half crazy- d.m.

daisy

please read the trigger warnings before reading
heavily influenced by this song

i got carried away heheh </3

✿ Daisy Weasley ✿

I took up painting.

I wasn't an artist... no, not by any means.

I did take a few classes and watched a few videos on the internet, but I took up painting as a hobby.

It helped me express how I was feeling. I was trying to cope and stay busy with my thoughts. I had been for years.

The slap in the face truth hurt, and I knew it would.

So, picking out acrylic paint colors and using different size paint brushes on freshly white canvases make it sting less.

I don't want to talk about how it felt to wake up in the hospital and realize Draco had left me. I didn't want to talk about how the embarrassment and heartbreak had me questioning my ability to make decisions.

I didn't want to think about how everyone moved on and I felt frozen as time went on. I didn't want to think about how I had to come to terms with the fact that he wasn't there. He wasn't there on the nights that I couldn't breathe and couldn't pick myself up off the floor.

He wasn't not there, and I didn't forget that. I won't ever forget that. I won't ever forgive it, either. I shouldn't have to, and I won't.

But, everything else was dark magic leaving my memories and mascara running down my face type of blurry. A blurry one that made me forget.

It took me a long time to forget the details of Draco Malfoy. I had forgotten how precisely grey his eyes were. I forgot how blonde his hair was. I forgot how broad his shoulders were and how toned his arms looked in his shirts. I forgot that if I was talking, he always listened. Always. I forgot that his lip quivered upward when he was feeling anxious. I had forgotten how he took deep breaths in front of the mirror as an affirmation every morning. Even when he claimed it was nothing.

Pansy's wedding was the first time in years I had remembered what it felt like to be nervously excited to see him.

Five of us lay in matching dark green pajamas on a big bed in Pansy's hotel room. Pansy, instead of wearing traditional white, wore black everything. Typical of her.

We spent the whole day doing bachelorette activities in Southern France. Pansy, Daphne, Astoria, Milly, and Kendall, Pansy's friend from University, spent the whole weekend drinking, shopping, going to the beach, picking out stupid magnet souvenirs that we would put on our icebox to commemorate this trip.

"You're not going to ask," Pansy sighed suddenly after there was a lull in the conversation. Astoria, Milly, and Kendall had already gone to bed in their separate rooms. "And I know you want to, Daisy."