Untitled for now

Jared 18 years old

I spray cologne on my chest and pulse points the way Mr.Lima taught me .
" you want the girl you're with to smell it the most when she's laying her head on your chest  watching a movie or something . Just trust me your chances of getting laid are much  higher when you have good hygiene " he had told me and Tyler . I wonder what he would think now knowing I'm using that same tip before I leave to go meet his daughter .
Adriana and I had been sneaking off to spend more time together for the past 8 months . Sometime after Adriana turned 15 and I was filling out college applications , it hit me that my time with Adriana was limited . Pretty soon she would begin dating and probably forget all about the childhood crush she had on her older brothers best friend . Especially since more then half the guys in school were already in love with her .I don't blame them . She might've been 15 but she had a body of a co-Ed playmate . To say she grew into her looks was an understatement. She was stunning and she knew it .
It was no longer possible to ignore the way I felt about her . I could no longer pretend she was like a little sister to me . She actually had started to become way more then that . She started to become my best friend .
It all started when Adriana ran away from home . She had been having fights with her parents on a daily basis . It was the typical teenager fighting for their independence and their parents trying to hold on to the child they once had . This particular incident she had gotten an offer to do some modeling for a local clothing brand and her parents wouldn't let her do it . All the yelling crying slamming bedroom doors and stomping her feet didn't seem to get her anywhere with her parents so she packed a bag and walked out the door . In the moment her parents had almost laughed . They assumed she'd  go to her grandparents or her best friend Kelly's and be back before they even went to bed that night . By the time it hit midnight it occurred to them that she had actually run away and they didn't know where she was . This was when Tyler called me to help him go around and look for her . My stomach dropped when I got the call and I practically sprinted towards my old Jeep .The thought of Adriana being " missing " in anyway sent my whole body into a panic . My hand was already shaking when I put my keys into the ignition but I went into complete shock when I heard someone clear their throat . I looked in my rear view mirror and there she was . Adriana was laying on her back in my Jeep with her black hoodie up and headphones in and eyeliner running from crying . She looked every bit the definition of teenage angst to the point I laughed .I was probably more laughing out of relief that she was okay and not missing .
" are you laughing at me ?" She had said which only caused me to laugh harder . After a few seconds she joined me . The lecture about her running away and how everyone was so worried would come later . I knew in the moment what she needed wasn't a lecture . It was someone to talk to . I felt flattered that out of anywhere she could have gone she was in my car .
We talked for hours that night . About her parents . Their expectations . About her dreams and the life she wanted for herself . I shared some of my own struggles . I ended up telling her more details about my home life then even Tyler knew . At the time I thought it was because I was trying to show her how worse it could be in other households . I know now that it was just because she was easy to open up to . We connected on a level j never had with anyone and I felt comfortable telling her about my life . 
  We become each others confidants that night and every night after . We knew her brother and parents wouldn't like the idea of us being so close so we started to sneak around . She would  say she was at Kelly's and I made up a pretend girlfriend from another school that I was seeing . We would meet up in my keep and drive around , sometimes we'd end up at the beach and sit in the sand and talk to the sun came up . Other times we went to get fast food and just sit in the parking lot. Whatever we did together  we always had the best time .she had become my best friend . I had hoped she had no clue I was in love with her .
My feelings for her were becoming increasingly harder to deny. Sometimes when we hung out and she would light brush against my arm I'd be in agony . I wanted to reach out and touch her so many times , I wanted to kiss her . I Almost lost it when she would casually tell me about any guys in school she was attracted to . I decided that I would tell her how I would feel .I was definitely afraid of ruining the friendship we built . I was even more afraid of getting caught by her parents or brother . The biggest fear of all though was if she still had that crush on me and I put myself in the friend zone by never making a move . It would have been the biggest loss of my life to not tell her how I'm feeling .
I finished applying cologne and using gel to spike my hair in the front . Adriana said it looked good that way once and I toke note . I put on a plain white shirt and jeans and hoped it gave me the all American classic handsome look I was going for . I wasn't too much of a self conscious person but that night knowing I was going to make my move made me start to overthink everything . I grabbed my backpack which I had packed with a blanket and some of our favorite snacks so that we can hang out at the beach . On the outside to her it would probably look like any other night that we hung out but to me it could be the start or end of something beautiful.
I got into my Jeep and headed towards Kelly's block . Adriana always made the lie extra believable by taking her car to drive to Kelly's and leave it parked there . That way if anyone drove by they would think that's where she's at .
I pull into the block and see her cars already there and she's sitting in the driver seat waiting for me . My heart begins to pound hard and i wonder why I'm doing this to myself , I could just keep going on hanging out with her till I eventually go off to college or maybe if me and Tyler's band get signed and we go off on tour . I could continue pretending that just this friendship with her is enough . In some ways it really is enough , I'm happier around her then doing anything else in the world . My teenage brain can't help but think how amazing it would be if we added sex into the mix .
