Erica Clifford - Completed

Fifty three

I squeezed my eyes tighter. God it was bright in here. I felt like death. My throat was killing me, my head was pounding there was pain in places I'd never felt pain. 

"Okay, yeah it is a bit bright in here for you." A strange voice spoke, a slight laugh in her dainty voice as the lights flicked off. It was still bright but a little better. I opened one eye, squinting as I took in my surroundings. 

Where the fuck am I?

I opened my other eye quickly. 

"Erica, calm down sweetheart. You're okay. You're in the hospital. I need you to stay still for me okay?" I could hear my heart rate monitor going up and my head started hurting. "Deep breathes for me." I took a deep breathe like she asked. "Do you know why you're here?" She shone a bright light in my eyes a few times, like I was some sort of game. 

"Um-" Ow. "Car." It hurts to talk. 

"Okay good. Sorry hun, your throat is going to be sore for a few days." I looked at her as she tilted her head and pulled the blanket off my feet. "Can you feel this?" She stroked the bottom of my feet and I nodded. "Good. Push against my feet for me." I tried but my back was hurting. I must have winced. "Pain?" I nodded again. "Where abouts?" I pointed to my head, hitting a pot against my head as I did. The fuck? Why was my arm in a pot? I scowled at it and she laughed. "Anywhere else?" 

"Back." She nodded. Okay she was expecting that. 

"Any in your abdomen?" She put her hands on my stomach under the covers pressing down vigorously.

"Sore but not pain." I was so croaky. 

"Okay. Can you wiggle your toes for me?" I did so and she smiled. "And this might hurt but try lift them, one at a time." I did, watching her face as I did. "Okay good." She sighed and pulled a seat up, grabbing my chart from the bottom of my bed. "So let's talk about what happened. You remember the car crash. Do you remember anything before that?"

"I couldn't sleep." I swallowed hard.

"Let me get you some cold water it might take the edge off." She stood up and poured some water out of the jug on a little table beside her into a paper cup and handing it to me. I grabbed it with my non dominant hand, the one not wrapped up and took a sip, dribbling it everywhere. God how embarrassing. She pulled the table up over my bed so I could put it down. "Okay so you couldn't sleep?" 

"I text Levi but he wasn't answering so I thought I'd just go to the studio like always."

"Okay good." She nodded, taking notes "What day was it? That you crashed?" 

"Well it was Saturday night that I couldn't sleep. The sun was coming up so I'm guessing Sunday morning?" She nodded. Score

"Okay good. Do you know the date?" 

"Um okay-" I started tracing it back in my head. The album was supposed to go out on the 27th which was the Monday, the crash happened on the Sunday. "26th of June. I think. If my maths is right." 

"It is." She nodded. "Okay so you're okay. Are you ready for me to list off all the injuries?" 

"There's multiple?" I laid my head back and she nodded.

"Some had us really worried." Oh god. "I'll go from least sever to most okay?" I nodded and she started. 

"So the standard bruises, cuts and scratches. Some of them had glass in but they were fine. The broken arm and leg that you've seen. There was some internal bleeding in your stomach that worried us when you first got in which is why you tummy is a little sore. You will have a few scars below your ribs from us doing the surgery to sort that. They tried to keep it as uninvasive as possible.  You have a few broken ribs and sternum in the middle of your chest, from the CPR." 

"Did-" I  coughed slightly "Did you say CPR? As in resuscitation?" 

"I'll come back to that in a minute." She pressed her lips together. "The 2 most worrying injuries were the fractures to your back bone, but judging by the testing we just did I don't think there's going to be any considerable lasting damage from them, we will see as time goes on. The big one was the bleed on your brain." My eyes went wide. "That's why you've been in a coma for 5 days." 

"5 days?" She looked up at my monitor and I did too. My heart rate was way too high. I took a few deep breathes. 

"Yeah. We needed to be 100% sure it wasn't still bleeding and that it was healing before we woke you up." 

"So it's healing?" 

"Yeah. You'll have bad headaches whilst it carries on though. But by the sounds of it you've already gotten through the worst and you've surpassed all the odds. You could have been a lot worse off." She stood up. "Now there's a few things I need to speak to you about that aren't about the accident. Your dad wanted me to bring these up." I laid my head back. 

"The DNR?" 

"The Dnr." She nodded. "And he also wanted me to talk to you about going back on your antidepressants." I sighed. Of course. "Your friend seemed pretty adamant about it too. Brooke I think it was? She said something about a cliff and watching you cry for a few days there?" I raised my eyebrows and suddenly realised. 

"S-She was there?" 

"Apparently so." I closed my eyes. Fuck sake this is going to be a whole thing. "What's going on then Erica? Why are your family so worried?" 

"Because they think I'm going to try kill myself again." 

"Would you?" 

"I don't think so? I mean I had the chance at the cliffs right but I couldn't do it. That's why I just sat and cried. I don't think I wanted to die. I never did I just don't want Jason to have control over me." 

"Who's Jason?" 

"My ex. I'm sure he cut my brakes. He promised to kill me." 

"There's been a guy here constantly whilst you've been out. What does Jason look like?" 

"Like, 5 foot 11, blonde hair. My age." 

"Okay. The guy that's been here is older, taller and dark hair." 

"Slight caramel highlights, really strong jawline?" She nodded and I laid my head back, smiling as I did. "That's Levi. My boyfriend." 

"And how is your relationship with Levi?" 

"Amazing. I mean except from the big fight where we didn't walk for nearly 2 weeks because he walked away when I told him he couldn't go beat the shit out of Jason." I rolled my eyes and she laughed. "He's good. I'm safe with him. He's good for me. Makes me feel like I can take over the world. He's happy just standing back whilst I do too." She nodded. 

"Okay. And how's home. Everything good there?" 

"It is now." Her eyebrow peaked. "My sister was dating Jason's brother I knew it felt wrong, turns out Jason was paying him to get info on where I would be. So now my sister is heart broken too. We'll be fine."  

"Okay good. Just standard drama then." 

"Yeah standard. Completely normal." I sighed. "The only person in my life who makes me feel unsafe is Jason and I avoid him as much as possible. I don't want the DNR anymore. Can that be taken off please?" She nodded, not saying another word. 

"Well okay then." She moved towards the door. "There's only Brooke and Levi here at the moment. Want me to let them in?" 

"So bad."