Bsd Angst One Shots

Kyoka's sketchbook

My headcanon Kyoka likes to draw and always cary her sketchbook with herself.
Tw Suicidal thoughts,

Kyoka since joining the agency found out she enjoyed drawing and even more liked Atsushi's exited face thenever she told him that she's done drawing a new drawing. Kyoka has two sketchbooks, one she always shows to Atsushi and to other people as well if they ask and the second one that noone knows what's inside of. And nobody has problem with it after all everyone has some sort of secrets and it's okay. Almost nobody, Dazai was getting more and more courios he even started asking Atsushi to take Kyoka's sketchbook for him even if he knew it's not going to happen.

"Ahhh please Atsushi I'm going to kill myselfff!"
"Dazai I say this one last time I'm not going to steal this for you and don't joke like this please"
Dazai klicked his tongue from his another plan not working out. Then he started to cry that Atsushi doesn't care about him killing himself and ended up runing out the agency screaming.
"I'm going to find a beautiful women to commit suicide with!!!!"

Atsushi sighned and went back to working, the truth is that he is also very courious for, he loves Kyoka's drawings so much and couldn't stand the though that he didn't saw all of them. Shaking head he made his toughts go away and continued on working.

A brunette was walking down the stairs of agency then he saw a purple haired girl in traditional clothing going in his direction. They passed each other and as the man was sure she's far enought a smirk made it's way onto his face and humming he walked out the building.

(Later this evening, ADA's office)

It's already late so inside the office are only Yosano and Atsushi. But soon a brunette man opened the door and chearfully walked to his chair. Atsushi asked him why did he come back? On what Dazai grined ominously and started taking something out from behind his jacket. Yunger male took a while to realize what the something was but as soon as he did he gasped.
"Wait- Isn't this Kyokas sketchbook!?? Why do you have it?"
Dazai put the book on a desk infront of them.
"Hehe not only is this a sketchbook buttt it's the one that she doesn't show to anyone!"
Atsushi from surprise went into seriousness and with a mad expression started scolding Dazai that it's a crime to steal things and that he should return it right away. Dazai ignored him and was about to open the sketchbook then someone took it from his hands. Both of them turned their heads to see that it was Yosano.

"Dazai I knew your selfish but this much? Robbing a little girl and your coworker at that?"
Dazai shrug, and started to talk with Atsushi about how much he want's to kill himself with a beautiful woman. Yosano sighned and walked back to her desk. But while wallking the sketchbook fell from her hand so she went to grab it back and.
"Wha- What's this...?"
The book fell on the hack so two pages were visible. Yosano's gasp made Atsushi and Dazai look back at her and see aa she picks up the sketchbook.
"Ah! You scold me and look inside yourself!"
Dazai shouted playfuly.
"It fell and opened itself"
Explained purple haired woman, while staring in fear at the drawings. She haven't turned the pages so it's still as it fell, on the left page was a drawing of hanging girl looking like Kyoka, and under it two cutted off hands. On the right was a drawing of Kyoka with a lot of knifes going through her body, under it a big drawing with all the agency members except Kyoka. And then a doodle of Kyoka cribbled with a pen. Yosano was surprised that Kyoka would draw such horrifying things and also wondered what they might mean but then she noticed that next to every drawing was something writen and obviously Yosano started to read it.

The guilt is eating me from inside I sometimes think that it would be better if I would die but without a beautiful woman like Dazai-san wants to, I would die alone and paintfuly.

My stained with blood hands should be cuted off.

I deserve to be pirced with thousands of knifes for being so useless, everything would be better without me.

I feel like a burden and it's probably true, I just hope that at least Atsushi doesn't hate me he's very important to me and my heart would shatter for sure if he would hate me.

I c*scribbled over*

As Yosano finished reading next to her stood Dazai and Atsushi. Dazai didn't realy care but was still shoked, and Atsushi was horifyied that Kyoka feels this way, was he that awful that he didn't even notice something like that? They all were deep in their thought then the door slamed open and Kyoka stood in them. Atsushi immediantly run to her and started huging babling how sorry he is but Kyoka didn't understand for it was almost adiable.
"What happened Atsushi why are you sobbing?"
She asked with a confused face while holding Atsushi. Then she saw Yosano and in her hands nothing else then the thing she came here to search for, her sketchbook. Now it started to have sense they probably read the things that she wrote in there and now Atsushi's angry, yes he probably hates her now. With a more emotionless expresion Kyoka moved a little away from Atsushi to see his face.
"I'm sorry Atsushi, please don't hate me..."
Atsushi wiped his eyes with his sleeve.
"Wh-what? Why would I hate you? I'm just sad that you have been sufering and I didn't even notice anything, I should be the one sorry..."
"No, shouldn't have writed or drew these things I-"
Atsushi grabbed her face with both hands so she would look at his face instead of floor.
"It's okay, it's good to take your thought out on something and you can continue to draw and write in this sketchbook just, know that I-"
Atsushi saw Yosano and Dazai from corner of his eye.
"And everyone in the agency are here and thenever you like you can talk with us okay?"
He asked now smiling and taking Kyoka's hands in his. Kyoka smiled back and they both ended up huging on the floor. Dazai started wispering into Yosano's ear awww sounds and she hit him lightly on the face to what he made a weird face and fell to the ground next to Kyoka and Atsushi.

After the hugging and saying sorry sesion from Atsushi and Kyoka. Yosano said it's time to back home and also gave the sketchbook back to the purple haired girl. She thanked with emotionless face but soon changed into a mad one and started to stare at Dazai. She stared so hard that it felt as if she's going to make two hols inside of him soon. Dazai tried to ignore it but it got more and more intense so he finally asked what the matter.
"You stole it..."
Dazai fake gasped.
"Whaaat? Why do you immediantly think it's me huh? Maybe it was Atsushi or Kunikida huh?
He asked wiping a non existing tear. Kyoka groaned and taking Atsushi's hand started walking out the bulding.

1300 Words
Having a diary or a sketchbook where you take out your thoughts can help you at least a little well it does for me but you can try too. A very boring and short chapter but I'm just so tired.