Sweet Cherries

Ch. 21

Ch. 21 *Adrian's POV*

It's been about 2 weeks since Sabrina's birthday and I've been thinking about us a lot. We fool around and sneak around a lot lately. Yeah, it's fun, but I want more than just sex. I want to go on a proper date. Take her out, hold her hands, and treat her to something nice. I want to know more about who she is as a person. 

I let out a sigh as I turn and face Sabrina. We're at the place I took her for her birthday, just laying side by side on a picnic blanket. It's just a clearing at the top of a hill, away from our town and it's sort of become our spot. I randomly found it this summer when I was driving around to calm myself down.

"Sabrina," I call her as the cool summer breeze flows over us.

She turns towards me, a soft smile on her face, "Yes Adrian?"

My heart is racing, but I have to ask. It's been on my mind for so long, "Do you want to go on a date?"

"A date?" The smile on her face slightly wavers and my heart drops.

What is she thinking right now?

"Yeah, you know a proper date. Just me and you. Maybe we dress up and go somewhere nice. So stay inside, watch movies, and eat popcorn."

I wait for her to say something, but she doesn't. I wait for her to do something, but she doesn't. Her face is still as she holds my gaze.

Fuck

"Why?" She finally asks and I'm taken aback. 

"Why not?" I can barely hear my voice over the sound of my pounding heart. This is not going as I expected at all. I thought she'd be excited and spitting out possible plans.

"But..."

"But, what?" I ask her

"But college."

"So?" I know we have to leave in a couple of weeks but that doesn't have anything to do with what I'm asking her right now. I don't even want to think about that day.

"Adrian," Sabrina starts as she sits up beside me, "We're leaving for college in less than 3 weeks."

"So?" I ask once again as I sit up beside her," Why does that mean we can't go on a date?"

"Because," she finally looks me in the eyes, "I can't... we can't get more attached. "

"But we-"

"If we start dating, I won't be able to leave you. I won't be able to pack my bags and say goodbye. Just thinking about that day hurts so much because I really like you, Adrian. I really do," she says as she sits up, her voice cracking at the end.

"The two of us going on one date doesn't mean we're dating. It just means we've gone on a date. But if we do decide to date, there's long distance. We can FaceTime or visit each other, people do it all the time." I offer as I sit up beside her.

Sabrina shakes her head as she turns away from me, "I know, but I can't get more attached to you. You know that one date won't be enough for us. Just think about the sneaking around we've been doing this past couple of weeks. One time is not enough for us. One kiss isn't enough, one night isn't enough, one date is certainly not enough."

"But Sabrina," I try touching her shoulder but she quickly moves away from me. "Are you serious?"

"As a fucking heart attack. If we go on a date, you know that it will make things real for us."

My heart aches at the last words she says. Real? So is this fake? Is what we have fake? The feelings, the passion, is it all fake? A fucking illusion? "What do you mean real?"

"I mean that what we have will be serious. If we go on a date, it means that we aren't just having fun anymore. We aren't just fooling around."

"Sabri..."

"Adrian, I've been thinking about this for weeks and it hurts so much. I thought about us dating and how amazing it would be. But Adrian, I can't risk... I can't risk it."

"Risk what?"

Sabrina closes her eyes and takes a deep breath, "I can't risk falling in love with you."

Falling 

In 

Love 

With 

You

Her words echo and bounce around my brain. Love. L.O.V. E. Sabrina and I in love. That's what I want. I want her to fall in love with me and I want to fall in love with her. I don't care that we're just 18 years old. Love is love. 

"If we go on a date, I know that the feelings I have for you and the feelings you have for me are real. I can't handle starting our relationship just 2 weeks before we leave for college. I can't handle being so far away from you when I'm just starting to love you.

And I want you to have fun in college. I want you to do what you would have if I never came back. So just think about what we had was just a summer fling," she says with a strained smile on her face as her voice breaks

"Fuck that," I can feel my eye start to water, "You came back, Sabrina."

"And I'm leaving. And you're leaving this time too."

"Sabrina, no," I hold onto her hands. 

"Adrian," she softly shakes her head as tears start running down her face. When she starts crying, I can't help but join her. 

"If you are trying to protect us, it's not working," I tell her as I wipe the tears streaming down her face, "Just let us fall in love."

She shakes her head once again, "Adrian, please just take me home."