Acting Like I Love Her (gxg)

Not in a Gay Way

Milani: First person.

I went home that Sunday on the bus. A few weeks ago, I never would have even thought of taking the bus, but I enjoyed it that time with Nova so much, I went out and bought a bus card so I can take it more often. 

I ended up taking three buses home, but I didn't even mind, it was that fun. 

I'm on my first bus when I start thinking about the day. I thought about those 12 year old boys with fireworks. I really thought it was a gunshot. That was weird.

I still hadn't spoken to Sara. Surprisingly, I wasn't as lonely as I thought I would be. I guess because that hole in my heart from my best friend was replaced by my fake girlfriend. 

That's another weird thing. I don't even think I hate Nova anymore. She's kinda cool. I look at my phone to see how far I was from my second stop. 

17 minutes.

I get comfy in my seat and start daydreaming- my favourite hobby.

I think of myself with a boyfriend but no face comes to mind. I look around my bus for inspiration for my daydream boyfriend. I see a guy around my age. 

He had dyed dark red 4c hair and is dressed in red and black. I liked his style and a few months ago he definitely would've been my type, but now I don't feel that same attraction. 

I go back to my daydream. My dream boyfriend has this red haired guy's fashion style, but the face was a blurry blob. 

I imagine myself at school absolutely despising that guy. I love enemies to lovers so I added that to my story. 

We have a ton of tension from hating each other so much. We could be like academic rivals. 

I spend my first bus ride thinking about the enemies part. I get on my second bus and get on the lovers part of my story. One of my favourite tropes is also the one bed trope so I add that in there. 

As I'm daydreaming, I realize the scene seems really familiar. I recognized the room, I remember this scene very vividly, but I had no idea where I knew it from. That almost memory gave me a fuzzy feeling in my stomach. 

I continue to rack my brain until it hits me like a brick. 

That night I slept on the same bed as Nova. 

It was a bit before we started fake dating. Nova's best friend caught us the next day. 

Wow. 

I continue thinking about that. I look back on all our past memories from the past few months. I think about that fuzzy feeling I had when Nova called me at like peak morning telling me we had a kiss scene. 

I hadn't even realised, but I started replacing my day dreams with my imaginary boyfriend to daydreams with Nova. 

The enemies parts really fit. I get on my final bus and think about being Nova's girlfriend, but for real. I think about kissing her. I've definitely thought about that before but not in a gay way. In like a practise way for the show. 

But now I think about kissing Nova as Milani, not my character. 

It's a fun feeling. Very cockroach-in-stomach kinda way. I'm reminded of a conversation with Gareth where he told me that him, Nova and Jennie used to practise kissing together so they're not amateurs when it really happens.

I remember him saying she was a good kisser. 

I decided that I want to experience that. 

I like Nova. 

I want her.

I'm getting her.

With that on my mind I get home and go to sleep listening to Heat Waves and daydreaming (night dreaming? dreaming??)

A/N:

Wooooooooh she's not completely dense about her feelings!!!!!

I have exams so I might not be able to post soon idk we'll see. I might just write a bunch of stuff now.

Hope you enjoyed!!

Oh yeah also, is this a good slow burn pace?