole life flash before your eyes but I didn't really see that. I saw Luke, maybe that meant he was my life now.
Whatever it meant, when my head connected with the cement floor I saw nothing, I saw black.
It was dark for a few seconds, all the pain was gone and for a moment I finally felt at peace.

Slowly light started to trickle in and I was surrounded by pinks and blues, reds and oranges, purples and greens. The colours danced across my eyes as I stared mystified around me.

Then the ground started to sprout up with thick grass that went to my ankle. A small white shed appeared, thin vines trailing up the sides of the walls blending into the roof in a deep mossy canopy. Flowers parted themselves around idly in the green, their leaves twirling into the moss, making themselves become one with it.

A door appeared in the middle of the shed with a brass knob, one that I could see myself in.
My left hand -free of a cast- reached out and grabbed it and I pulled the door opened looking in curiously. I already knew what I would see before I even entered this familiar, long forgotten room.

And there she was, sitting on the four legged rocking chair in the corner of the room, book held in her small hands. Her bright wondering eyes held raptly in the book and her lips pursed into that all to familiar thoughtful look. Her cheeks glowed with life and my heart seemed to flutter in my chest.

"Mum?" I called, my voice shaky and unsure. She looked up at me then with a grin on her face and closing the book with an audible thud she set it down on the night stand beside her.

It hurt to see her after so long and I wanted to run into her arms. But I was scared I might ruin the perfect scene if I did. That if I did try to hug her she would disappear like a mirage and I would never get this chance again.

"It took you long enough." She joked lightly and I almost fell to my knees at the sound of her lovely voice.

If this was a dream I would never want to wake up from it.
I finally felt right, like I belonged somewhere. That aching feeling in my chest seemed to disappear when I seen her and I never wanted it to come back.

"Mum?" I questioned again not letting myself believe that she was right here, beautiful and glowing in front of my very eyes.

She gave me a sweet smile and let out a soft sigh. Pulling herself up from the chair, she rubbed the crinkles from her long ankle length white dress. Her hair flowed out around her as she did so falling to the small of her back in tight curls and down her shoulders.

"Of course it's me baby girl, who else would it be?" She questioned lightly taking a few steps towards me. She was still as graceful as I remembered, light on her feet and with a reposed manner.

She batted her long dark eyelashes at me as she held out her hand for me to grab but I resisted the temptation. She frowned at this and I quickly explained myself so she wouldn't be hurt.

"I just don't want to touch your hand and you disappear or to touch your hand and get attached only to wake up."
She nodded in understanding and rested her hands down in front of her body clasped together.

"We don't have long, maybe five minutes before you have to go back." She said, it sounded like she was talking to herself but I wasn't sure.

"Go back? But I don't want to go back." I shook my head worriedly biting at the inside of my cheek.

I just got her back and I didn't want to lose her already. She saw how distressed I was and moved her hand to cup my cheek; it was soft and surprisingly warm against my skin.

I couldn't help but nuzzle my head into her opened palm.
I could smell jasmine and rosemary filling the room and knew it as her scent. I breathed it in wishing to take it from the room and carry it around with me.

"I know it's hard sweety, I know, I really do. I wish you could stay with me too but you have people that care about you. You have to be there for your father, make sure he's taken care of, and that Luke boy loves you and would be broken without you.

"You can't just leave them when they need you more then ever. You have to be my strong young lady and fight these battles, battles that only you can fight." She told me knowingly and I could see her evading the topic of Aaron.

I didn't think much of it, we only had a few minutes and we wanted to talk about more then just what was happening at the moment. I knew I had years worth of questions about to spill out of my mouth but I could only ask the most important ones.

"Why didn't you come back?" I asked her searching her bright brown eyes. She looked down saddened before looking back at me with glossy eyes.

"It was my time to leave. Sometimes people are not meant for life and sometimes people are. You are that special case; you have a purpose in life but you just don't know it yet. I lived my life happily Nexia, I had you and I had your father, that was enough and it was just my time to go. That was why you didn't die in the care accident. You were not meant to die." She told me thoughtful.

That answered my next question.
I couldn't help but look at my mother, truly look at her. After years of only seeing pictures it was a relief to see her face to face even if it was only a blissful dream.

"I just don't know what I'm suppose to do mum. I have run out of options. I think I love Luke but I care for Aaron immensely. Then there is dad and the robot.." I trailed off.

Something flashed in her eyes, what looked like sympathy before it quickly disappeared.
"Aaron has a path in life, a choice that is already predetermined. He has a purpose that is greater than most. Just know that he will do anything for you Nexia. He is a great friend and you will never have a better friend. You and Luke will have ups and downs but you guys are meant to be. Your dad. Well he's another matter. He just wants the best for you, he's scared of you getting hurt. You're his daughter and he loves you very much, what he does is out of love, remember that."

I knew she was right, dad had told me she was always right, that she was full of wisdom.
I could see my surroundings beginning to blur and it was like we both knew what was happening.

"It's time." She voiced what I was thinking and I nodded sadly not liking it.

"I love you sweety. You have grown into such a beautiful, strong women and I know you can beat anything, you just have to believe you can." She told me pulling me into her strong embrace. Her arms wrapping around my body, ever so carefully, before she pulled back to kiss me on the cheek.

"I love you mum." I told her trying to hold back the tears that I knew were about to spill from my eyes.

"Perpetually." She reminded me before she started to go in and out of focus.

I felt her hands leave my body, the familiar smell of her gone, and I felt cold. All the colours had vanished and I was left in the dark again, pain all over.

Okay... So I didn't really know what this was exactly but it seemed to fit the story line and it will help her carry on with what is to come. Vote, comment, follow.

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