clementine // joshler

49

josh's point of view

"you what?!"

"i'm sorry! it was an accident! i figured you would've told him already," hayley apologizes for the third time since i picked up the phone.

i'm pacing around my apartment, my heart beating fast. "oh my god."

in the background, i hear taylor say, "if it makes you feel any better, he implied he feels the same way."

this stops me in my place.

"he did?"

"duh. dude, you two are so oblivious," hayley answers.

"well, i'm seeing him tomorrow after school, so i guess i'll let you both know how that conversation goes." i sigh, sitting down on my couch and running my hand down my face.

"it'll go great, j. don't stress."

"i'll try not to."

we hang up shortly after that and i get ready for bed, my brain buzzing in my head with too many different thoughts.

when i lie down for the night, i decide to text tyler before i go to sleep.

josh: are we still good to hang out tomorrow?

tyler: mhm! just let me know when you get home and i'll come over :)

is he going to pretend he doesn't know..? i guess that'll make it easier to face him in class tomorrow.

josh: perfect. goodnight, sweetheart.

tyler: goodnight j <3

-

the next day, i give all of my classes a work day. i let them use the period to do whatever they need to since there aren't really too many assignments left in the semester.

i sit down behind my desk and keep my eyes on my computer, pretending to work. my phone buzzes and i know it's going be be tyler before i even check it.

tyler: are you feeling okay? :( you look upset. whats wrong?

josh: no, im alright, honey. just got a lot on my mind

tyler: did i do something..?

josh: no, you didnt do anything. promise. im excited to see you later :)

tyler: i'll give you the biggest hug and a kiss for good measure. will that help?

i smile down at my phone. i guess if he knows and he's still not being awkward about coming over, that's a good sign. right?

josh: definitely

-

on the drive home, i feel my palms grow clammy on the steering wheel. i try to listen to the radio, to focus on anything else.

i pull into the parking lot of the complex before long and quickly go inside and change, texting tyler as soon as i'm finished doing so.

he knocks on my door barely a minute later.

"hey, ty." i smile a little, but i'm sure he can tell i'm nervous.

as soon as i close the door behind him, he hugs me tightly, his arms wrapped around me and his cheek resting on my shoulder.

"hi, j," he says softly.

"hi, sweetheart."

i let myself lean into the embrace and take in the comfort that comes with it.

when he pulls away, it's only to bring both hands to my face and kiss me, soft and slow.

he breaks the kiss eventually and looks at me, doing his best to try and read my mind through my face. i wonder if it's working.

"are you alright though? really?" he asks, thumbs brushing over my cheekbones as mine have his before.

"i'm alright. i was just hoping we could talk..?"

here we go.

"yeah, of course."

when we're seated on the couch, i take one of his hands in mine.

i take a deep breath.

"tyler, i know hayley, um... talked to you while you were at work yesterday," i begin.

"oh. yeah, i actually wanted to talk to you about that, too," he says. he knew this was coming then.

i look down at our hands. "i don't want you to think you have to, like, say it back, or-or that there's any pressure or anything... but i-i do love you," i admit. though i fumbled through my confession, it feels nice to say it to him.

"are you nervous, joshua?"

"well, i mean, yeah," i say, a short breath of a laugh leaving following my answer.

tyler squeezes my hand once and lets his other come back to the side of my face.

"j, will you look at me?"

i look up and see the small, sweet smile i know so well.

"i love you too."

"you do?"

he nods. "mhm. i love you."

"i love you," i say again, because i can.

he leans forward to kiss me again and then moves to sit in my lap, just to be as close to me as possible. one of his hands is in my hair and i feel him smile against my lips.

he leans back again, just on the side of breathless, with the same pink glow in his cheeks. "is it okay that i'm, um, sitting here?"

"tyler, you can sit wherever you want."

he giggles and shrugs a little. "i think i like this spot best."

"hm. good to know."

his cheeks grow darker. "i didn't mean like that. i-i mean, i guess i could've. i wouldn't really know-"

i cut him off by pressing a gentle kiss to his lips. i shake my head. "all in good time, darling. whenever you're ready."

he nods. "oh, i was going to tell you. i'm working a day shift saturday and then a night shift sunday. so... maybe i could stay the night..?"

i know what he's thinking when he asks, what he suggested on the phone. i hope he also knows that i'd love his company regardless.

"that'd be nice." i lean forward and press a few kisses down his neck. "to lie with you again, to wake up next to you."

"mhm. can't wait."

(an: shorter chapter but they're in looooove)