Untitled for now

Jared ( 11 years old )

look you can believe me or not but I swear that I've been told I'm the best kisser in the world " I say as I run my hands through my mushroom cut hair and when it falls back into my face I shake my head to get the hair away from my eyes . I seen Sean from boy meets world do that a few times and he always gets the ladies so I figured it could work on Suzie . Suzie didn't look so impressed . We were sitting in my best friend Tyler's treehouse that him and his dad were nice enough to include me in on making . See I didn't have a dad of my own and Tyler was kind enough to practically share his with me . I did have a mom except she was mostly drunk all the time so Tyler shared his mom with me too . I was also an only child and Tyler even shared his annoying little sister Adriana with me too . Although it wouldn't be too long after this day that I was no longer saw Adriana as a sister .
" yeah and who told you you were the best kisser ? Your mom ? " Suzie says in her brattiest voice . She follows it with a laugh and a snort that immediately makes her cheeks red and I can tell she's embarrassed .Suzie is blond , pigtailed , and looked every bit of awkward as a preteen should . I wasn't much of a stud either which is why I thought my evil plan was bound to work . Suzie and I were about to turn 12 and we were seemingly the only kiss virgins left in our friend groups . Tyler who is a year older then me had even made it to second base . I had just started to be the butt of the jokes with the guys as being the one the girls deemed " not hot " since none of them had let me kiss them . It wasn't for lack of trying either . This is why I needed to formulate a plan that would put me back in good standing with my friend group . I was 11 . This is what was important to me . First order of business was finding a girl who had the highest chance of letting me place my lips on hers. I overheard in the cafeteria that suzie would be getting braces next week . I knew Suzie was the perfect candidate . You might wonder how I came up with that conclusion and thinking back on it I'm still impressed with the way my adolescent brain was working . I figured If she was getting her braces next week she was bound to be feeling vulnerable . She was probaly wondering if anyone would even want to kiss her with a mouth full of metal and the sad answer was that they probaly wouldn't . It also occurred to me that the group of girls Suzie rolled with had all gotten kissed already and I know this because it was my friends that kissed them . All things considered , with suzie being 7 days away from being unkissable , last of her friends to get the opportunity , this should be easy peasy . The next order of business was the perfect place . If I tried to kiss Suzie at school she might get nervous of an audience and turn me down . Getting turned down in front of all the kids at school didn't seem like a good plan . Then it came to me that the perfect place would be Tyler's treehouse . Tyler and his family sat down to have dinner together every day at 5:00pm . Like clockwork about 30 minutes later Tyler would be allowed to go play with all the other kids on the block who just finished dinner with their families and they'd all pick to meet in the same spot -Tyler's treehouse . If I timed it correctly they would be climbing up the makeshift ladder and crawling in the moments me and Susie's rubbed tongues together or whatever happens when you kiss . Telling my friends that I had kissed a girl would be one thing but for them to walk in and see for them self would really raise me up in the preteen boys hierarchy . There was no family dinner for me as it was Friday and my mom was already drunk before I came home from school . It made it easy for me to " borrow " her cheap fake flowers she placed on the kitchen table which served as the single item that made our house look less of a shit hole . It would be worth it I said to myself as I tucked then in my hoodie pocket and headed to Susie's earlier that afternoon .All women love flowers even when they're fake so it wasn't hard to convince Susie and her mom to allow Susie to take a walk with me . We ended the walk at the nicest house on the street which was Tyler's. Susie thought it was cool I had access to the treehouse which leads me to how I ended up in the far corner of it ,sitting Indian stule , knees touching and about to have my first kiss .
" no Susie it wasn't my mom who said I was the best kisser because actually she's dead "
I replied pretty ashamed with myself that I now resorted to pity to try and get a kiss . I only stooped this low because my g-watch was telling me it was 5:35 , This meant Tyler and the rest of the crew were probably packing their dads playboys in their backpacks and heading to the treehouse to take a look at the latest centerfold . In fact I could hear the backyard gate opening in the distance . If I could convince Suzie my mom was dead in the next 45 seconds I was bound to get a pity kiss .
