𝙻𝙾𝚅𝙴 𝙰𝚃 𝙵𝙸𝚁𝚂𝚃 𝚂𝙸𝙶𝙷𝚃 ☆♥︎𝐙𝐍𝐍 𝐅𝐀𝐍𝐅𝐈𝐂☆♥︎

"★ 𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐏𝐓𝐄𝐑 23 ★"

I hope it's all just a dream, I tried to love but I got hurt again, I tried to trust but I failed. Why is all this happening, why am I always in pain?

Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh, I screamed on top of my lung, no matter what I do, the pain in my heart won't go away, my heart was so broken when I found out the truth, I thought I would be happy with zee but this truth came out, I thought it was possible for me to forget everything, but my world collapsed again, why, with so many people in the world why them, why the person who became close to me. I wanted to laughed myself for hoping the most Impossible thing. I sipped a bottle of wine again, it's been three days since I found out the truth, I'm not surprised that I'm not his son, because I don't want him to be my father either, he is worse than the devil, I pushed the table where the picture of me and zee was and the picture of me and nat with Max.

You're all liars, how can you all do this to me, why, why!! I shouted as I smashed the base next to me, nothing is as painful as what I feel right now, my world is falling apart, I don't know what to do, betrayals and the pain prevailed in my heart, I don't know where to blame everything, Should I blamed them or myself, Should I blamed myself for trusting them, more than that, I loved him, I loved the person who caused the destruction of my world, I was too stupid, too stupid to believe what they says.

Nuw, open the door, it's me James; I cried softly here inside my condo, I hate them, I hate him, I hate myself even more, why did I love the person who is the son of the devil, how did I learn to love someone like them.

GO AWAY, I DON'T NEED YOU; I screamed at him, my voice broke but I no longer care, My heart is breaking little by little, I don't know how long my hands will hold, I tried to find myself but they broke my heart too much, they destroyed my world to the point I can't find myself, it's hurts so much, I wish I had died, I wish I hadn't met them all.

I know that you have a problem nuw, I'm here, I'm here by your side, I'm just here and I won't leave you; I covered my ears, I'm tired of promises, I'm tired of listening and trying, I'm tired of being hurt.

Please James, leave me alone, I'm too tired of being hurt, I'm tired of trusting people, I'm tired of promises, I'm so tired, leave me alone, please; The tears don't stop falling from my eyes, he knows I'm crying because my voice is broke, but I can't stop what I feel, I can't stop the pain, I feel like a million needles are piercing my heart.

OK! I won't talk anymore, I'm just here, ready to listen to everything you have to say, Nunew don't forget that I'm also your friend; I put my heads on my knees, no matter what I do I can't open my heart to accept everything, I don't want to see anyone, especially the people who caused everything, above all I can't forgive them.

                      (“ NAT POV ”)

I locked myself in my room, I don't speak to them, I was hurt, I felt that my sin against him was huge, I was with him almost every day, I could see his suffering, I didn't think that it was because of my father, the father I respect more than anyone else, the father I thought was a very good person.

Nat, son this is mom, opened the door; I covered my ears, I didn't want to hear them talk, I don't know what to do now, I don't know what to feel, I felt betrayed by my own father, I feel like I cheated him. I feel that, I myself brought him to that situation, it is very painful, it is very painful to know that your father did that to someone close to me, my father did that to my friend, my friend that he consider a son, how could he just look at aunt while his friend raped her, he also has a wife and son, above all, how could he show all that to Nunew, I don't know why he did such thing to them, how could he. I can't believe this, I can't accept the fact that my respectful father is such a horrible person.

Please mom, I want to be alone; I say to her, it's been three days since I locked myself in this room, it's been three days since I didn't talk to max, I can't forgive him for hiding this to me, I can't even forgive myself, My father did that terrible thing to my friend's mother, His mom who became my Second Mother, She did nothing wrong towards me and out family,  she loved me like his own child, I can't believe that my father did that but the truth is here in front of us. I heard the door opened, I just lay down to my bed and didn't to turn around.

Nat's son; I cried softly when I heard mom's voice, I know that she didn't know what happened either.

Mom please; I said weakly, she came and sat next to me.

I know that it hurts, because even I, I am hurt by what happened, but son, you need to hear your dad's explanation, he has a big reason for agreeing to what your uncle Phaibun said; I shook my head, wiping my tears again.

No matter what his explanation mom, that can't change the fact that he do such thing to aunty, to my brother; My tears continued to flow, she made me face her, she wiped my tears and smiled sadly at me.

Nat, if you hurt by what happened, it hurts me even more, because in my heart, I treat Nunew as my own son, but Nat, you should be strong for him, I know that this hurts him so much, he needs someone to lean on in times like this; She held her heart, I saw tears in her eyes.

How? How can I face him after all if this happened, I can't mom, I will hurt him again if I appeared Infront of him, the pain we caused him is enough for me to hate myself for the rest of my life mom, I can't bear to see him hurt more because of me, because of us mom, I can't do this anymore, I'm a terrible friend; She hugged me and my tears started to fall again, all those years, all his pain, suffering and nightmare was cause by my own father, I hate myself for not knowing the truth earlier, I hate myself for hurting him. After all that happened, What face will I present to him, after all the truth, what right do I have to appeared Infront him, he will only be hurt more when he sees me. I can't forgive myself for hurting him, I can't forgive my father for hurting him.