I pull in behind her signaling for her to get out the car to come into mine . Since I'm trying to turn this regular hangout into something romantic I decide I should I get out the car and open the door for her , I realize that's a mistake when she looks at me like I have ten heads .
" thanks ?" She says as if it's a question ,
Wow I'm already fucking this up .
She gets into the car and I get back to the driver seat , I don't want her to see how nervous I am so I briefly glance at her before I start driving , I smile to myself when I see she's wearing a shirt black maxi dress , maybe we're in the same wave length after all , maybe there's something in the air signaling that the air between us is different now . This is starting to feel like a date more than a hang out .
" ugh what girl left her cheap smelling perfume stench in your car ?" She says as she kicks off her flip flops and places her feet on the dash .
Maybe I read the room wrong after all .
" hey ! It's me actually . It's cologne . It's some bottle one of my moms boyfriends left behind . Is it that bad ?"
She laughs and nods .
" why are you wearing cologne anyways ? Trying to impress the chick from the drive thru ?"
She teases .
No I'm trying to impress you .
" I smoked one of my moms cigarettes in here and didn't want to hear your mouth about it !" I lie and tease back ,
" Ew Jared ! You know how I feel about those things . They give you cancer and shorten your life . Who am I going to tell all my problems too and eat my body weight in fries with if you croak on me !"
" cancers not getting me ! Not yet anyways . I need to at least hear my song on the radio then j can die happy. " I say . Adriana's the only one I can openly talk to about my dreams of being a famous musician without being embarrassed.
" speaking of your songs ...I can't stop listening to that mix you made me .your voice has really improved and I'm not just saying that because you're my friend . Those lessons my parents got you are seriously working so we'll , you have this crazy natural talent and then with the technique you're learning it legit gave me chills ! " she says but too bad I stopped listening after she referred to me as her friend .
The drive to beach is only 15 minutes but I spent most of it zoned out trying to decide how I can get myself out of this friend zone and if it's even the right thing to do . Will her parents think I'm a creep for being an 18 year old who what's to be with a 15 year old ? Isn't that illegal ? I mean I just turned 18 that has to count for something. Im not sure if the fact I've known her for most of my life makes it better or worse . Will everyone think I'm a creep ? Is 15 really still a child ?
I park the car when we get theee and start to feel guilty that I hadn't really listened to a word Adriana said as I was lost in my own thoughts . I usually hang on everything she says like my life depends on it but I just can't get my thoughts straight . I need to spit this out .
We get out the car , take off our shoes , and start to walk in the sand to our usual spot . She stopped talking because I guess she sensed my mood . I meant to make this night romantic and I'm already making it awkward .
In silence we reach the part of the beach where a pier connects to a row of rocks that go out into the water . This spot has the best view of ( I need to figure out beach names and stuff for whatever town this is going to take place in lol ) . I start to unpack the blanket and socks and feel even more awkward when I pull out the bottle of red wine I had stolen from my moms bedroom .  At the time I packed it I thought it would add to the romance but I feel as if it's just adding to making this night weird .
I sit down and look out the ocean . I feel stressed and want to just open this bottle of wine and start chugging but I made a vow to never use alcohol as a crutch like my mom . I'm willing to drink wine to celebrate sometning lovely , such as two friends falling in love with each other , but not when I'm sad and stressed and feeling unworthy ,
" what's wrong ?" Adriana says finally breaking the silence . She's sitting next to me as a I look out and I can tell she's looking right at me wairinr for me to look her in the face .
" Adriana . I don't know how to say this but I think I'm in love with you ".
I didn't know that's what I was going to say till it was out of my mouth . My plan was to tell her i was beginning to catch feelings and if she wasn't receptive I'd tell her it was totally cool . Now I went and poured my heart out in one sentence .
I expected a long awkward silence while she toke in what I said but instead she responded right away .
" you think you do? That's weird Jared because for me ? I know . I've always known ." She says and in left confused . She knows what ? That I love her ? As if reading my mind she continues .
" I've always known I'm in love with you . So if you're only just thinking you feel that way maybe you should wait to tell me when you know for shre "
I turn to her and study her face and let her words fall over me . She's in love with me too . I guess that Crush she had as kids has never went away and the last few months we've been kidding ourselves thinking's we're getting closer as friends . We've been getting closer as lovers .
" Adriana I know it . I only said I think because I wasn't sure how you were gonna react ."
" you weren't sure how I was gonna react ? Jared I've been pining after you since I knew what a boy was ! Nothings changed for me " she says with a smile and I finally relax enough to smile back .
I take a moment to hear the waves crashing in front of us . The sound of the wind . The feeling of sand underneath my toes and most importantly the look on the girl of my dreams face .I want to remember this moment forever as I lean down and plant my lips on hers .
This is what true love feels like isn't it ?