" I'm so sorry I ...I didn't know " she stuttered and in that moment I hate to say it but I was proud . Suzie began to lick her lips and move her face a few more inches closer to mine . I should have felt guilty for saying such a terrible thing but at 11 or didn't even feel too far from the truth . In fact the last time I seen my mother that day she was laid out flat on her stomach on the couch with her eyes closed and barely moving . I had to use my fingers to find her pulse the way that Tyler's nurse mom had taught me . " Mom? Mom? Come on mom I'm hungry ?" I said with no response besides a small snore .I hadn't ate breakfast that morning because there was no groceries in the house .Judging from the state of my mom I wouldn't Be having dinner that night . Not too different then being dead I thought .
" it's okay but you know what would make me feel better ? A kiss from the beautiful Susie bakers " I said and because in that moment I started to hear footsteps traveling ip the ladder I went for it . I did it . I leaned in and kissed her . To my surprise Susie's lips welcomed me openly . The bit about my dead mom must've really sealed the deal because she even grabbed my hand and placed it on her barely there chest . I heard the treehouse door swing open and I smiled into the kiss knowing I was going to look like the man hitting second base in front of the crew . Mt heart literally stopped in my chest when instead of a roaring group of guys cheering me on and high fiving each other I was met with the high pitched scream of an 8 year old girl. Adriana , Tyler and mines shared little sister , stood in the doorway palms to both side of her face home alone style . I immediately pulled away from Susie like her lips were on fire and ran after Adriana who has turned around and hurrying her way down the 12 steps of ladder that felt like at least 50 in that moment .
" Lima bean slow down ! You'll hurt yourself just wait l I said trying to grab a hold of her unicorn hoodie . I didn't even realize I used her nickname until after it was out my mouth . It was the nickname Tyler and I used with her when we were feeling apologetic about playing too rough with her or kicking her out the room when we wanted to curse . It was the nickname that almost always made her smile and seeing the shocked and horrified look on her face made me want to do anything to make her smile again . I tried to put myself in her shoes . Sure at 8 I probaly had a better idea of what kissing and groping was then she did but it would still probaly have been alarming to see in real life . Besides adriana was innocent . She was into horses and mystery books . She liked to ride her bike down to the puppy store and eat strawberry ice cream . The last thing she needed to see was her big brother figure groping a girl in her backyard treehouse . I couldn't imagine how scared she must've been . I ran after her as fast as I could and god she was fast . I reached her just as she reached her hand on the sliding glass door leading back to her house "
" don't touch me !" She screamed and I hadn't even realized my hand was holding on to her elbow . That's when I saw the tears in her eyes . I had scared her to the point of tears . She must've have been so grossed out .I felt like a monster . My eyes moved rapidly as I stared into hers and tried to find the right words . I wanted to tell her I'm sorry she saw that . That kissing was for grown up kids but that she didn't have to worry about seeing something like that ever again . I was about to muster the words when the words she said first stunned me .
" you were suppose to kiss me ! You were suppose to marry me!" She yelled with a stomp of her foot and her bottem lip poking out . She buried inside and slammed the door . I was so stunned I barely noticed her parents inside moving to comfort her and then glaring up at me .
I tried to register what just happened . My littler "sister " had just caught me kissing a girl. She was 3 years younger and therefore whag k assumed to be peryuably grossed out by kisses . Instead it didn't seem to be grossed out at all . I'm fact she said it outright that she wanted to be the one I kissed . She wasn't grossed out at all she what ? Jealous ? Did Adriana have a crush on me ? My emotional immature mind tried to wrap my head around this . This made no sense to me , she was like a sister and I was like her brother . I had been only 6 years old when the Lima family caught on to the fact that my mom was a drunk and Mr dad was a goner . They had since made me a part of their family . Not just in the way that I spend weekends sleeping there but I even had my own sock hanging at Christmas with my name on it . She was my sister practically wasn't she ? Then again ...she wasn't blood related right ? Why is there a flutter in my stomach . Why do I suddenly feel so elated that Adriana was jealous of kissing me ? I seen me and mis Lima walking my way surely ready to scold me for what Adriana saw . I knew they would be disappointed in me : th y wouldn't beat me senseless the way mt dad would if he was still around but they would sure make me feel as guilty . I accepted this . I deserved this . The last thing I'd ever want is to make Adriana cry but I think I deserves it for sometning even darker . The thought of Adriana wanting to kiss me made my heart skip a beat ,