The darkest parts of you

Chapter V

Ava went for a shower, she wore clean clothes and did what Beatrice told her- she laid on the bed. She was actually really tired for some reason even though she literally didn't do anything the entire day. Her body was hurting since she came back but she didn't tell anyone.

Beatrice was sitting on the bed right next to Ava so that she'd take good care of her. Things between them were a little bit too awkward, they didn't even say a word after Beatrice saw Ava's scars. There was just silence until Ava decided to break the silence.

"Bea i am sorry i didn't tell you"

"Ava....look. I am not, mad. I just don't want you to feel like you have to hide things from me."

"No, no. I know. I just, i knew how worried you'd get and i didn't want you to feel like you have to take care of me"

Beatrice moved slightly closer to Ava and Ava sat up, Beatrice gave her the biggest smile in the whole world. That made Ava feel so comfortable.

"Ava, of course i'll take care of you if you need me. Besides, you're my-"

-girlfriends- that was what Beatrice thought. Because that's what they were. She wanted to say that word, but something was stopping her. Maybe her guilt, believing she betrayed her church or maybe the fact that she still hadn't realized they were here after everything that happened. Either way, she couldn't say it, until she saw how excited Ava got, how happy and stunned. That erased all her struggles. She took a deep breath, then continued.

"You, are my girlfriend Ava. I am worried because i care about you, because i love you so much"

Ava's eyes started sparkling. Hearing the word girlfriend from Beatrice felt so right, so nice. She moved closer and kissed Beatrice. Then pulled back, Ava touched Beatrice's face and caressed it softly. Beatrice looked so beautiful, Ava was out of breath, she stared at Beatrice with literal puppy eyes, she wanted to say much but she couldn't even speak.

That always happens with Ava, she just randomly stares at Beatrice's beautiful face and gets lost in her eyes, to the point where she forgets what she wants to say and all she wants to do is grab her and kiss her.

"Bea you are so perfect..."

Beatrice didn't sat anything at all, she kissed Ava and pulled her closer, Ava sat on top of her. They didn't cut the kiss which had already turned into a making-out session by then, it became more aggressive and rushed. Ava backed of, she took a moment to breathe, then she leaned for a kiss again but Beatrice pulled back, she looked down. Ava looked down, suddenly things were akward again, Ava sat next to Beatrice and placed her hand on her back.

"What's wrong?"

"Ava- i really do want this and i liked it what just happened but...i want to take it slow."

Ava understood Beatrice's point and she understood that Beatrice wasn't quite there yet. She had no problem with taking things slow, Beatrice had every right to feel, scared or insecure.

"Of course Bea. I understand. I love you"
"I love you too"

Beatrice nodded, Ava smiled.

"And you should sleep"

"I mean you are not wrong. I feel, exhausted. Even though i didn't do anything tiring since we got up"

"It's normal. You body's healing and, i've got the feeling you didn't sleep so well last night"

Ava looked down. Beatrice was right, again. She barely slept during the night, she'd get all anxious and stressed for some reason, she knew Beatrice was with her but part of her felt like it was a lie, a dream, sometimes not real again. She was scared that she'd wake up and she'd be all by herself in the other side and she couldn't go through any of that shit again. That's why she didn't want to fall asleep. She felt like she'd wake up back there.

Beatrice knew that Ava had problems with sleeping even before after all the things that happened. Back in the Alps, she had bad nights and nightmares. Beatrice always noticed her and she'd always try to comfort her, she believed it was normal, Ava's life was hard, having nightmares made sense.

"Ava, just sleep. I promise you, i am not going to leave. Okay?"

Ava nodded, she laid back on the bed, Beatrice laid next to her, they were looking at each other, Beatrice pulled Ava's hair background as she cuddled her face, Ava closed her eyes, she slept almost immediately knowing that Beatrice would never leave her.