SDMN Bits and Bobs

SDMN ADVENT • 24 •

24th December, 2022

Vik: I don't need to go to bed. I'm not tired, I'll be fine.
Tobi: But, darling, I'll be so lonely without you. Come curl up in my arms so I can feel whole again.
Vik: O-oh. Well. Are you trying to seduce me into healthy sleeping patterns??
Tobi: Is it working?

~

JJ: You have to apologize to them Ethan.
Ethan: Fine! But I must warn you that this might make me a better, nicer person and that is NOT the person you fell in love with!

~

Simon: When you said 'Magic in Bed', I wasn't expecting this...
Harry: *pulls out card from deck* Now, was this your card?
Simon: Holy moly-

~

Josh, driving Harry and Vik: So how was your day?
Harry: We almost got surprise adopted!
Person A: What?
Vik: We almost got kidnapped.
Josh: Oh, okay.
Josh: *slams on the breaks* WAIT WHAT?!

~

Simon: I currently have 7 empty notebooks and I have no clue what to put in them. Suggestions?
Harry: Put spaghetti in it.
Simon: I'm currently taking suggestions from literally anyone but you.
Josh: Put spaghetti in it.
Simon: I'm currently taking suggestions from anyone but you two.
Tobi: Put spaghetti in it.
Simon: I'm no longer taking suggestions.

~

Simon: On a scale from “damn Daniel” to “fre sha vaca do”, how are you feeling?
Tobi: In between “it’s an avocado, thanks” and “how did you defeat Captain America”, but as a solid answer I would say “I don’t need a degree to be a clothing hanger”. How about you, Person C?

Vik: Probably “road work ahead”.
JJ: I speak many languages, and this is none of them.

~

Harry: You lying, cheating, piece of shit!
Ethan: Oh yeah? You’re the idiot who thinks you can get away with everything you do. WELCOME TO THE REAL WORLD
Harry: I’m leaving you, and I’M TAKING SIMON WITH ME
Tobi, picking up the monopoly board: I think we’re gonna stop playing now.

~

JJ: Simon isn’t answering his phone
Harry: I’ll call.
JJ: Ethan and I have both tried six times each, what makes you thi-
Simon: Hello?

~

Josh: There is no future. there is no past. do you see? Time is simultaneous, an intricately structured jewel that humans insist on viewing one edge at a time, when the whole design is visible in every facet.
JJ:
Vik:
Tobi:
Everyone Else At Josh's Surprise Birthday Party:
Simon: All I asked was if you wanted to cut your birthday cake first.

~

Tobi: *Posts a super low-quality image to the group chat*
Simon: If I had a pound for every pixel in this image, I’d have 15p
Tobi: If I had a pound for every ounce of rage I felt in my body after I read this text, I would have enough money to buy a cannon to fire at you
Vik: Actually I did the math, Simon would have $225, not £0.15.
Simon: Fam I’m right here....
Harry: If I had a pound I would buy a can of pop :)
Tobi: while you’re there could you buy me an apply juice please?
Harry: Sorry I only have a pound
Tobi: :(
Vik: Hey I just realized my friend is right, Simon would have $22,500 because it's a pound for every pixel, not a penny
Harry: If I had $22,500 I would buy a can of soda and an apply juice
Vik: You can buy anything you want with $22,500
Ethan: Yeah and they want soda and apply juice
Vik: Apply juice to what
Josh: Directly to the forehead
JJ: Great chat everyone

~

JJ, walking into his flat: Hello, people who do not live here.
Simon: Hey.
Vik: Hi.
Harry: Hello.
Josh: Hey!
JJ: I gave you the key to my place for emergencies only!
Ethan: We were out of Doritos.