If I Lose Myself

Catalina

My dad was right about Monster loving to cuddle, he has been laying down on the bed with me. It was like he knew something was wrong because from time to time he would lick my face clean of tears. He was a big dog too he took up half the bed. But it was okay because I just threw my leg over him. I was having a hard time falling asleep because every time I closed my eyes all I saw was Tim.

Rolling to my back Monster lifted his head up looking at my door. Soon after I heard a roar of a bike. I was glad Monster stayed with me, even when the front door opened and closed followed by footsteps. A low growl come for Monster as he moved a little bit more to get in a better angel. When my door started to open slowly he started to bark scaring the hell out of me.

"Enough," my dad's voice filled the room Monster laid down on the bed relaxing. "Are you up baby girl?"

"Yeah," even though I didn't have to whisper I did anyways.

"Want to go me join me in the kitchen? I stopped at the store and got a few thing," I threw the covers off me and walked out the door following my dad into the kitchen.

I smiled when he had a salad set on the island. "You didn't have to buy me anything right now. It's late."

"You didn't eat this morning and by the looks of it, you didn't make anything. So at least just eat a little bit."

Nodding I started to eat the salad and I hadn't realized how hungry I was till I started to eat. Because when I was done I was wishing there was more. Grabbing the water on the table taking a small sip. When I looked at my dad he was just staring at me. I thought that maybe that I had something on my face when I checked there was nothing.

"What?"

"Nothing, I just haven't seen you in years. It's like I turn around and now here you are almost grown." Something crossed his eyes making me feel bad again.

"I'm sorry I didn't press mom to let me come over."

"It's okay baby. Your mother can be a handful."

"No, it was not fair to you. You're my dad just as much as she was my mom." I shook my head. "She had no right to say you can't see me because last time I check. There is no court papers." My dad started too chuckled in his seat "What's so funny?

"Nothing baby, it's just you remind me so much of myself when I was younger." I smiled a little looking down at my empty blow. "So I was thinking about taking you to go get your papers from school. So you can transfer out here then stop by your mom's to get things you want from your old room."

At the mention of going back to my mom's scared me, I did not want to see Tim it would be very bad. "I don't want to go to mom's. Please don't make me do it."

"Tim is not going to be there. He's not going to be bothering you anymore. I had a talk with your mother too. She agreed to let you stay here the remainder of your schooling and she said something about you wanting to go to the art college here."

"Mom's alive?" My voice was very hopeful but what if he was feeding me a lie. Just to make me feel better.

"Yeah, she got a little roughed up but she is alive." It was like a big weight was taking off my shoulders.

"And Tim?"

"Don't worry about where he is. He is no longer a worry for you," I just nodded not sure what to say to that. My eyes landed on what he was wearing.

"So you're in a Motorcycle Club?"

"Yes, I am. Ever since I was eighteen."

"You know, I came here to get away from men who scare me. Not to just walk right in the path of big scary bikers."