Feral Attachments

Chapter 8

Isla

I hurry home and shower so the overwhelming scent of food isn't clinging to me when Ysabel arrives. I'm nervous, for some reason. Like I want this to go well. I've never really cared about having friends before, or people even liking me at all. But there's something about Ysabel, like her soul reached out to mine. 

"Isla?" I hear her call as she knocks on the door. I rush to open it, trying not to let my nerves get the better of me. 

"Hey, Ysabel. Come in." I say, moving to the side so she can move past me. 

"You can call me 'Ys'. Most people do." she says with a warm smile as her eyes wander the house. "Wow. I've never been in here before. It's beautiful." she says, but I can't help but grunt in response. "What?" she asks curiously, her eyes sparkling. 

"It's nothing." I say, walking towards the living room. 

"Oh, it's something. The Alpha moving you into this house is definitely not nothing." she says, excitement clear on her face. She wants to know the gossip and something about her openness makes me want to tell her. 

"He um... he propositioned me for an attachment." I say. Ysabel's eyes go wide before she squeals in joy, bouncing up and down on the couch before reaching over and smacking my knee playfully. 

"Then why aren't you marked yet?" she asks incredulously. 

"Because I'm not interested." I say firmly. It's her turn to grunt in disbelief. 

"I know I have a mate out there somewhere, and he will be my whole world when I find him, but until then it's Alpha Atlas that stars in my dirty dreams. You can't possibly be telling the truth when you say you're not interested." she presses. I look over at her and my expression must say more than words ever could because she goes quiet, reaching over to hold my hand. 

"It's a long story." I say quietly. "But honestly, I'm just scared." I admit. The words taste like acid on my tongue, and I'm not sure why I've finally said it out loud. But now that the I've put the thought into the universe, the settling in my soul tells me it's true. 

"Scared of what?" Ysabel asks gently, running her hand soothingly up and down my arm. 

"Can you keep this between us?" I ask, this whole dynamic completely new to me. 

"Of course." she says vehemently. I nod and take a deep breath before continuing. 

"Omegas tend to be used. Treated poorly. As more of an object than a person." I say and Ysabel nods. 

"I've heard of that. But Alpha Atlas doesn't seem the type to do that. Granted I don't know him too well, but from what I've seen since he took over he has been nothing but kind and fair." she says.

"I agree with you." I say, taking in a deep breath and letting it out slowly. "I've just always told myself I would never attach myself to someone. That I would never put myself in that vulnerable position. That it wouldn't matter if the Moon Goddess herself descended from the sky and told me he was a good person, that he would treat me well. I would still refuse every time. But now Atlas is here and he listens to me and gives me choices and makes me feel... like I actually matter. I never expected to meet someone like that." I explain. Ysabel thinks on my statement for awhile, a look of clear understanding spreading across her face. 

"So now it's like your brain, your heart and your wolf are all fighting against each other." she says and I nod. 

"Yes. And it's hard to deny her. No wolf wants to be alone forever. It's our very nature to attach ourselves. To have that bond, that sense of purpose and belonging. I would even like to have some pups running around. But not if it means sacrificing my sense of self. My beliefs, my dignity, my safety. I could never. And while part of me believes Atlas would never hurt me, the other part of me wonders if he's only being kind until he can trap me with a mark." I admit, the words flowing through me like my fears had become trapped and a dam inside of me finally broke, allowing them to spill free.