Bsd Angst One Shots

Oda & Dazai

Tw- self harm, panic attack

(Oda's pov):

I just finished work, I wasn't exhausted, actually kinda bored  so I thought that I'll go to Lupin for a drink. 
As I came into the familiar bar I saw Dazai and Ango siting there already and. Dazai was playing with the ice placed in his cap, his eyes looked dead. But started look a bit more alive then he saw me coming through the door.
"Odasakuuuuuuu~~" Said dazai and started spining on the chair a bit.
"Hey, Dazai and Ango" I approached them and sitted on a chair next to Dazai.

We talked a bit, and I also ordered something to drink. After around twenty minutes Dazai was still spining on the chair and he started to look as if he was gonna throw up any second. So I grabbed his shoulder in order to stop him. 

"Agh!" Dazai screamed in pain, I didn't know why. I didn't grabbed him this hard.
"You okay dazai?" Ango asked. Dazai quickly pushed my hand from his shoulder and putted a visibly forced smile on. "Yuppppp! Why wouldn't I beee?" He said and started gigling soon after. "Well, you just yelled out of nowhere..."
"Ah! Yeah! I just remembered that I'm still alive!" The bandaged boy said loudly and again started to play with now almost melted ice cube. He seemed alright so we just brushed it off.

Ango had work in the early morning so he leaved first. Now it was just me and Dazai, we talked some more. Weirdly Dazai didn't said a lot about unliving himeslf today, like he usually does. Soon enough Dazai started standing up and saying he has some things to do so he better go already. Okay that was enough I needed to ask what's up.
I again grabbed him but this time by other shoulder.

"Hm??? What's up Odasaku?~" Dazai said smiling at me, every other person would thing that it's genuine. But not me, I could saw that it was a forced smile.

"Dazai" I started, and he tilted his head "You know you can talk with me, right?" 
"Eh? what do you mean?" Dazai said acting dumb
"We are friends after all" As soon as I said that his eyes widened and for a good minute he just stayed and stared at me. And so did I, I just patiently waited for him to say something.

He started opening his mouth but no words come out, as if he wanted to say something but couldn't. "It's okay take your time" I said kindly, but Dazai's eyes widen eyen wider and his breathing increased. I realised that he may be having a panic atack so I tried to comfort him the best I could, saying stuf like it's okay, everythings fine.
He started to wobble so I put my hand around his shoulder and attempted to sit him on the floor.

"Dazai, you know I care for you right? Everything will be okay, just calm down"

After I said some more things and stroked his hair, that was actualy realy fluffy I thought it will be greasy or something. His breathing calmed down enough for him to look at me and say something.
"A-Ah haha sorry~ Just problems with breathinggg~ Maybe I have asthma or something heheee anyway I'll be go-" "Dazai" I said firmly and his face stoped smiling, and for a second looked like a confused childs "Why are you just trying to ignore it? You just had an panick atack, this is serious. I won't force you to tell me what happened but I hope you will" Dazai was looking at me the whole time but then I finished he looked down and started to stare at the floor. 

"Why...Why do you care, odasaku?" As I processed what he had said, I didn't realy knew how to respond, why do I care? Is it because I pity him? Or maybe because I just cant stand to see a hurting child? Yeah probably this but also. "Because, as I said alredy, we are friends. Well at least I see you as one, I don't realy know about you. And from what I know friends help and care for each other" He looked up a litte "And thats what I'm doing now" I stood up and pulled out my hand to help him stend up as well. With a little hesitation he took my hand and stood up.
"Okay, now lets go somewhere else I promised to kids that I'll read them to sleep" And with that I proceded to walk to the door with Dazai folowing me.
We walked in comfortable silence.

We got to the place and I went to open the door of a small building. And as soon as I did so five children jumped on me. I saw dazai jerk away probably to not be crushed under the unbehaved kids.
After some wrestling with them I was finally free and could go with dazai trough the stairs and to one of the rooms upstairs. A guest room to be exact, It was always empty because we never have any guests. So I took Dazai there.
We sitted on a worn out couch that was in the room and I started talking.
"Alright. Dazai, do you feel okay enough now to tel me what happened?"
"Eh which thing you want me to explain?" Dazai asked.
"First maybe. Why did you yelled back then Igrabbed your shoulder?"
"Ehhh well it's not realy anything you know just..." He stoped his facade then he saw my caring face.
"Ugh.." He then proceded to take off his jacked and shirt. My eyes widened as he started undoing bandages from his arms .

And under them multiple scars some from what looked like sef harm and some that looked more like an effect of abuse, and parhaps needles. On the left shoulder I could see some fresh cuts that had still dried blood on them. One cut started bleeding, probably because dazai took of the bandage and all the dried blood came off with it. I didn't realy knew what to do so I just huged him. I think it helped because he moved his head closer to my chest.
We stayed like this for a while and then I asked dazai to wait for me a second as I went for a first aid kit.
Then I came back he was laying on the couch but then he realised that I came in he imendiantly sited up.

I took care of his wounds, he didn't say a thing from the begining to the end but I saw him flinch a few times then I was cleaning the cuts.
"Okay. Now, can you please tell me why did you did this?" I asked while puting the first aid kit on the floor next to the couch.
"Did what?" 
"Don't act dumb"
"Eh, I don't know, just wanted to relive myself I guess..."
"I understand, but please don't do this anymore okay? Have you ever tryied to relieving yourself some other ways?"
"Nope"
"I see" I tryied to think of something that could make this suicidal boy feel better.
"Maybe... Cutting fruits?..." I said, but it sounded more like I was asking a question.
"Eh? What do you mean?" Dazai asked tilting his head to the right.

"Just you know, like apples and stuf. I find slicing fruits and wegetables for kids quite relaxing so maybe it will help you too?
"Hmmm well I can try~" Dazai said smiling, it made me happy.
"But not aplles troughttttt I hate apples!" He said and acted as if he was vomiting. I laughed at his acting, and seeing me laughing Dazai did the same.

After our laughing session I said to Dazai that he can stay the night on the couch to what he happily noded and smiled, and this time his smile seemed genuie.

Present time (third person's pov):

Bandaged man was sitting in the office smiling and doing something what was unusual for him because he's always just lazying around.

"Dazai-san what are you doing?" Asked atsushi peeking from behing Dazai's shoulder.
"Oh! I'm cutting fruits! You want some? I don't think I'll be able to eat so much anyway hehe~" Said dazai with his usual dumb expression on face.
"Woah! Dazai why would you cut so much fruits??"
"Hmm well I was bored" Said Dazai
"Oh wait! I just remembered! I don't think cats can eat fruits... I'm so sorry Atsushi" He wiped out an invisible tear.
"Dazai-san! I'm not a cat!"
"Sorry I can't speak cat~ Ah I'm just gonna give them to Kunikida~" And with that Dazai went to Kunikidas desk pretending that he doesn't hear Atsushis meows.

1516 Words
Hope you liked it sorry for any mistakes or not canon acting I made my best to make it the most canon I could. And btw with this cutting fruits I do this too and it kida helps, you can also try it if you want, you just take any fruit you have (apples and pears are the best) I also always take a good knife because it's satisfaing for me then it cuts so smothly~~ and slice it one tiny parts well actually they can be any size you want but I make it realy tiny so that I can cut it more