Expecting Freshman (Editing)

Chapter 26

Heads Up: This chapter will have scenes from Abby's birthday, but I don't go into too much detail. & sorry about the wait, I wanted this chapter to be perfect<3 Enjoy!

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DAN'S P.O.V (ABBY'S DAD)

  I put the pen to the paper, then off again. I just couldn't write the damn letter, not today anyway. Besides, it's not like she actually reads these things, let alone cares about getting them. Even though I haven't sent her much, it's better then what I planned. Nope, I didn't plan on even speaking to her the whole time I was supposed to be in this dang prison. But, it just happened to be me my luck that Abigale got pregnant. Now I was about to have another kid in this world, and I would make it a goal of mine to make sure I meet her.

  I sighed, and looked out the window at the dark and gloomy sky. My daughter will have her baby in two days, at least that's what I hear, and I wouldn't be there. I promised her mom that I would be, but when I did I hadn't planned on getting her pregnant and then locked up in prison. I rolled my eyes, it was stupid being here. But even worse, to my amazement, was the fact that I was missing my daughter, my sister-in-law, my mother-in-law, and my nephew; Karson. Crazy, I know, but it couldn't be any truer.

  I looked back down at the paper, and began:

  Dear Abigale,

     Hi, it's me again.  I know you probably do not want this letter but I am choosing to write one anyway, not only for you but for me. You are due to have that baby in two days, and I'm not there; I am sorry for that. I hate the position I have put you in, and I hate what it is doing to us. How have you been? Me, I have been good lately; I have been sober. How's Karson, Lacey, Tonya, Alyssa, and the others? Good I hope, well I guess that I'll go now.

                           Bye- Your Dad

  I looked over the letter, quickly shoving it in the envelope and laying at the end of my desk. The only thing I could think the whole time was lie, but she doesn't know that. I was surely not sorry for not being there when she had her kid, at least not sorry to her. I didn't hate what this was doing to us either, I would fix that when the time came; I just had to wait patiently. Oh, and the sober part? Yeah, I haven't been sober since the day one in this damn prison, I knew the right people.

  There was a knock at my door and just seconds later an officer walked in my room, I eyed him patiently, looking him over. He was probably over six foot tall, short hair and a scruffy beard, but buff and in shape; he looked like he really knew what he was doing. "Um, Dan, is it?"

  "What do you want?" I snapped at him.

  "Um, my name is Officer Burnt, I'm here to watch you and to see check on your letter for..."

  "Abigale Kirk,  my daughter," I concluded for him.

  "Yes, that's right," he nodded.

  I held my letter out for the man, and he took it cautiously. "So, your the man raped his daughter nine months ago; correct?"

  "What's it to you?" I stood up from the spot I was, balling my fists up.

  "Nothing, I was just asking a simple question. Remember, if you hit me; it's a violation of--"

  "Yeah, I really don't care," I huffed, putting my hands behind my head.

  "Yeah, okay. Do you need anything else before I leave?"

  "No," I said, slamming the door just as soon as he was far enough out. I rolled my eyes and took a seat on my bed, being here gave me so much time to think....this was something I hated. I looked around and then reached my hand under the bed, grabbing the small salt shaker.

  My mouth watered when I saw the liquid inside, whiskey was my weakness; I'd do anything for whiskey. I put it to my lips and chugged it back quick, loving the burning sensation it left on my throat. I looked at the now empty salt shaker, my mind just totally blank. I didn'tthink of anything, I didn't  want to think of anything.

  Then it hit me, all at once. Memories of that night, memories of what I did to Abigale....

 { She looked so helpless, but that's what drove me. Her being so scared made it worse for her, her eyes. The fear in them made my heart beat like a speed boat, made my breath catch in my throat, and made me want her even more. I looked down at her hands, which I had told her to place on the arm of the couch, I could only think of places that I want her put them; and all the places they had been...}

  I shook my head, trying to get my mind in the present; but not really succeeding in this attempt. I let out a large huff, and closed my eyes...drifting into the memories of nine months ago.

  { "Daddy, please, don't," Abigale cried to me while I gripping her wrist with a death grip, and getting situated to get her near me. "Shush Abigale," I mumbled, pulling her down beside me, then licking my lips in my drunk attempt at being seductive. "Dad, stop!" She yelled as I lowered my hands to the hem of her Pink Floyd t-shirt: one of my favorite shirts she owned. As I began to slip her shirt over her head, I put my lips to her neck...}

  "Damn!" I yelled suddenly, trying to keep my head and my wondering mind in the present. Though, that never happened when I was sober...I counldn't remember a single thing of that night when I was sober. But when I was drunk, it was like I was reliving that day. In a way, I guess that's why I was staying drunk, because I wanted to remember the day...I wanted to feel like Abigale was here with me. That I hadn't ruined my life, by pushing away the only memory I have left of Anabelle.

  Oh Anabelle. My dead, deceased wife, whom I would still to this day, die for. She was the best woman you could possibly imagine spending your life with, hell she was the best woman to spend just five minuets left. The way her black hair would move when she laughed, they way her eyes lot up when she looked at me or our daughter. She would even tell Abigale stories, about just anything that would come to Abigale's mind, and Anabelle would just roll with it. Anabelle would give the best advice you would ever want from someone, she would keep your biggest secrets without holding anything over your head or judging you. Oh and her laugh, she had the most contagious laugh you've ever heard.

  I saw all of these qualities in Abigale.

  That isn't something I want to admit, especially when I am drunk. I closed my eyes hard, wanting to remember a good memory of the three of us...of the happiest times in my life.

  But I can't.

  I am too drunk to remember my sober moments, so instead I have to think of more drunk memories, but the only ones that come to mind are what happened nine months ago...

  { I pulled away and looked down at my daughter, her tear streaked face looking at me with so much fear and so much hate that I almost began to feel guily...almost. I looked around and attempted to find my clothes, commanding Abigale to do the same. She did so slowly and quietly, afraid of me. That's when it happened, that's when she ran like lightning out the door. So, that was why I suddenly grabbed my car keys and jumped in  my car...}

  Sighing, I turned over on my side, and feel into a drunk and dreamless sleep.