half crazy- d.m.

thirty

I'm so sorry for the lack of updates. I took a much-needed break from writing and then had a terrible mental block. I'm going through a lot personally and I know it had affected my writing and updates.

I appreciate all your nice comments and messages while I was away! <3

not my best update chapter but i promise i'll get back into it with longer and better worded content!

half crazy: six years later

✿ Daisy Weasley ✿

I wish I had a time machine. Not for the reasons someone might want one. I wanted to go back and erase my mind of every thought I ever had.

At sixteen, I thought I was depressed. At that age, I had been at Hogwarts for years... I dated and broke up with Dean Thomas.... I was behind in all my classes. I was kicked out of friend groups and traded among my parents like chess pieces. I never really did fit on the board.

I thought I was depressed at eighteen. When the war was over and I had to mourn a group of people at once. When I dated the hottest boy in school and he broke my heart by leaving and not saying a word. When I searched for him at graduation and he didn't show. When there was no trace of him and no one knew anything either.

I thought I was depressed a year after that, when I anxiously ripped my red hair out living at my parents house. When I couldn't work to save money. When I spent every night crying on the bathroom floor, next to the same orange footed bathtub that my twin brother found me nearly dead in.

I thought I was depressed then, but this is now. Now is worse.

I hadn't talked to my school friends in years. I don't speak to my family anymore. Mum checks in, but I'm always pushing her off as I'm busy. It's not the same any longer.

The envelope in my hand made me tremble, and my eyes felt watery- too much crying even to think it was real.

I felt guilty, even though it was my life to live. And I swear to god; I'd look down at the burning raised scar on my left forearm from when I tried to end my life and felt as if it was yesterday.

There was a deep, almost angry yell from the hallway that stopped me from re-reading the beautiful colored paper over and over again, "Daisy! You do work today, right?"

I tried not to make any sudden movements. It's not that I was hiding the envelope from him.. It's just that I didn't want him to tell me I couldn't go.

He wouldn't understand, and I wouldn't fight with him about it today.. Especially when I was already pushing my limits going out with my friend tonight. Hannah didn't like him and he didn't like... anybody.

I couldn't do another thing wrong. I wanted to be good again. I was never good enough for him.

"Yeah, I do," I called back, hoping that would be an appropriate response for him. But, of course.. It wasn't. It never was. He always wanted more answers, and I never had the energy to give it to him.

He took it from me, though. No matter how many times I said no. You can take your twist on what the words mean because, spelled plainly, it wouldn't be okay.

I mentally burned and buried the thoughts of my old life as I waited around.. like my phone would be ringing for him to call as he promised.