Sweetened || HS AU

• four •

| Jailen |

"Have you ever been to the zoo, Hayden?" Harry asked, walking ahead of us to turn around and walk backward.

"Yes!" She exclaimed, struggling to keep up with Harry as he walked.

"Did you have fun?" He asked, his eyes flicking to me when I sped up and put my hand on Hayden's shoulder. I didn't want her to fall.

When she was walking steadily, I folded my arms and glanced up at Harry. His eyes lingered on me for a few more seconds and I tilted my head, "Maybe turn around before you bump into someone?"

He rolled his eyes, "Relax, mommy, I know what I'm doing. You don't have to parent me."

"Someone should've," I mumbled and he hummed but didn't respond as we approached a crosswalk.

He pulled his sunglasses down over his eyes and before I could grab Hayden's hand, he lifted her into his arms and started across the street.

"Harry!" I yelled after him, realizing that the light had just begun to shift to yellow.

"We have the light, come on scaredy-cat!" He yelled back.

"We do not have the goddamn light!" I groaned but nonetheless, followed after him. When we reached the other side, I waited until he sat Hayden down on the ground to reach out and slap his arm, "What the hell is your problem?"

He cackled, rubbing over the spot where I just hit him, "There are no cars coming, baby, relax!"

"That was fucking careless, don't do that again, Harry! I'm not joking," I grabbed Hayden's hand and continued walking, trying to calm my heartbeat as Harry continued to laugh behind me.

He ran to catch up to us before he stood in front of me, keeping me from moving, "Okay, look," He kneeled down so that he was at eye level with Hayden, "Are you hurt, munchkin?"

Munchkin... There was a pang in my chest as Hayden shook her head.

"You sure?" Harry asked, bringing his hands up and dramatically cupping her face, which made her giggle. Harry smiled, "Mommy thinks you're hurt. Are you hurt, Hayden?" He continued to 'inspect' her as he lifted her arm and spun her in a circle.

"I'm fine," Hayden giggled and I could help but smile as her laughter filled my ears.

"Promise?" Harry asked, holding his pinky out, "Let's pinky promise?"

"Pinky promise?" Hayden's face twisted in confusion and Harry nodded.

"Mhm, so when you want to make a promise and you wanna make sure the other person knows that you're serious, you pinky promise," He held her hand up and folded her fingers so that the only one sticking out was her pinky. Then, he wrapped his pinky around hers and hummed, "See? This means that you're absolutely positive that you're fine."

"Pinky promise," Hayden grinned before looking back at me, "Look, mommy!"

"I see, bug. So cool!" I smiled back at her, ignoring Harry's gaze as I cleared my throat and held my hand out for Hayden to take again, "Come on, we're almost at the zoo!"

–

My feet were killing me. I can't remember the last time I walked for four hours straight without a break. When I was younger, it was easier. Now, I wanted nothing more than to be carried like Hayden.

She was sleeping in Harry's arms. She had fallen asleep before we even left the zoo and Harry took it upon himself to carry her home, even though I assured him that I had it. It wasn't the first time and it wouldn't be the last time I have to carry her home.

There was silence between us, but I wasn't sure if it was awkward. It definitely wasn't a comfortable silence. The sun had set and it was now a little chilly outside. I wrapped my arms around myself and Harry quickly noticed.

"Cold?" He asked, keeping his voice low as if he was afraid to wake Hayden. He had nothing to worry about though. That girl could sleep through emergency sirens.

I nodded, "A little."

"I'd offer you my jacket, but I'm not wearing one," He joked and I couldn't help but smile as he continued talking, "Unless you want my shirt? I don't mind being shirtless."

"I know you don't," I snorted, "But, I'm fine. Thanks."

Another silence and I looked over at him, but he was focused on Hayden, unbothered by her hair in his face as he walked blindly down the street.

"Can I ask you a question, sweetie?" I stayed quiet, keeping my eyes ahead of us simply because I could feel him staring at me. He continued, "Would you have told me?"

"Told you what?" I mumbled, but I knew exactly what he was talking about. He sighed and I swallowed harshly before I shook my head, "No."

We turned the corner and I could see my apartment building at the end of the block. I found myself slowing down, all of sudden not as eager to get home. Harry shifted closer to me and I held my breath.

"Why not, baby?"

I chewed on the inside of my cheek and blinked slowly, "I wanted nothing to do with you, Harry-"

"Do you hate me?" He cut me off as we stopped in front of my apartment building. He opened the door and nodded his head so that I could go in first. I walked ahead of him and straight to the elevator.

Neither of us said anything as we waited, not even when we got into the elevator. I pressed 15 and leaned against the wall. I finally looked up at him, only to find him staring at me already.

"Answer the question, Jailen," He demanded and I nodded.

"I did," I answered quickly.

"And now?"

The doors opened on my floor and I was the first to walk out, pulling my keys out of my purse as we approached my door. The lights were off and I decided to keep them that way as I moved to the side so that Harry could walk in. We walked in silence to Hayden's bedroom, the sound of Harry's shoes echoing off of the walls of my apartment.

He laid her in bed and brushed her hair off of her face, his eyes lingering on her before he stood up straight and walked out of the room. I made my way over to her and took off her shoes before pulling the blanket over her. I leaned down and kissed her cheek and with one last look, I walked out of her room and shut the door behind me.

Harry was still here, standing in the hallway, leaning against the wall as he watched me. I pressed my back against Hayden's door and inhaled sharply.

"Jai-"

"I don't know, Harry," I whispered, running my hands over my face in exasperation, "I did. And up until yesterday, I was standing on that. I was 100% sure that I hated you. And now... I feel like I should, but I don't know if I do... if that fucking makes sense."

He stayed quiet, his lips pursed as his chest rose and fell slowly. I counted the seconds as they passed, nothing but the sound of my heartbeat racing when Harry pushed himself off of the wall. I closed my eyes as he leaned towards me and pressed his lips to my forehead.

"Goodnight, sweetie," He mumbled and I didn't speak as he walked away.

I listened to his footsteps recede. I listened to the front door open and close. And I even listened to the elevator ding. When I was sure he was gone, I exhaled deeply, reaching up and putting my hand over my chest.

Goodnight, Harry.