Fidelity

28th

Let's start dating

"Bakit niya gagawin lahat ng 'yon? It's obvious! Gusto ka niya. Ikaw yung tinutukoy niyang nagugustuhan niya,"

Raya is suddenly talking as if she's a love expert. Agad akong nakipag-Facetime sa kanya pag-uwi upang may mapagsabihan ng gumagambala sa isipan ko. I didn't mention it was Davion. I just said there was this guy. Although I think anyone could tell that it was him from the details, Raya just can't seem take a hint sometimes. Thank God.

Napabuntong-hininga ako. "Ang hirap.."

Raya's face instantly softened to sympathize with me. "Magdecide?"

I sighed. "Maging maganda,"

Her lips parted.

These things are far from new to me. Kinder pa lang ay may pinapaiyak na ko— 'yun ang kwento nila Yaya. Apparently, my seatmate got upset coz he saw me playing with another boy. Grade two ako nang may unang naglakas loob umaming crush niya ko. Grade three when guys started lining up for me. Grade four naman nang may unang magdeklara na liligawan ako. Men started pursuing me from then on. However, none of them was really my type.

"Ano bang nakikita nila dyan? Ang sama naman ng ugali! Parang maldita! Ang arte pa,"

Of course a lot of girls were insecure. That's also why I didn't have solid friends from grade school. Tama naman sila. Maarte talaga ako. I know most guys don't like that, but you know what I realized? Men go crazy over a pretty face. When your visuals are to die for, they lose their mind and all of a sudden, personality is the least of their priorities. Unfortunately for the other girls, my face card is topnotch. It never declines.

Maging hanggang sa paglipat ko sa UA&P ay may mga agad ding nagparamdam. Some were even upperclassmen. Ni wala akong ideya kung paano nadiskubre ang tungkol sa presensya ko sa Unibersidad gayong bagong salta lamang ako. May mga gumagawa pa ng eksena sa campus para ayain akong maging date sa kung anu-anong okasyon. Prom, graduation ball, valentine's, name it.

Going to parties, formal or not, be it business-related or casual, bars, clubs— I've learned how to deal with flirting. I could be playful when I have to be and a tease when the situation calls for it. Men are all the same. Madali silang basahin. I could literally see through them.

A creased formed on Davion's forehead. "What are you lookin' at?"

Nanatili akong lantad na nakatitig sa kanya. Nakasandal ang likod sa pinto ng car seat habang magkakrus ang braso. Sinadya kong wag magsuot ng seatbelt para maobserbahan siya nang ganito.

Sabado ngayon at pumunta siya sa bahay para samahan ako sa lakad ko. He knows I visit my derma during this time of the month. I could go without him but for today, I decided otherwise.

His jaw tightened. Sumulip din ang mga ugat sa braso niya nang humigpit ang hawak sa manibela. "Quit staring or I'll pullover,"

Umangat ang kilay ko, hindi pinansin ang sinabi niya. "Dumaan tayo sa mall pagkatapos sa clinic.."

He didn't say anything so I continued.

"I'm visiting Raya so I need new clothes to bring with me," wika ko. It's true. Plano kong bisitahin si Raya abroad. It's lonely to be alone in a foreign country. I don't want her to feel alone. She have me. Matagal ko nang balak puntahan siya ngunit hindi matuloy-tuloy.

"Kailan?" It took him quite a while to ask this. Batid kong natigilan marahil dahil hindi inaasahan ang sinabi ko.

"I'm flying Friday night. Wala ring pasok ng Monday kaya't long weekend.." kibit ko.