Untitled for now

Jared - 19 years old

Have you even seen something so beautiful it brought actual tears to your eyes ? Maybe a baby being born and held in their mothers arms for the first time . Perhaps a sunrise filled with so many shades of pink and orange that it takes your breath away .The sight that did it for me was watching Adriana walk into the banquet hall on her 16th birthday . She was wearing a light pink satin evening gown that hugged her body. Her long dark brown hair was down in waves surrounding her face . She was wearing make up for the first time that I had ever seen .It was subtle yet made her look like she could've passed for my age . She even wore 6 inch white open toe heels that she was clearly walking in for the first time .
It had been over a week since I last seen her . Being that we usually see each other every single day it had felt like months . I had to keep my distance from the Lima household as it felt like the entire family was losing their minds and stressing about the big event . Adriana's sweet 16 . Each of the family members were assigned several task in order to make the big day happen smoothly . They even had Tyler creating floral center pieces in his bedroom.
It's no surprise that the family were going to go all out for their only daughters big day . People with this amount of money treat sweet 16s like a wedding day years before the actual wedding day comes . They had rented out The Windsor court which was a 5 star hotel just a 30 minute drive away from our town . They even reserved an entire floor of rooms for their guest to stay in . Tyler and I even got to share a penthouse suite . Only catch was that it was connected to Adrian's suite where she would be staying with a few of her girl friends .
The idea was that Tyler and I keep our eyes on the girls to keep them out of trouble . There would be absolutely no boys sneaking into their room and we would be the ones to make sure of it .The Limas had the same expectation for the duration of the party . We were to keep our eyes on the " kids " and make sure no one was sneaking in alcohol or getting drinks from the open bar that was available for people of age . Since we weren't of age yet they assigned us this job so that they can enjoy their time without having to worry . In other words they paid for the party which earns them the right to get shit faced drunk and enjoy themselves . Judging by the smell of whiskey coming off of Mr Lima before Adriana even made her grand entrance , I could tell it was goin to be a hell of a night .
Normally whenever the Limas asked me for anything at all I would comply with no question . It was the least I can do to repay them . They had been so good to me throughout the years and even more so recently . For Tyler's 18 birthday they had purchased him a month long recording session in a well known music studio with help from a well known producer . I was invited along for the rides . With me on vocals , Tyler on guitar , and our two newly acquired band mates on bass and drums we were officially a band . The help from the studio really toke our music to another level and we were even getting some plays from the local rock station . It seemed like our careers as musicians were really going to happen and we had Tyler's parents to thank . The least I could do is make sure their daughter sweet 16 went smoothly . If only I could take my eyes off the birthday girl .
Tyler and I are seated with the immediate family table facing the dance floor .My eyes never leave her. She's mesmerizing . The way she dances to the beat of the music the Dj plays . Her perfect body swaying back and forth as she belts out the music .The way she is when she's around her closest friends makes me smile to myself . She has a real goofy side and I always see her friends cracking up at her antics . Around the boys she's a little more reserved and gives off a mysterious vibe. I can tell they want her and she pretends she doesn't notice . Around her family members she's warm and loving . Constantly giving hugs and personally thanking them for coming . She's amazing.I could watch her all night.
After Happy birthday is sung and the dessert is served , the bar calls for last call .I laugh when I see Mr and Mrs Lima so drunk they can barely walk so they just hold on to each other and somehow make it to the bar counter to order their last drink .
The D.j begins to slow down the music and dim the lights . Older couples who had steered clear from the dance floor for most of the night begin to make their way down to slow dance with their partners. I notice some of the 16 year olds awkwardly wrap their arms around each others waist copying what they had seen in movies since they had never slow danced in real life before . I was amused at the sight till I notice a boy walk up to Adriana who looked like she was just making her way off the dance floor . I noticed him earlier in the night hanging around Adriana. I had to admit . He was handsome . Blond , blue eyed, nice pale blue suit and tie . He looked like he was built like a football player . He might even be the quarter back ,
He is of course asking her to dance . I notice him shift his weight from foot to foot probaly nervous . She has a big smile on her face as she places her hand on his shoulder . I'm about to look away unable to handle the sight when she looks up and looks directly at me . We lock eyes ,
I suck in a breath and nod . I assume it was her way of asking me if it's okay if she dances with the teenage Ken doll . Who was I to say no?
Since the day at the beach where we confessed our love for each other only for the night to end in an awkward fight we had still kept seeing each other . We just couldn't stay away . We still snuck out lying to everyone about where we are and meet at our spot at the beach .We had done a lot more kissing and some light touching but we never went further then that . I wanted to more then anything but there were so many things standing in the way of getting to that point .
