Would It Matter // Rick Grimes

Chapter 79

Helena and Nathan were asleep near us. Rick wanted me to sleep but I couldn't get to sleep so I'm sitting beside him with my head on his shoulder.

"Are you okay Sydney?" Rick asked.

"Yeah." I said. "I just...I don't know how to describe it." I said. "I guess I'm worried about everyone back in Alexandria. I know I caused Daryl to get worried. I know maybe I should've stayed there but I couldn't. I got tired of sitting back instead of looking for you. He was out there looking for you to try to help me. Because when I saw you weren't with me, I got depressed. I didn't talk to anybody for awhile. Daryl got me out of it. He got me to talk and I'm grateful he did. He was there for me when you disappeared. He didn't like me getting out of his sight because he was scared what I was going to do." I said.

He didn't say anything just squeezed my arm a little bit.

"I know it's killing him that he can't come help us. I know how much he wants to. You're his brother. A brother he's always needed in his life. I don't know what I am to him but I know he's part of our family. I didn't tell him I was leaving to find you. I only told Carol. I wanted her to keep Daryl from looking for me and that I needed to do this on my own even if it was risky. I needed to do it. I needed to find you." I said.

"I know he understands that." He said.

"But I'm not sure we should go back to Alexandria quite yet." I said.

"Why not?" He asked.

"When I left, we were dealing with a group called the Whisperers." I said. "They're worse than all the other groups in my opinion." I said.

"Who are the Whisperers?" He asked.

"They're a group that disguises themselves as walkers. And they even walk among them." I said. "It's hard to tell which is the human and which is the walker. The group took me once or twice. Gave me a concussion, stabbed me in the leg and probably more but I can't remember since my head was hit." I said.

He didn't say anything just pulled me closer, if it was possible.

"I'm sorry I wasn't there to help you." He said.

"Don't apologize Rick. I got through it and I'm still here. So are you. Right now, that's all that matters." I said. "All that matters right now, is that we're together again and I won't let you go again. I won't be able to handle it." I said, looking at him.

"You won't lose me again." He said.

"How do you know that? I don't trust those words anymore because every time someone says that, they either leave or die." I said. "I'm not saying I don't trust you because I do, it's just that I lost too many people to believe it." I said.

"I understand Sydney." He said. "I love you." He said.

"I love you too." I said, smiling.

I sat in his lap and put the side of my head against his shoulder with my arms wrapped around his neck. He leaned his head against mine and rubbed my back up and down.

After awhile I fell asleep in his arms.

Rick's POV:

I heard a quiet snore coming from Sydney which brought a smile to my face. I missed hearing her little snores. I hated being away from her for six years. I put the back of my head against the tree behind me and closed my eyes. After a little bit I fell asleep.