If I Lose Myself

Catalina

Cam and I sat down in front of Titus as we waited for him to start talking. He was deep in thought as we sat there. Casting my eyes to Cam, he gave me a half shrug. Looking back to Titus I found him looking at me already.

"I'm not avoiding you, I just need to some time to think some things over." He started then looked to Cam. "Dad is coming, I've tried to talk him out of it but he won't take no for an answer."

My body froze when he mention their dad because he was related to Tim. Without thinking I gripped Cam's hand, he moved a little closer and rubbed my shoulder lightly. "W-what does that mean?" I looking down at my lap.

"He is only coming because of Tim. He said that he was looking for him." Titus let out a tired sighed. "I talked to your dad and we agreed that as long as our dad is in town, someone from the club is going to be with you. I would be that person but that would lead my dad to you."

I gave a small nodded, as long as he doesn't know that I have a connection to Tim, then I should be okay right? I have my dad, Bo, and the club behind me. I trusted them and that was something new for me. I never trusted anyone because I was too scared but now I have this new confident. A smile formed on my lips and I flung myself at Titus.

He grunted but caught me. My whole body weight came at him it made me giggle a little. "Thank you," I whispered. He wrapped his arms around me.

"For you what?" He replied as I pulled away.

"For being there for me, even when I was going through my phase." I looked down but then smiled again. "I finally have the family that I always wanted."

Something passed through his eyes it was almost like he was proud. He stood up and pulled me back into a hug while grabbed Cam by the collar of his shirt pulling him into the hug as well. "Blood or not we are a family," Titus replied kissing the crown of my head and Cam's forehead.

Just as Titus was about to walk out the room Cam started to talk. "Can I stay at Catalina's while he's here? I don't want to see him."

Cam's hands went into fists at his side as he talked. I felt bad about this because this was their dad, I only felt half of what they are feeling because Tim was my step-dad. I rested my head on Cam's shoulder and hugged him close. His body relaxed a little but you can tell that he was still tense.

"I'm sure my dad wouldn't mind," I said smiling up at him. He gave a nod and said that he was going to pack a bag.

After a while, we found ourselves in my backyard. Bo was doing something with his dad, I was happy that they made up and that was something I needed to do. Monster came and laid down with Cam and I, as I was petting him my mind wondered to the stars. I always loved stars.

So pretty and bright!

"How do you do it?" Cam asked glaring up at the night sky. "How did you get over everything you been through."

"Well running away and moving in with my dad help." I started. "It wasn't easy, look how long it took for me to trust you guys. How long it took me to overcome some things." It was quite for a few minutes as I thought of more things to say. "Talking to Dr. Hill helped too, but I realized that in a blink of an eye everything can change. So why shouldn't I let the past destroy me?"

"I fucking hate me, dad." Cam sneered clinching his fists again. "He is nothing but a deadbeat, I wish the club would just take him out."

I gaped at him, this was the first time I have ever seen Cam this mad. He was always such a carefree guy, so seeing him like this hurts me. He was the one who never gave up on me. Well other than Bo and everyone else. He helped cheer me up when I needed a pick me upper. Looking over at him I laid my head on his shoulder.