clementine // joshler

50

tyler's point of view

i stand in my kitchen thursday afternoon, staring at the bananas on the counter.

i try to give myself a pep talk.

i can do this. it can't be that bad, right? i mean, it's pretty simple. i think. it'll be fine. it'll be worth it. he'd never make fun of me for not being great at it yet. he'll probably tell me it's amazing even if i do terribly, just to make me feel better.

i take one from the bunch and peel it, taking a deep breath to prepare myself. i take it into my mouth slowly, seeing how far i can go.

it's further than i'd anticipated, which gives me hope.

i grab my phone in my free hand, deciding to text my groupchat.

tyler: am i supposed to know what i'm doing or am i meant to just guess

emily: i mean you literally have one just try and think of what would feel best for you

tyler: how would i know ??? ive never had one of these before either ???

sydney: babe if you can hit the back of your throat at least once or twice without throwing up, i think you're prepared. if you can swallow, that's a plus

emily: i need to switch classes

tyler: nooo !!! you cant leave me alone with that other girl in there, i'll end up diving across the room to throw hands or smth

sydney: aww are you jealous ty-ty???

tyler: a little! i mean,, he never pays attention to her, but i still hate watching the uncomfortable look on his face when she stares at him while she fucking bites the end of her pencil

sydney: go talk to him about it.

tyler: right now???

sydney: yeah! go tell him how you feel and then make out with him or something. even if she doesn't know it happened, *you'll* know and it'll be like marking your territory but invisible. plus i bet it'll make him feel good to know you care enough to be jealous and that you pay enough attention to notice how uncomfortable it makes him in the first place.

tyler: fine.

emily: god.

i finish eating the banana, mostly just so it doesn't go to waste, and then walk across the few steps to josh's door.

he opens it wearing sweatpants, his glasses, and no shirt. i feel some of my annoyance melt away immediately. how could i be mad when he's standing in front of me, inviting me in and looking absolutely perfect?

"hey, tyler. what's up?" he moves to let
me in and then closes the door.

"i just wanted to talk to you about something." i shrug a little and he nods,
leading us to the couch.

"alright. you've got my full attention, sweetheart. what's on your mind?"

"i was just thinking and... that girl in class. i hate it, the way she acts. it sucks that i have to watch her hit on you every chance she gets for a whole hour every weekday," i admit, feeling a little embarrassed as i say it out loud.

a small smile graces his face. "tyler, love, are you jealous?"

"kinda. maybe. it's not that i don't trust you or anything. i just wish i could do that, you know? and i hate that she makes you uncomfortable too."

"i see. come here, ty." he moves to pull me to his lap, his hands coming to my face. "i understand how you're feeling. i get it. you have nothing to be jealous of, okay? i even tried to make the office switch her classes, but they couldn't work out a different schedule because of her cheerleading or something."