Feral Attachments

Chapter 18

Isla

I feel my eyes go wide, my mouth open in shock as I absorb his words. Surely he can't be serious? It all feels too good to be true. 

"You love me?" I ask before I can stop myself. 

"Yes." he responds so quickly, so resolutely that the weight of the words frighten me. 

"No you don't." I snap back despite the fact that I was just in his mind and know without a doubt that it's the truth. 

"Yes, little wolf. I do." he says, moving closer to me. He goes slowly, giving me time to push him away if I want to. I don't. Instead I watch as he reaches for me, wrapping his arms around my waist and pulling me into his lap. I let out a breath as I relax into his hold. 

"No. You don't." I say again. "You can't, Atlas. Because I'm not worth loving." I murmur, finally sharing my deepest fear with him. Something I was dreading to be true, hoping it wasn't. But after this experience I can't help but believe it. I hear Atlas scoff from above me and tilt my head to look at him. 

"Who told you that? I'll murder them." he responds, tightening his arms around me. 

"My own father couldn't love me." I say, trying to keep my tears at bay. I've shed enough of them for the time being. I feel Atlas' growl through where my head is pressed against his chest. 

"Your father was an imbecile. I don't even know your brothers and yet I can still say with absolute certainty that you are more fit to run that pack than any of them." he says firmly, leaving no room for doubt. I am still slightly in his mind and can sense that he's telling the truth. The thought brings a small grin to my lips as I tuck back into his chest. 

"Atlas?" 

"Yes?" 

"I think I love you." I say quietly, my heart beating wildly in my chest as my whole body begins to shake with anticipation. Atlas' responding laughter makes me confused. 

"You think?" he asks, pulling me away from him so he can look at me. I shrug and smile, not sure how to respond. 

"I've never really loved anyone before." I say back, embarrassed at my own admission. His laughter subsides as his face grows soft while he looks at me.

"Do you enjoy being around me?" he asks. 

"Yes." I respond easily. 

"Am I the first thing you think about in the morning and the last before you go to bed?" 

"Yes."

"Do you picture a future with me? Pups? Running our pack?" 

"Yes." 

"Do I make your stomach all jumpy and your heart beat faster?" 

"Yes."

"Then you love me." he says with a wide smile. I smile back and nod. 

"I love you." I say timidly, enjoying the flow of the words off my tongue. 

"Well, say it like you mean it, little wolf." he responds teasingly, tightening his arms around me more. 

"I love you!" I shout, smiling from ear to ear as I look up at him. He chuckles warmly, the sound acting as a balm on the open wound the last few hours cut through my soul. 

"And I love you. I will continue to love you. Through hard times, through your stubbornness, through all that life has to throw at us. I will never leave your side, or stop encouraging you. You are the best thing that's ever happened to me." he says so sweetly it makes me melt into him further. He's left the block on his mind down and I can feel how honest he's being. 

I can feel how much he loves me. 

It's an intoxicating thing, to be the center of someone's world. It also feels like a heavy responsibility. One I decide I want to take on. 

"You may need to be patient with me. I think this whole thing has shown that I still have some insecurities." I say, looking around the now destroyed nesting room with a twinge of embarrassment. 

I may have overreacted a little. 

Or I could have at least let him explain before jumping to conclusions and destroying all of the hard work we both put into this space. 

"I know that, little wolf. And I will have all of the patience in the world with you. I promise." he murmurs, nuzzling his nose against my cheek until I smile. "I should probably let Ysabel know everything's alright." he adds.

"Why?" I ask, closing my eyes and embracing his gentle hands on my body. 

"She was worried about you. I'm guessing she heard you up here." he explains. A pang of guilt flashes through me, but I push it to the side. I'll apologize to Ys later. She'll understand. 

"I love her too." I say. I didn't mean to say it out loud, but thinking about her made me realize it. 

"Really?" Atlas asks and I nod. 

"Yes. In a way I imagine most women love their sisters." I say and he nods in approval. 

"You should tell her that. I'm sure it will make her happy." he says and I nod in agreement. 

"I will." I say as a flash of heat goes through me. I groan slightly and reach out and scrape my finger nails down Atlas' arms. His body goes tense as he leans into me, moaning slightly. He shuts his eyes and tucks his face into my neck, sucking on the warm skin where I know he wants to mark me. "Atlas?" I ask, my voice breathy as I feel the heat begin to take over. 

"Yes, little wolf?" he asks, pecking gentle kisses up my neck, across my face towards my ear before he sucks gently my skin, surely leaving a mark that will last for days. 

"Attach yourself to me." I plead, curling my arms around his neck and pulling him close. His body stills at my words and I can feel concern billowing from him. 

"Isla... We can wait until your next heat for that. I don't want to rush into something after you've had some an emotional afternoon." he says. "I will help you through this heat, but we can wait for the marking." he suggests. His stance on this situation would hurt my feelings in any other circumstance, but with me still slightly in his mind I can tell that he's taken it out of concern for me and nothing more. 

"No." I say, shaking my head and tightening my hold on him. "I don't want to spend another month, another day, another moment not being attached to you." I say firmly, looking him straight in the eyes so he knows I'm serious. He watches me for a long moment, his eyes darting across his face as I practically watch his thoughts go through his mind. I stay quiet, letting him think, until he nods once. 

Then he crashes his lips onto mine. 

The kiss is deep and desperate. One of a man who has known what he wants for a very long time and is only now believing that he's actually going to get it. 

He parts my lips with his tongue, groaning as he explores me. I moan back, slipping my hands up into his hair, gripping him tight and holding him close. He kisses me for a long time, pouring so much emotion into the embrace I feel nearly overwhelmed by how much he feels for me and how much I return that affection. Once we're both breathless he pulls away, breathing heavy as he looks down at me with red, puffy lips and a bright smile. 

"By the time you leave this room, you'll be mine." he says, looking around the now destroyed space. "But first, let me take care of this." he says, giving me a quick kiss before a devilish grin flits across his face. 

"Then I'll take care of you."