For starters I had turned 19 which put an even greater age gap between us and it didn't sit right with me that she was only 15 . The next biggest obstacle was my best friend . The band was really doing well and deepened our bond tremendously. I thought about telling him about the feelings I had for his sister but every time I tried I choked up . The thought of him throwing me out the band or worse ending our friendship always stopped me . He seems to always find a way to make it clear of how he felt about our mutual friends checking out his sister and calling them creeps because she was so young . I'm not sure if it was my guilty conscience or what but at times it seemed like he looked directly at me when he would go on his moral rants . Then there was the biggest factor that I just didn't feel good enough for her . I had lost my virginity at only 12 and not in a romantic way at all . I had plenty of casual sex in high school and if I'm being honest it made me feel dirty . I mean I hadn't touched another girl since Adriana and I kissed but I still felt like a sleaze ball sometimes . Maybe she was better off being with the quarter back .
Just as I'm about turn away unable to watch her slow dance with someone else I notice her still looking at me. She smiles and I notice Ken doll
Is walking away . She must've said no ,
I'm not sure what got into me in that moment but I feel my legs staring to make moves . My brain doesn't catch up with my body till im standing in front of Adriana . Her smile never left as she reaches out her hand for me to grab . As if rehearsed I reach for it and pull her closer to me . My other hand around her waist and she wraps both arms around my neck . I lean into her ear to tell her how beautiful she looks tonight . I even lightly kiss her neck unable to stop myself . I see the goosebumps rise on her skin .We begin to dance .
It could be my imagination but it feels like the room becomes still and all eyes are on us . I am a close family friend so I don't think it should be too alarming that we're slow dancing . Perhaps I'm standing too closeToo much physical contact . My hands found their way to the open back of her dress and my fingertips graze her bare skin . Our hips align and slightly brush against each other ,I look into arias eyes and I swear they sparkle , I realize I no longer care . She is the love of my life and today is the big day she turns 16 . If there's anyone's arms she should be in . It should be me . I can protect her. Care for her. Love her .
The song ends and the dj thanks everyone for coming out . Adriana and I reluctantly pull away from each other as her family and friends start to sworm her to say their goodbyes .I'm watching her with a smile before I barely register the way Tyler is  shooting daggers into me from across the room . Since I'm feeling brave i feel maybe this is the right time to tell him how I feel . There's no denying the chemistry between me and Adriana . I'm sure the whole room felt it. What's the point of denying anymore ?
  As I make my way through the crowd to go confront Tyler I felt an aggressive tug on my arm turning me around .
" can I have a word with you ?" I hear a voice so slurred I can barely recognize that it's Mr.Lima .
It comes off as more of a command then a question as I'm not being dragged off by the elbow into the corner of the room where it was a bit more quiet ,
" take a seat " he says and I think he should take his own advice as he's swaying back and forth . He remains standing while I sit down . Power move .
" You know what son I had a feeling this day would come .I didn't know it would happen on my daughters big day and for that I'm pretty fucking pissed off about buddy .it's disrespect is what it is ".
I swallow and remain quiet . I wait for him to elaborate on what he's talking about or to at least start making sense . He leans in a little too close for my liking and starts to speak in a low voice ,
" you know I love you like your my own son and just like with my own son sometimes you assholes need a taste of some hard love so listen to me straight ."
I think I stop breathing. Mr Lima has always been a very composed man . On the outside he's the typical  tall dark handsome , well dressed , and  slightly intimidating due to his success , business man . But inside he's always been a loving , dad joke telling , giant teddy bear family man .Sure I've seen him lose it a few times On Tyler and Adriana throughout the years but he always did it in a loving fatherly way . This drunk tough guy persona is a version of him I never seen before and can honestly say I never want to see again .
He continues .
" You and my little girl ? Yeah that's never going to happen . Do you hear me ? It's never going to happen . I toke you from the little child who mommy was too drunk to deal with and I help raised you into a man . I must have went wrong somewhere along the way because what I see in front of me tonight is no man . I see a pathetic little boy with sticky fingers . You watched that little girl turn into a teenager and you have the audacity to lust after her . Don't you dare try to deny it the way I've been denying it for years . The way you look at her . It's disgusting . She looks at you like a brother and you should be as ashamed of yourself as I am of you . When  my little girl ends up with someone it will someone from a good family . You hear me ?  Someone raised right .I'm not sharing any grandkid with no drunk . Do you hear me ? "
I can do nothing but nod . My fingers turn white from gripping the chair .
