Y/n x Spider (From Avatar: The Way of Water)

And I'm hurt by it.

(Spider's POV)

I don't usually care what Y/n says, but that hurt. I've always hated how she looks down on me like I'm - as she called me - an idiot. All the other times that she's called me that didn't matter. For some reason, it matters now. And I'm hurt by it. I don't want to look vulnerable to Y/n though, so I just shrug it off in front of her. I don't like how she views me as the idiot that only knows how to scare her. I don't like how she views me as the idiot that can't read. I don't like how she views me as the idiot that thinks it's destiny for her and I to date. I don't like how she views me as the idiot that means nothing to her. I don't like how she views me as the idiot that she doesn't want to have as a part of her life.

For the most part, I want to be in Y/n's life. I want to play a big part in her life, but the only part I play is the punching bag in the corner of the room. And I don't like that. Maybe I should try harder to be close with her? But I've been trying my absolute hardest to get her to be comfortable around me again. Maybe I'll just always be "that idiot child" to Y/n. I can't live with that, but I have to.

Wow, It's funny what one simple thing that someone says can do to a person.

"You can go read." I say, actually wanting Y/n to leave, for the first time ever.

"But I thought we were going to hang out." She says. 

Yeah I don't want to do that anymore.

"I know you probably want to read." I say.

"I want to hang out with you." She says. I know that she's just saying that to make up for what she said, but it still makes me a little happy to hear it. I just don't feel like hanging out right now, maybe I'll try again tomorrow?

"Just go read." I say, walking away.

I can hear her walking back inside as I walk away. While I walk, I don't enjoy myself like I normally would, I just replay what Y/n said, over and over again in my head. Every time, without failing, I remember seeing the raw truth in her eyes and I know that she meant what she said. She may not always think of me like that, but she sure was thinking of me that way when she said what she did. I usually like looking in her eyes, but that look that I saw just makes me want to throw up.

I just want to go to bed, honestly. The sooner I go to sleep, the sooner I forget about it.