You're The Straw To My Berry (Phan)

Part thirty-nine

Phil P.O.V.

"N-no... you're choosing him?! After everything?! No Dan, please, please don't do this to me," I said through tears. 

"I'm sorry." 

"Please, Dan, please, don't leave me." 

"I don't want to lie to you anymore," Lie to me about what? Silence crept over us for a few moments then I broke it again.

"Did you... did you ever love me?" If he was telling the truth now, I had to know, I had to. 

"Yes," he replied bluntly and I looked for any traces in his face to see if he was lying, but there wasn't any. 

"So why do you love him too?" 

"I don't know!" He exploded and I jumped back, caught off guard. "I can't help how I feel Phil!" He was crying now but he wiped his face with the back of his hand and looked back at me with shame. 

"Please, Dan, give me another chance. What's wrong with me? I can change, for you, I can," and it was true. I would do anything if it meant he was happy with me again. 

"There's nothing wrong with you Phil, you're perfect, it's me. I'm all wrong. You deserve someone better." 

"No, don't say that," I snapped. That's the sort of thing people said when they were going to leave you and I was getting scared. This was my worst nightmare coming true. "Don't leave me, I need you, please." 

"This is what's best, for both of us. I don't want to hurt you anymore. The PJ thing is killing you, I can see it! Now that we're not together you won't have to worry about it anymore." 

"Dan..." but he cut me off by hugging me tightly. 

"I love you, I'm sorry," I was sobbing too much to talk and he eased out of my desperate embrace and then kissed me on the forehead softly. 

Feeling too weak to stand I walked backwards until my back was in contact with the wall and sunk down to the ground, feeling totally out of control of my emotions. 

I hugged my knees to my chest, only crying harder when Dan left me alone without a word and I heard the front door slam, because I knew exactly where he was going.