" don't ever make me have this conversation with you again " he says .
Before I can respond a family member approaches and Mr Limas demeanor changes immediately . He's back to making jokes and giving hand shakes and he looks back at me once to nod . His way of dismissing me .
I stand up from the chair glad that my legs don't give you as I'm suddenly feeling faint . I've never been much of a crier as I've learned to deal with heavy stuff very young . Still the words said to me by the closest thing to a father figure lingers in my ears and I feel off balance. I blink and realize my eyes had filled up with tears . I avoid eye contact with everyone I pass to make my way out the hall . Even Adriana .
I'm thankful that Tyler had given me my own suite room key as I'm in no mood to talk to him and hear the lecture he probably has for me too .I just want to go in the room and lay down and sit with the pain that I feel in my chest . I guess women aren't the only ones who can break your heart .
  I turn the door knob for the suite and immediately hit with the sound of loud giggling . I see Tyler has already made his way upstairs . He's accompanied by one of Adriana's friends . They are sitting on the couch in the room .Her heels are off and she's taking sips from a water bottle that's most likely not h20.His hand is halfway up her dress and she's clearly nervously laughing at something he said . So much for his moral ground of older guys not creeping on younger girls . I'm not even sure this girl has had a sweet 16 of her own yet .
I clear my throat to make my presence known . Tyler looks up and smirks . Guess he's not too angry with me . He whispers something in the girls ear and she nods and starts to put her heels on .
" hey man thought it would be awhile before you got up here but since you're here now . You mind being on kid duty while me and ..." he pauses as he clearly forgot this girls name .
" Amber " I say . Adriana and Amber had just became friends two months before when they were paired together for a chemistry project . I know this because everything Adrianas says I listen to with intent .
" yeah me and Amber are going to spend the rest of the night in our own room so you think you can hold down the fort ? Make sure the girls don't get too out of hand. No boys ."He says and nods his head towards the connecting door where pretty soon Adriana and 4 of her closest friends would be having a sleepover in their own suite .
      He's asking like it's a question but his eyes are saying you better do this for me . I hesitate for a moment contemplating whether or not I should bring up the fact that the girl whose dress he's trying to get into is only 15 . He's 18 and according to him and his rants that would make him a creep . I decide to keep my mouth shut especially since he's not saying anything about me dancing with Adriana. It's probably because he clearly has something else on his mind .
" you got it man ." I say . I'm too tired to even muster up any other words then that . My shoes are off and I'm laying face down in the bed before they even left the room . I hear the door close behind them and sigh into the pillow . I think I would've screamed into it if I didn't hear the girls piling into the room next store . I don't hear any boys so I go back to my pity party.
  I let Mr Limas words repeat in my head . I repeat them so much that I think I have his speech memorized .
Little child who's mommy was too drunk to deal with .
The way you look at her . It's disgusting.
The worst part is that I know he's right . She's not going to end up with me because she shouldn't . She should be with someone better . Someone from a good family . Someone worthy of her .I finally let the tears fall . The last thing I remember before drifting off is wondering if that person she ends up with will love her as much as I do .
My eyes shoot open . It's never a good feeling when you realize you fell asleep with all your clothes on . I sit up in bed and at least take off my suit jacket and start to undo my tie . I try not to think of how Mr Lima helped me tie it in the first place .
The alarm clock in the room glows 3:11am. I take a moment to see what I can hear coming from the girls suite . It sounds quiet . I didn't exactly do the best job of making sure they behaved while I was fast asleep . Whatever they were doing it sounds like they might all be asleep now . I should go check . The last thing I need is Mr Lima even more Angry with me if any of Adriana's friends get themselves into trouble on my watch .
I make my way over to the connecting door and open it just enough to look inside . I guess all the dancing and excitement was enough to knock these girls out cold because I see three girls sprawled out in various stages of deep sleep . One is on the couch open mouthed snoring with her dress still on . The other two on one of the two beds in the room cuddling each other which would have been cute if one wasn't drooling . That's when I see her .
Adriana is sitting up in bed reading with a tiny book light attached to her book .  I bought her the light years ago when she admitted she liked to reread Harry Potter on nights she couldn't sleep . When her parents would see her light on in the middle of the night they would reprimand her since she had school the next day . The little light had been just one of the many secrets we held for each other .
  She was wearing a white babydoll sleep dress and her hair was twisted into a loose single braid hanging over her left Shoulder. She looked every oz of innocent and sexy all at once .my reaction to her was visceral.
