Taetum's Muse

Chapter 7

Keelan's P.O.V.

By this morning, which is Friday, I am exhausted between school, homework, and work. I have stayed up late the last three nights working on homework assignments and projects until 2 a.m. each night. Dad is not aware of this because the first two late nights did not fully affect me, but I am exhausted this morning. I have been up since 6 a.m., and I am not used to getting less than seven hours of sleep a night.

Stumbling into the kitchen to make a pot of coffee, and as I pour myself a cup with creamer as dad and Kenley enter the kitchen. Dad silently watches me with an unreadable expression as I turn away from the coffee pot with a raised left eyebrow at him in silent question.

"What time did you go to bed last night, and the two nights prior?" dad finally asks as he walks to the coffee pot to pour himself a cup.

"Um, 2 a.m.," I mumble, avoiding his gaze since I know he will not be happy with my answer.

Dad is big on Kenley and I getting enough sleep every night since we are still growing, and to properly learn and function the next day. Dad lets out a long, quiet sigh, and this makes my guilt grow even more for upsetting him. I hate disappointing dad, Kenley, Emmett, and dad's parents (my grandpa's). Tightly gripping my coffee mug in both hands to warm my now cold and slightly shaky hands.

"Hey, hey, I am not mad at you," dad quickly assures as he gently holds my hands and cup between his much larger ones to steady mine. "Keelan, look at me, bub."

Bringing my eyes to his slowly, I see the worry in his blue eyes as he gives me a tiny smile; "I am not mad. I just want you to have enough sleep since you are still growing. You need to be well rested to learn and develop correctly. Why were you up so late the last three nights?"

Sighing softly at him as my hands calm slightly as I honestly answer; "I had to finish several homework assignments and projects that are due today."

Dad lightly squeezes my hands before removing his hands to his sides as he answers; "Okay. Why are these projects taking you so long to complete?"

"I am, was trying to make sure the projects were perfect," I mumble as I drop my eyes down to my mug, and take a sip.

"Keelan," dad sighs without saying anything more as he starts making oatmeal and toast for breakfast for the three of us.

"I am sorry," I whine, sitting my mug on the counter by the coffee maker to grab out bowls, small plates, spoons, and butter knives.

"I am positive your projects were perfect as they were, so you did not need to stay up late," dad says, pouring the oats into the boiling water, and turns off the burner.

I decide not to say anything because he is correct in my need to have everything perfect. My therapist says I am this way because of my birth family, and the trauma I had from my childhood. Eh, I am sure the therapist is right about their thoughts since they went to university for this, but I am not sure if I agree with the assessment.

Dad spoons oatmeal in the bowls as I butter the toast, placing these on the small plates, and each has two. Kenley takes a bowl with a spoon, and a plate to the table to start eating. Dad and I each grab our bowl and plate to the table, too, and start eating with Kenley.

"Would cutting your work hours help with your homework load?" dad gently asks, but I instantly become teary eyed.

I cannot form words to answer dad around my tight throat as I know I have screwed up yet again.

Softly sniffling as I manage to tearfully answer him; "I dunno, it's up to you."

"May I be excused to get ready for school?" I murmur, trying not to answer in front of dad and Kenley, and when dad does not answer my initial answer.

"Kee," dad starts, but I do not wait for him to continue as I instantly surge to my feet, and leave the room for my bedroom.

I feel as if I am a disappointment to dad as I rush to the bathroom to expel the entire contents of my stomach into the toilet. I sob the entire time I am vomiting, and dry heaving.

"Keelan, you are not disappointing me," dad's voice suddenly says from my left which is closest to the bathroom door. "I just wanted to give you an out, so you have time to get your school work done at a decent time. It isn't that I do not want you at work like you are."

I finally stop dry heaving a few minutes later, and I am still sobbing as I flush the toilet before heavily sitting on my ass with my back against the tub of the shower.

"I constantly fuck up, and cannot even do simple things right!" I sob while bringing my knees to my chest, and wrap my arms around my knees as I bury my face into my arms. "I hate disappointing you, and that is all I seem to do!"

Dad remains silent as he stands to grab a wash cloth from the cupboard, getting it wet before I feel him next to me again. He gently lifts my head with a sad expression as he carefully washes my face free of the tears, sweat, and a little bit of vomit that I did not notice.

"You do not disappoint me," he murmurs, looking me intently in the eyes. "You will never be disappointed unless you kill someone for no good reason."

I just silently stare at him, so he asks; "How about I pick you up from school at lunch time, and we have lunch at your favorite place. Then we come home early, and yes, Emmett can still come over tonight before you ask."

Slowly nodding in agreement, we stand to finish getting ready for the day, and then the three of us leave.