Like The Stars From Above

CHAPTER 16

A new step
A new beggining
Is it a good thing that I’ve left?
Cause I don’t think I will ever see my self smiling

“SURE KA na ba talaga sa desisyon mo, 'Nak?” Napatigil ako sa pag-aayos ng gamit at napatulala sa bintana. The rain was coming down hard, it was lashing at the glass, it made the whole sky look dark and dreary. It felt like it was going to rain forever, the feeling of gloom and sadness was inescapable. It made everything seem bleak, the world around looked so somber, so devoid of color, as if life itself had a gray filter over it, making all of the colors dull and depressing to look at.

“O-Opo, Ma.” Umiwas ako ng tingin at nagpatuloy sa paglagay ng damit at kung ano-ano pa sa suitcase. Wala naman akong choice, e. It's either yes or yes. No, I'm not kidding. Hindi ako pwedeng mag-stay dito para lang maharap ang galit ni Terrence. Ang konprontasyon... ang mga salitang hindi ko rin kakayanin. And maybe right now, I probably made his rage into his extent kaya hindi niya na ako hinahanap. At kaya ko pa bang iharap ang pagmumukha ko sa kanya kapag ganoon?

Hindi.

“Anak, naiintindihan ko naman na para sa iyo itong ginagawa mo pero sa tingin mo kaya mong palakihin ang bata nang mag-isa?” Mom sighed. “Oo, alam kong kaya mo siyang palakihin dahil makakangat ka sa buhay dahil andyan ang Tita mo, pero paano ka makakasiguradong hindi ka mahihirapan na palakihin ang bata habang nag-aaral ka sa ibang bansa? Noong panahon ko nga, hirap na hirap ako pagsabayin ang pag-aaral at pagtatrabaho, pagpapalaki pa kaya ng bata?”

“Wala naman tayong choice, Ma, hindi ba? Kahit naman na sa tingin ko maghihirap ako na pagsabayin ang pag-aaral ko at pagpapalaki sa anak ko, dito pa rin ako mapupunta, Ma, e.” A tear rolled down my eye. “Kasalanan ko rin naman kung bakit humantong sa ganito, I should've told him about it earlier than this— hindi yung sa iba niya pa mismo malalaman. Wala na akong maihaharap sa kanya, kaya sa tingin niyo pa ba, Ma, tatanggapin niya pa ang bata? He won't. And even if you force us into making up to each other for the sake of our child, Ma, it could worsen the situation! And I won't let that happen kasi makakapaekto na sa bata...” Tuluyan na akong naiyak as my tears fall continuously. Mom gave me a tight hug as he try to console me.

“Tahan na, Lia. Tahan na. Magiging okay din ang lahat, hmm?” It made me calmed down a bit, but I hugged her tighter.

Everything... will be... alright...

Not now, but eventually...

Well, that's what I hope, though. Until now.

“Mi! Si Caleb, oh! Nang-aaway!” Lila cried from a distance.

“Ikaw kaya nanguna, sumbong ka pa kay mama! Bleh!” I was cut off from my reverie as their noises surround the room. Kailan ba sila hindi nag-away? Parang wala yatang araw na hindi sila gano'n.

I sighed and approached the twins na nag-aasaran pa rin. “Caleb, ano na namang ginawa mo sa kapatid mo?”

“Siya nanguna, mimi! Inaasar niya ako. Sabi niya ampon daw ako,” saad nito at ngumawa. Pinigilan ko ang sariling matawa nang sobra dahil sa sinabi nito. Ampon? Saang part ang ampon kung twins sila— fraternal twins, to be exact.

“Lila,” I said, both eyebrows raised as if telling her, "what did I always tell you?"

She pouted. “Mi, he misinterpreted what I said. I told him na parang ampon siya kasi kamukha kita, pero siya walang kamukha. Kaya akala ko ampon siya. Nagtatanong lang naman ako, mi, siya naman ngawa agad. Hmp!” I smiled at her. For a six year old and turning seven like her, she's doing great for adapting English at an early age—which is my skill, too, when I was her age.