The Mercer Pack Series

Chapter Ten

Reaching our dorm room after a long drawn out lecture my mind is spinning.

'Do I really want to talk to him right now? Or wait till later when my brain doesn't feel like mush.'

Opening the door my eyes land on Derek who is digging through his papers, my heart clenches and for a moment I nearly turn around to run. But it's all to late, getting up off his bed he takes my arm and pulls me into the room. My heart is pounding against my eardrums, I shouldn't be freaking out it's not like I like him, Do I?

***

Derek's P.o.v

"Okay, I don't know how to bring this up so I'm just going to say it okay?" Taking a cautious breath my fingers pulling his button up sleeve, his feet following until I had his back facing his bed. "Take a seat." Releasing his sleeve, he falls back against his mattress eyes looking down his mind seeming to wander. "First thing first." I spoke hoping to catch his attention his eyes snapping up to meet mine the look on his face giving his emotions away all too quickly. "Alright, first I would like to apologize for something that I should have apologized for a long, LONG time ago."

Leaning forward, I lay my hand on his knee catching his eyes quickly as they snap from my face to my hand. His shoulders rigid as his throat bobbed the anxiety running down his shoulders in waves.

"You remember back in Junior year? When Garrett, I and a bunch of other idiots locked you in the gym?" I pause Newtons shoulders rising a bit as his eyes never leave my hand. "I know you hate talking about it, but I want to explain my side. Why I helped." Lifting my hand off his knee, I run them through my hair.

'I had been coming up with how to word everything and now with him sitting right here my mouth is as dry as the Sahara Dessert.'

"Well, you may or may not have reached the part yet, but you sort of get the jest of what I am. What my type of Incubus I really am, what an obsession is and well how it sorts of works." Newton's head slowly nods his eyes clouded between confusion and something else, something I couldn't really read as I continue. "Well, to keep thing short and sweet so I can stop rambling," Taking a deep breath the words fly out of my mouth as quickly as they passed my thoughts. "Iwasobsessedwithyou!"

"W-What?" Newton asked, my heart racing a mile a minute as I try to take another deep breath.

"I- Fuck okay, sorry I just, this is harder to get out then I thought it would. I- I was, still am obsessed with you, and I didn't know how to deal with it back then, so I tried and failed to push you away. Bulling you, hoping it would make it stop make you hate me or something." Throwing my had s up into the air the pounding in my ears makes the world spin my hands shaking as my words came out. "BUT no one, not even my mother told me how hard it is to get an obsession out of your head."

For a long minute he just stared at me, his brain working out what I probably just dumped on him but just as quick as that confusion stayed it twisted into something I should have really expected.

"I killed that night." Newtons words where low as he continued anger wrapping his words every second. "I killed two people because you couldn't figure out your FUCKING FEELINGS?!" Raising from the mattress my feet draw me back with every step he took forward. "I have had nightmares for yours because of YOU!! I lost one of my best friends- I- I killed her because you couldn't figure your shit out!?!" Continuing to yell his arms raise into the air as the back of my knees knock the edge of my bed. "I- I can't fucking believe you?! After all these years you finally tell me and it's all because of that?!"

The tears streaming down his reddening face his nails now dark dig into either side of his head, those deep greens slipping away with every jagged breath.

'That night I hadn't realized what was happening before it was too late. The first bright moon against the dark sky and the blood of Mr. Fain's daughter against his jaw. The night janitors' insides spilled against the floor like party streamers. I had tried to go back, but I was stupid, stubborn.'

The next morning was when the principal found them, the only traces of what could have done it smeared across the gym floor.

"I- I was stupid okay! Young and fucking stupid, I deserve it okay! I- I would have gone back you know that, but-"

"But you didn't! You didn't and I lost years of sleep and strained connection because of it! Nearly killed me!" Those words leave his lips as his fingers pulls from his scalp.

"Repeat? I- I what?"

"You almost killed me! After that night the tether between my wolf and I became so strained I almost snapped in two! I- I finally just allowed it to take control again, it hurt so fucking much." Newton's voice drops significantly as he falls back to the mattress his fingers finding either side of his head once more, those claws digging into his scalp as his eyes swirled about in some type of internal war with himself.

Bending down my mind screams at me to get as far away from the raging wolf as fast as possible, but I can't, I can't leave him like this again. Laying my hand on his knee he starts shaking his head rapidly. Those thoughts running through his head at probably a mile a minute by this point.

'What the hell am I going to do? I'm surprised he stayed roomed with me for this long, hung out with me like we were friends again. Why did I have to bring it up? What have I done?'

***

Newton's P.o.v

'I- I can't deal with this right now, fuck why did he have to bring it up? It was over, buried in the dust that was a horrid accident. All because he couldn't figure out how to tell me he liked me? My head is killing me, I- I got to go out, I got to go do something, anything. Before I do something, I regret.'

Pushing off the floor, I shake off his hand and move towards the door. His footsteps following close behind as my fingers grip the handle, whipping my head around to glare at him I can't believe the almost predator like growl that pulls from my throat the threatening tone drawing him back a few steps. The shattered look on his face is ten time worse than the quick glimpse I caught on our first day.

Turning back towards the door, I fling it open and rush out of the building soft curses falling from my mind as my feet hit concrete. The evening sun already falling away to the wonder of stars and the blistering moon.

Once my fingers could dig into bark, I don't even give myself time to yank off my clothes as the cracking of bones sounded through the surrounding forestry. The searing pain flaring every nerve as I try to just let it happen, easier said than done as the pain ruptured against the base of my skull. The world became nothing more than a blurred mess.