hindsight | haerin x danielle | daerin

chapter 20

The smile on Hanni's face vanished immediately when they went out of the store.

She looked back, and seeing Danielle talking to Haerin was enough already. Her mission is done.

Get Minji out of there, so Danielle could talk to Haerin.

She noticed her hand still gripping Minji hence she let go harshly, without thinking how hurt it made the other girl felt

There was an awkward silence. Hanni wanted to leave yet she didn't know how to say goodbye, so, they just stare at the opposite side of the streets as the rain pours slowly

"I should go," Hanni began

But Minji didn't let her, "Why are you avoiding me?"

"..."

"Please tell me, 'cause I don't know what I did wrong," Minji pleads

Hanni's lips twitch as she pursed her lips into a thin line, "Can.. can I just leave?"

"If you leave... you'll never see me again," Minji swallowed hard, she gripped on the end of Hanni's uniform

Hanni hesitated for awhile, "I'm fine with that. Let me go."

Minji scoffed, it came out like she can't believe what's currently happening.

"Are you kidding me? After everything? All the nights we spent talking, all the gifts that we exchanged, and you want to act like it didn't matter at all?"

Hanni heave a deep breath as she faced Minji, "I don't know what you're trying to get out of me."

Minji's hand clenched into fist, "I'm trying to get something, anything out of you. Did I not matter to you at all? Did you just lead me on?"

Hanni laughed sarcastically but somehow you can hear the nervous tone in her voice as she lets it out

"You want the answer? I never liked you. You started talking to me, and I went with it. Simple."

Minji chuckled bitterly, "Both of us know that's bullshit,"

"It's the truth whether you like it or not," Hanni raised both her hands, making an expression Minji couldn't quite define

Just when Hanni was ready to leave Minji halts her the second time

"God, I can't believe I like you. I can't believe I have feelings for you. I wanted to spend more time with you but you started avoiding me for no reason," Minji ran her fingers through her hair in frustration

Hanni remained still on her tracks, she took a deep breath, "... I know that," She whispered but it was enough for Minji to hear

Minji's breathing became rapid, she stared at Hanni, speechless. It took her a few seconds to recover

"So you knew?" She chuckled incredulously, "Is that why you distanced yourself? You're scared of me confessing my feelings to you?"

Hanni rolled her eyes, "It's for your own good, I didn't want you to get hurt by me,"

"Oh, so you were just gonna reject me preemptively and disappear to 'protect' me? Is that it?" Minji sighed in disbelief

Hanni bravely meet her eyes, "Let me go,"

But it's not going to be that easy to Minji, "No, we're going to talk about this,"

"I already told you. I never liked you!" Hanni yelled out

They're just there. In the middle of the streets with heavy rain pouring, clothes dripping wet yet they couldn't be bother to find a place they can sit in for awhile until the rain stops. Their loud voices were muffled by the sound of rain touching the ground

"You know what I think Hanni? I think I know what's going on, yeah, you're scared of developing feelings too so you ditched everything!" Minji smiled annoyingly and that hits the spot

"..." Hanni pushes her away, getting irritated cuz she's right. She walked away as fast as she could but Minji tailed her

"What's so wrong with reciprocating my feelings? Are you scared to like me?"

Hanni bumped her to the side yet Minji did not even flinch, "It's not you. You're not the reason why I was avoiding you. Is that what you wanna hear?" She screamed at her face

"Then what? You think you don't deserve to be loved? You're scared of falling inlove? What is it?"

"Yes! I'm scared of falling in love. Of all people you should know that I'm not ready to be loved!"

There came a moment where they stare at each other, catching their breaths, calming their veins and mind before they continue.

"Why are you scared?" Minji asks softly

Hanni chuckled bitterly, "One day, you'll realize you don't actually love me. Maybe, what you're feeling is just an infatuation. Hell Minji, we only started acknowledging each other's presence two months ago, how can you say you love me? That feeling will not last! That's bullshit! Love is bullshit!" Every word, every sentence dug deep into Minji's chest and Hanni pointing at it made it even more painful

"So, because you think that a relationship with me would crash and burn, you'd rather avoid and pretend we didn't know each other?" Minji sat on the ground, hands on her head

Out of all people, she never thought she'd experience this thing called love. She always finds it corny and crazy and yet here she is

Hanni turns around, "Neither of us would get hurt, that's the best case scenario."

The rain stops pouring, and just when Hanni thought the conversation ends there Minji said something that made her closed her eyes tightly and wished for the world to just end right there

"Then I'll wait until you're completely ready,"

Hanni took a deep deep breath, "What if I'm never ready?"

"That's okay too," Minji replied in a low voice

"You and Dani are both crazy," She replied instead

Minji scoffs, she smiled, it wasn't a genuine one 'cuz she's hurt at the moment but she smiled

"Speaking of the devil,"

Danielle and Haerin appeared out of nowhere. Their eyes were swollen and red.

"Did you guys fight?" Haerin asks while sniffing

"No, did you?" Hanni asked back

Danielle and Haerin looked at each other in unison before looking away.

"No, we just cried." Haerin said in a monotone voice

Hanni worriedly walked towards her, "Why?"

"I don't know."

Haerin stares at Danielle who hasn't said a thing since they went out of the store. There goes that strange melancholic feeling again whenever she looks at the girl. It was warm at first and then it'll turn so painful like a hole sucking her heart inside her body

She looks away. "I don't know." She muttered