Lilith (old version)

Chapter 26

Lilith

I start digging up the yard for what's left of me.

The last four days have been a mess, both physically and emotionally. From finding out that Enzo murdered my father and then finding out that he's going to prison for forty-five years, as well as the fact my body is an absolute wreak, it's suffice to say it's been rough. Really, really rough. 

I've been forced to bed rest, and my only grip on sanity is down to Nathan and Jess. Immediately after dropping me off at his house, Nathan went out to Enzo's home to pick up Jess. He hasn't told her the details yet, and neither have I, both deciding not to let her know just what has happened to him yet. It's been difficult to make excuses as to why he's not here, we settled on the idea that he went on a business trip and that we aren't sure when he'll get back. Jess took it surprisingly well, and other than the near constant question of how much longer he'll be away, she's been perfect in every aspect.

Me and her talk a lot, often times about nothing in particular, choosing to let our conversations wander into pointless directions. They're always interesting nonetheless. It's hard to not find Jess incredibly endearing. She just radiates such a joyful energy, and I'd be lying if at times it didn't almost hurt to see a child so happy. But I don't pay too much mind to those thoughts, forcing myself to shove them into the darker corners of my mind. 

Nathan's parents have been in and out, sometimes to check on me, a lot of the time to meet up with social workers. They were of course upset about Enzo being taken away, and they've been distant with me yet not aggressively so, but in a way the situation seemingly worked out for them extraordinarily well. They adore Jess, I mean, who wouldn't? They've been sorting out the legal papers and having the house and their finances checked thoroughly so they can be deemed as responsibly guardians for Jess. By next week, if all goes to plan, they will have officially adopted Jess.

As much as I've been talking to Jess, I've been talking to Nathan twice that amount. However, whilst my conversations with Jess are often lighthearted and meaningless, Nathan is another story. He never pushes me to talk about anything, and never dumps his own emotions on me, but at some point we started growing closer. 

Over the past few days he's become a constant for me both mentally and physically. He also hasn't shown any interest in me romantically, which I've thoroughly appreciated. I've never been friends with a guy before because they always try to make a move, but Nathan seems different. His eyes don't stray away from my face unless to check my injuries, and he only touches me when it's necessary, and never lingering. I feel almost, well, comfortable around him. It's an odd feeling, something I don't remember ever feeling except for briefly with Enzo, but that was different. Even when Enzo stated he would never touch me without permission, and that he was happy to stay friends, I never trusted him. Not fully. But with Nathan, he doesn't even have to specify that, I just know. 

If I'm honest, it's been nice. Really nice. Not to be so lonely. To have someone to talk to, besides Jess of course. There's a barrier between me and her, both with the fact that she's Enzo's sister and although I know it shouldn't, the feeling of betrayal lingers on her even though she has no idea what her brother did. But not just that, it's also the fact that she's a literal child. I can't talk to her about anything truly important, but with Nathan I know I can. Not that I want to, but I like knowing the option is there.