You're The Straw To My Berry (Phan)

Part twenty-seven

Chris P.O.V.

"I'm in love with you, PJ. That's why I'm still here, anyone else would get sick of the sight of you but I don't think I could ever get enough time with you."

"You... you love me?" I wanted to shake him until he had some sense in him, how could someone be so oblivious? Was I not dropping enough hints?

"PJ are you really that blind? Yes, I love you. I love your eyes and how bright they are when you're happy. Every time we touch I get electric shocks and your laugh is my favourite thing to hear, even more so if you're laughing at me. I notice all the little things you do and I know all your favourite films. I could listen to your stories forever and not get bored. I love falling asleep with you in my arms and waking up with you next to me. You make me feel safe and secure, but most of all, you make me happy. I'm in love with you PJ Liguori, even if you can't stand the sight of yourself," I felt like I should've regretted saying it, but I didn't. He had to know, and now that the secret was out, I was feeling lighter in some ways.

PJ looked at the floor, scanning it for inspiration for what to say.

"It's okay Peej, I know how you feel, you don't have to say anything," I could see that his eyes were brimming with tears, which unfortunately was a sight that was engraved in my memories, when he glanced up at me, but I smiled reassuringly and put a hand on his shoulder. "Let’s go make something to eat, yeah?" 

* * *

I lay in my own bed alone that night to give PJ some space. He hadn't really spoken to me since I told him about my feelings for him, but it didn't really surprise me. On the brighter side of things he wasn't treating me any differently; he still snuggled up to me on the sofa and held my hand. I couldn't help but notice that every now and then he would turn our hands over and observe them, like he was trying to figure something out. At least what I said gave him something else to think about too.

I was almost asleep when I heard my door creak open and some shuffling footsteps.

"Chris?"

"Yeah?"

"Can I... can I stay with you tonight?"

"Sure," a blush rose to my cheeks but I scolded myself silently, telling myself that I wouldn't ever be in a relationship with PJ.

He crawled in under the covers and put his head on my chest, an arm across my stomach. I listened to his steady breathing and inhaled his scent, something I realised I had missed when I was away from him for only an hour.

"I'm sorry," PJ said, barely audible.

"For what?"

"That I can't feel the same for you. I wish I could, I really do..."

"Shh, it doesn't matter, go to sleep Peej," I could tell he was starting to get upset but what he was saying was making my heart ache.

"Love you Chris."

"Love you too," and with that, he was out like a light.