Bsd Angst One Shots

Lonely Lucy /eng/

Tw Child abuse, self harm

Red haired girl was washing her hand in a sink, after finishing she shook off the water from her hands and started walking, walking and walking in circle. Today is one of the most boring days Lucy had in a long time, out of boredom groaning from anger she headed to a couch in front of which stands a tiny like the couch TV. She threw herself onto the couch landing in a laying position but with her head facing the monitor. Beside the couch on a tiny table lays a remote which the girl immediantly took as she realized that she doesn't have it and TV couldn't be turned on without it, actualy it could but then she would need to stand up and come over to it which surely isn't her biggest dream at the moment. Sighning Lucy klicked one of the remote's buton, her eyes slightly closed from the sudden light of the device. The TV as the whole apartment wherein the girl lives doesn't came by no means from a higher shelf, you could even call it poor in fact. But for Lucy there is everything she needs and even more looking back at the conditions in which she lived in the past. Not that she lived in a poor house, no nothing similiar, the "house" (orphanage) itself was okay, what you can't say about the girl's room- actually you can't say anything about it for it never actually existed. Lucy spent all her days on scrubbing floors until her finger tips changed into a wrinkled mass of flesh which was hard to call finger tips anymore, also wiping dust from hights no child should ever be forced to reach. If there was a list of all the "house chores" little Lucy had to do you wouldn't probably see the end from how long is was, and then something  wasn't finisged or god forbid not done fully she got punishments which pain she can feel to this day thenever she looks at her roght arm.

Green eyes stared bored at colorfull screen of TV, going through channel to channel with the remote in right hand. After some time from changing channels all the time and the screen buzzing because of it and because of how old the device is, Lucy's eyes started to ache so with a sigh but this time filled with boredom she stoped on a random channel and put the remote away. After a while of advirtesments program began and the topic of it turned out to be child abuse. Girl's face frowned a bit and turned serious as she listened in the voices coming out of TV. They were talking about how children around the whole world suffer because of abuse and how much we need to help them, at the end they showed fundations that help in such cases and where you can transfer money to also help. Thwy said that every cent is worth and then there's a big number on the screen. Lucy grit her teeth, anger slowly seeping into her head. Anger? Is she angry? Or maybe jealous? Or maybe it's because of all her memories from the orphanage coming back? Then at the end of the program everyone participating in it were standing- smiling and happy. Something in Lucy broke and red from anger she grabbed the remote laying on the little table and threw it straight into the screen. Not thinking abour anything(also about the fact that this can cuse a fire) stomping she began wallking around the apartment, she went through every room finally stoping in a bathroom then she felt something flowing down her face. Coming up to a mirror it turned out to be salty tears pouring out of her eyes. Anger from a few moments before quickly turned into saddnes, Lucy leened agains the bathroom wall and slid on it onto a cold tiled floor. Then she sat there trying to calm down sudenly flashbacks from her childhood started to apear in front of her eyes. She saw herself being burned with a metal stick heated up so mach it became red and glowing. She heard her beggs to stop and also quite whispers asking for someone- anyone- to save her from this hell.

Lucy's breaths started to fill less and less place inside of her lungs with every next. In desperation to stop the flashbacks she made a fist and punched her head with it. All of a sudden everything went silent and everything she could feel was the pain from the punch. Pain soon faded and with it memories also started coming back, girl jerked her red braids, Pain once more helped, then it started fading she jerked more at her braids(which in this state it's hard to even call them braid anymore) with every jerk pain faded faster, in desperation for more pain her eyes jumped around the whole bathroom finally stoping on a cartain object. Lucy stoped jerking her hair and moved closer to the shining in her eyes thing. She put her hand on the handle and lifted it up, she lifted a one-use shaver which she forgot to throw away after the last time of using it. With a skillful move she removed the handle of the upper sharp part, Lucy lifted left sleeve of her shirt and immediantly put the sticking out blade to her pale skin.

Red hairded hissed from pain dragging the blade after her skin leaving red lines with little boobles of blood on top, hurts, that's the point.

After a few drags luckly she woke up from the trance and the devixe fell from her hand with a faint sound from hiting the floor. Lucy wraped her hands around her legs resing head on the also as cold wall as the floor.
"I'm lonely..."

1068 Words

Sorry I took a bit more time but something happened and my mother kind of took my laptop, she also doesn't pay for my phone so I don't have wi fi which makes me capable of only writing in the house which alsooo means I almost can't do this um yeah I'll try to get it back as soon as I can she said I don't deserve good things so I guess I need to deserve it? I didn't figure out what it means yet so wish me luck!!!!! Eat healthy drink water and get a lottttt of sleep, and have tissues in your pockets if you have alergies(like me....) bye bye.