Kissed by the Moonlight ☆Minwon☆

☆8☆

Jihoon couldn't believe himself. He was standing in the garden at late night, it was something he always did when he was younger. But he didn't expect Soonyoung to be sleeping on the grass. Earlier he had been about to punch the man right in the face, but now the older seemed so peaceful and lonely.

When Mingyu had suggested that crazy idea he had almost thought that Soonyoung would have agreed. So, when he'd refused Jihoon had felt guilty. He had long since lost hope in their relationship, and Jeonghan knowing about his nightmares was shocking. 

Their love had been pure and joyful. Soonyoung himself had been the most cheerful person he had never know. During the first days after their deaths, Jihoon hadn't known what to do. His mate was slowly slipping away from his hands, and he had just been able to hold him during his nightmares. Maybe it hadn't been enough.

When Soonyoung had said he wanted to go far away Jihoon hadn't believed him. But then he really did leave. He had looked for him. For ten years. And when he'd found him, he had just turned the other way and left.

It had been hard, not knowing how he was, if he was alive, if he was feeling lonely. He had returned to Soonyoung's forest house after some time. It's just to make sure he is ok. It was what he kept repeating. But in the end, he had let him go. Partly. He'll be lying if he said that seeing him arriving with Mingyu his chest hadn't skipped a beat. But he knew that it was just him.

"Why are you hiding behind the tree, Jihoon?" His sleepy voice was a comforting melody.

"I'm not hiding. You stole my spot."

"The garden is huge; you can lay next to me."

"I think I'll just go inside. It's cold." As he said that a warm wind wrapped around him, a shield against Yesoden's cold weather. Soonyoung didn't say anything, as if he didn't do that on purpose. Jihoon was going back inside when the older spoke softly, only for Jihoon to hear.

"Jihoon... Sorry for everything. I let you down and it was the last thing I wanted to do. When I left you, I wasn't in my right mind. I was too selfish. I apologize."

"It's been a long time. Why apologize now?"

"Because if I die one day I, at least, want you to know that leaving you is the only thing I regret in my life. I'm not expecting your forgiveness, I just wanted you to know."

Jihoon couldn't speak. He didn't know what to say.

"I don't know if I even deserve to talk to you right now. I don't care how many mean things you'll say to me, I won't correct you, nor retort back as I know I'm wrong."

His words were hurting him, and he didn't even know why. To not deserve to talk to him, he was thinking too low of himself. He almost seemed helpless, a shell of the person he'd once been. Maybe between the two of them, Jihoon wasn't the most broken one.

"Now I'll go. Seungkwan wants to see me. I'll leave your spot so you can lay down. Goodnight Jihoon."

Jihoon tought of something more to say other than a mere goodbye, but he couldn't think of anything.

"Goodnight Soonyoung."

As he walked past him, their hands brushed together, and Jihoon could swear that a shiver went down his spine.

****

Seungkwan had been waiting for this lecture for so long. He was ready to ask Soonyoung all the things he wanted to know, so he wasn't really prepared when he saw the older entering his room with sadness in his eyes. Soonyoung went straight to sit on the bed and looked right at him.

"I'm ready. Spill it all."

That really caught Seungkwan off guard. Maybe he really had to change his tone, trying to speak with his cousin nicely. "What happened?"

"Can you be a little more specific?"

Seungkwan took a deep breath. "Why are you so sad? It's because of what Mingyu said?"

"Mingyu's words only enraged me, sadness is something related to someone else."

"Is it Jihoon? The two of you talked?"

At that Soonyoung stiffened, now looking something between sad and annoyed. "Seungkwan, I'm really tired. What is it that you wanted to ask?"

"Why are being like this? Really... We hadn't saw each other for a long time, and you didn't even said hello to me, or how are you. I mean, I know I can't replace them, but I'm still part of your family..."

Soonyoung interrupted him. "Do you still consider me as your family? Do you still see me as a human being?"

"Of course I do. You are my family... I still love you. The fact that you left hurt me, but I've never hated you nor I was disappointed."

"Then you are the only one..."

"Soonyoung..."

The older stood up taking his hands. "I'm sorry. I really am, Seungkwan. I should have treated you better, I should have talked to you more. And I'm sorry that I wasn't there when you needed me."

"I wasn't there for you too, and maybe that's one of the reasons why you left, and I'm sorry if I wasn't enough to ease your pain."

"You were more than enough. It was just me, I had to get away to pull myself together. And when I did, I was too afraid of the judgments, so I stayed away. Sorry for that."

Seungkwan suddenly felt a tear going down his cheek, he hugged his cousin tightly, rubbing his back as the older hugged him back. When they broke the hug Seungkwan asked. "What will you do now? Do you plan on staying?"

"I don't know. Maybe I'll stay here for a while, and I'll try to apologize with the others as well."

"You can come with me to Rodeven..."

"I don't know. I kind of want to see Antigua. See if it can be saved. And if that's the case then I think I'll take it back. For them, and for you, Seungkwan."