I opened the door wider and she looked up with her eyes . Her cheeks instantly flushed ad she wasn't expecting  me to be watching her . A smile forms on her face which encourages me to walk further into the room . I reach her bed and just like with the dance earlier I feel my body act before my mind catches up . I'm leaning down and kissing her lips softly. She gasps in response but kisses me back without hesitation.
I don't know how long we kiss for but one of the girls in the room moves in her sleep bringing me back to reality and reminding me that Adriana and I are not alone . I pull away and stare at her face . Her lips are plump from my own and I find myself immediately hard.
" come with me ." I whisper and I'm grabbing her hand and pulling her out the bed . We tip toe pass the other bed and couch and go through the connecting door and close it behind us . Besides in my fantasies this is the first time Adriana and I are alone in a room with a bed . I knew in the moment that I had kicked off a series of events that can't be undone . I knew and I didn't care .
Immediately my lips find hers and I'm leading her down to the bed .She lays on her back and welcomes my body between her legs . I push her legs further apart with my hands so I can be even closer to her . There is no slowing down once I feel that she isn't wearing anything underneath her dress.
   I'd be lying if I said my focus was strictly on her the way it should have been .  The way her breath was picking up and her kiss becoming deeper was more then enough to hold my attention .  Despite this my mind kept wandering back to memorized speech from Mr Lima earlier that night . You would think that the things he said would have made me hesitate . I should probably be feeling ashamed of myself the way he thinks I should but that wasn't how I was feeling at all . Instead I was hard and eager . I take the bottom of her dress and bunch it up in my fist and pull away only for the few seconds it toke for me to lift it up over her head .
This time the kiss is even more intense . My tongue is pushed as far down into her mouth as I can go the way I intend to be as deep inside her but with my cock . My hands are rubbing , grabbing , caressing her whole body and her mine while I pull away from the kiss . I don't want to break away from her lips but I feel an overwhelming need to see her body .
There she was laying on the bed completely  naked and panting . She looked like a goddess . Breathtaking beautiful .. I think back to Mr Limas words .The way he referred to her as his little girl more then once ,
   She's no little girl . Look at her . Shes a woman with plumb breast and erect nipples that feel amazing in my hands . I take them in my mouth and feel her writhe beneath me . I look up at her  and lightly bite down . She moans in pleasure . Yeah she's no little girl .
  The words  from her father that had filled me with shame now fill me with anger. He thinks I'm not worthy of her . Fuck what he thinks . Let's see what he thinks when I take his little girls virginity . When I break her open . When she's so sore when we're done but I fuck her again anyways. I want to fuck her till she's screaming my name . My name . Jared .That boy with the drunk mom and no place to go for dinner . The one who watched Adriana grow and can no longer hold himself back .
I want her to love it . I want her to orgasm more then once tonight .I need it . I lean down and kiss and suck between her legs feeling and tasting her wetness . I put a finger inside and feel like I could lose my mind with how tight she feels .We had never gotten this far before the most we've ever done as feel each other ip over clothes . A part of me feels like I should stop and make sure she's okay . We've barely spoken more then a few words before I'm now tongue deep in her pussy .Another part of me is running on pure anger and adrenaline and mostly desire . If I slow down now I'll get in my head .if I slow down my conscience will tell me this is wrong .
Her moans sound like music to my ears . There's no way this could be wrong.
" Jared ....Jared . Babe ? Can you just ? Wait ."
I barely hear her over the sound of my tongue and fingers pumping into her . She starts to grab my arm to pull me up . I assume this means she's ready and I lower my pants for the first time realizing I was still dressed in dress pants and a white button down . I hadn't even taken the time to remove my own clothes . I'm holding my dick in my hands ready to find her entrance when I hear her speak again .
" babe do you mind if we just slow down a second ?" She says and I finally notice the tremble in her voice,
She's nervous . Of course she is this is her first time . I was so focused on some kind of revenge to her father that I hadn't taken the moment to realize what a big moment this was for her . Welcome back the shame .
" of course we can " I say and I immediately start to unbutton my shirt and take it off . I put it over her shoulders as I imagined she's feeling vulnerable in this moment . She shakes her head and lets the shirt fall to the ground.  Seeing her still completely naked is not going to help me with slowing down .
" I don't want to stop I'm fine . Trust me I want this .I just want to take a second . "
I nod and sit on the bed next to her and wrap an arm around her shoulder trying my best to keep my eyes on her face .she leans into me and we begin to slow down our breathing .
The reality of the situation starts to hit me . Its her sweet 16 and although she has said that she's ready months ago I'm sure she was expecting some kind of conversation before we just went at it .  I have no excuse for myself so I don't say a word and wait for her to speak .
I hope to God I didn't fuck this up .