New Beginnings

Act 7 ch 5

Tristan, Victoria, Lorelai, Rory and Gigi are sitting at the table dressed in Christmas design clothes  making cranberry and popcorn garlands while Jamie sits in his high chair with baby snacks on his tray.

"Be very careful with your needle" Tristan tells Gigi as he helps her with hers. "I know" she nods.

"Okay because it's really, really pointy" Tristan says. "I know" Gigi repeats. "Okay so, what guidelines did he give you?" Victoria asks her mother.

"None. No guidelines, no guidelines whatsoever" Lorelai answers.

"I'm supposed to write a character reference, so I thought I'd reference his character" she says. "Sounds like you're on the right track" Rory responds.

"No, I'm not because it turns out I can't write" Lorelai tells them. "Oh, sure, you can" Tristan insists. "No, I can't. I stare at the blank page, and I keep staring and staring" Lorelai disagrees.

"And eventually I have to get up and lubricate my eyeballs. Otherwise, they would fall out of my head, like raisins" she says causing Gigi to giggle.

"Well, are you using a pen?" Rory asks. "You can't just stare at the paper. You have to have a writing implement of some kind" she tells her mother.

"Look" Gigi shows what she's done. "Very pretty, honey" Victoria looks. "Hey what a good job" Rory says.

"You know what I really like? Your cranberry-to-popcorn ratio" Lorelai tells her stepdaughter.

"Most people do one on one ratio, but I'm like you. I like a lot of cranberry, little popcorn thrown in for flair" Lorelai continues before turning her attention back to the college kids. "I have a writing implement. The problem is that everything I write sounds so schmucky" she complains.

"I'm sure that's not true" Tristan replies. "We're running low on cranberries" Rory notices. "Luke Danes is a highly regarded member of this community. Not an ill word can be spoken of Mr. Danes" Lorelai tells them what she wrote.

"It's like I'm some documentary narrator from the history channel. And you know what phrase I keep using?" she continues.

"Stand-up. Luke Danes is a stand-up guy" Lorelai mocks herself. "He's an upstanding member of stars hollow, a real stand-up citizen. People are gonna think he's turned into a comedian" she says.

"Sounds like you're over thinking this. Maybe if you just put pen to paper" Victoria suggests. "I tried that, I thought, I'll just sit down and write whatever comes-no judgment, no inner critic. Boy was that a bad idea" Lorelai replies. "Really? Why?" Rory asks.

"Because my brain is a wild jungle full of scary gibberish" Lorelai answers.

"I'm writing a letter. I can't write a letter" she starts her mind jungle. "Why can't I write a letter? I'm wearing a green dress" Lorelai continues.

"I wish I was wearing my blue dress. My blue dress is at the cleaners" Lorelai keeps going. "The Germans wore gray. You wore blue" she tells herself. "Casablanca. Casablanca is such a good movie" Lorelai says.

"Casablanca. The white house" she makes a connection.

"Bush. Why don't I drive a hybrid car?" Lorelai asks herself. "I should drive a hybrid car. I should really take my bicycle to work" she's completely off track.

"Bicycle. Unicycle" Lorelai says. "Unitard. Hockey puck" she continues. "Rattlesnake. Monkey, monkey, underpants" Lorelai finally finished as Gigi giggles again.

"Hockey puck, rattlesnake, monkey, monkey, underpants?" Tristan questions get brain.

"Exactly, that's what I'm saying. It's a big bag of weird in there" Lorelai replies. "So, I think I need inspiration. You know I need a muse" she suggests.

"Perhaps I need the muse. Maybe it would help if Sharon Stone would appear to me in an alarming caftan and coo inspirational words in my ear" Lorelai rambles again. "Just write what you feel. That's all writing is" Rory tells her.

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At the Gilmore mansion, Victoria, Lorelai, Rory, Richard, Emily and Chris approach the front door.

"So the hunter comes out of the tent, looks around, and says, ah, very well then, now where's that gorilla?" Richard says causing everyone to laugh. "Well now you've heard dad's big game-hunter-and-the-gorilla joke. You're officially part of the family" Lorelai tells her husband.

"It's not too late to back out" Victoria says. "Yes, Richard, I beg you-get some new material" Emily begs. "I actually like the joke, and the family is not bad either. Thanks for a great meal, Emily" Christopher tells her.

"Yes thank you, grandma" Rory thanks her.

"You're quite welcome. Did you really like the meal?" Emily asks. "It was incredible, grandma" Victoria assures her.

"Your grandfather and I were served it on our recent trip to Mexico, and I insisted that Bridget find the recipe" Emily explains. "Well, she found it" Lorelai says. "Yeah tell that Bridget that it was a triumph" Rory tells her grandmother.

"Mm-hmm" Victoria hums in agreement.

"It's the tequila-cactus sauce that makes it special" Emily tells them. "So special" Lorelai says having hated it.

"Really just great" Victoria nods. "Well, young ladies, I'll see you around the campus" Richard tells his granddaughters. "Yes, you will" Victoria replies.

"Oh and Lorelai, it turns out that I have an emergency D.A.R. Board meeting on Tuesday, so I won't be able to get together to finalize the seating chart for the party" Emily says.

"No seating-chart get-together? How will I live?" Lorelai says sarcastically. "I'll help you get through it" Chris tells her.

"Christopher, are you sure you can't stay for a cigar?" Richard asks. "Dad, we really have to get going" Lorelai tells him. "She's right, but maybe I could get a Montecristo to go" Christopher suggests.

"Oh, nice try, nice try" Richard laughs.

"I thought I'd give it a shot" Chris shrugs.

"Another time for cigars" Emily says. Everyone says their goodbyes before Victoria, Rory, Lorelai, and Christopher exit.

"Oh, my god. I thought for sure grandma saw me put mine in here" Victoria pulls a napkin out of her purse. "How could so tiny a quail have such a big, awful taste?" Lorelai asks. "I think the sauce burned through my napkin" Rory says.

"And now we just throw it in the bushes?" Chris asks.

"No, no, no..." Victoria stops him. "No" Rory yells.

"We tried that before" Lorelai explains. "The chicken Kiev. The Baklava too, the neighbor's cat found it and dragged it to the back patio" Victoria remembers. "So busted" Rory says.

"Alright so how do we get rid of it?" Christopher asks them.

"We take it with us in the car" Lorelai answers. "Then we give it the old heave-ho over Tyler's bridge. Got to make sure we get every piece in the water, though" Victoria adds.

"Oh yeah one stray piece of Quail, and grandma will have the river dragged" Rory says. "We need something to weigh them down. How attached are you to that watch?" Lorelai asks looking at Chris' wrist.

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Another dramaless somewhat boring chapter, but you know what comes next?
A heart attack