I'm Only A Fool For You [Kai Havertz]

•Chapter 29

POV Aurelia:

"Sooo, how was last night?" Claire throws me a smug look and bumps my shoulder lightly. I get flustered and my eyes widen, but I decide to play dumb. She couldn't know about the business between Kai and me, could she?

"What do you mean?" she gives me a look that says bitch are you for real? I sigh in defeat and straight up decide I want to be swallowed up by the restaurant ground. The boys are in training for their next match and we have chosen to explore Germany a bit. It is really beautiful and I love the cosy cafes and restaurants. That's why we eat at a fancy establishment, instead of a takeaway.

"How do you know?" I scratch my arm, a little uncomfortable at sharing my love life. Hopefully we weren't too loud. God, I pray we weren't.

"Well, I wanted to drop off your luggage, but I heard some noises so I went back to my hotel room." she informs me and wiggles her eyebrows teasingly. Oh God, that's embarrassing. I look at my hands as I play with my ring, but then I realise something.

"That's why you looked so strange this morning when you dropped off my luggage!" I scratch my neck embarrassingly and she nudges me with her hand that it's totally okay.

"You have nothing to be ashamed of! Me and Timo do it all the time, he's so-" She looks dreamily into the distance and I decide I don't want to know what my best friend is doing with her lover.

"Okay, that's enough I get it!" She looks at me and rolls her eyes, but says nothing else. So then I just say something I remembered from this morning. "Have you seen the group chat? Apparently Chris is going out with Kate."

She leans over the table a bit and gossips with me. "Yes I heard, bit odd isn't it? He hid it well from us." I nod, agreeing.

"Can you imagine? Katis or Chrate. What would their shipname be? The latter sounds like crate so that's out of the question, but the former sounds like piss. Mhm." She thinks of a cute ship name and I try to stiffen a smile. Chrate and Katis seriously? She's one of a kind, that's for sure.

She eventually comes up with Katian, using Chris's full name. After her whole thinking of a ship name, we fall into a comfortable silence, but Claire cramps up a little, making the air a little denser. And I ask her straight out what's wrong. 

"...What are you going to do with Chloé?"

Oh. Chloé was so immature, yet I feel like there is something bigger behind her actions. It's probably paranoia, but I don't know, it's really confusing. 

"I don't know. I really don't. What can I even do about her?" I sigh deeply in thought. I've had this idea for a long time, but it always sounded so ridiculous, but now that I think about it, I have to share it with Claire.

"Can I tell you something..." I am very nervous, but I need to express my feelings to someone and who is better than your own best friend?

"Always, what is it?" she seems a little scared by my expression, but she does a good job of hiding it. Okay, here we go. Don't hide and don't back down.

"Since... I have been dating Kai I am faced with so many problems, sure there are good memories, but I am constantly reminded of the toxic environment we are in. Even his best friends are turning against the idea of us, just look at Chloé. I just don't know if we should continue. We almost broke up because of a lie, for fuck's sake! I love Kai with all my heart, but I don't want him to have problems. It must have hurt him more that his childhood friend turned against him. And sometimes I wonder if he would be happier if I didn't date him...." I got it off my chest. For some reason, I always feel guilty about everything and I don't want to live with that. I love him so much, but I think it destroys us both. He needs a healthy mind, but so do I. It's not selfish, it's just self-care and I don't want to neglect either of us.